not_a_whiner: (kaidan: ready)
Kaidan Alenko ([personal profile] not_a_whiner) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2013-08-13 12:23 pm
Entry tags:

Coping With Loss, Tuesday, Third Period

"Today, I'd like to do a couple of exercises with the class as a group," Kaidan said. He was holding a couple of blank sheets of paper. He walked past each table and put down one of the pieces of paper until he was all out.

Then he returned to the front of the class. "First, we've got to talk freely about this. You can opt out of this exercise if you want to, but it'd probably be useful for the rest of the class if you didn't." He scraped his throat. "I'm going to ask you all a couple of questions. I want you to raise your hand if your answer is 'yes', and hold it up so the rest of the class can see it."

Once he'd gone through the exercise, he instructed the students to put their pens to paper.

"I want you to write down some things," he said. "Start with five items that are really important to you. Then, five things about the world you like. Places you like going to, animals you're fond of, that kind of thing. Then write down five activities you're into. Jogging, reading, whatever. Finally, I want you to write down five people you care about."

He waited until everyone was done before continuing-- by reading off a datapad.


"I'm going to tell you a story," he said. "Imagine you're in the shower some day. It's been a good time, nice weather, you hung out with some good people. You're cleaning off and getting ready to go to bed when you realize there's an odd lump. It kinda hurts to touch. You can't help but worry, even though you keep telling yourself it's nothing. But you can't sleep that night. And the next day... you're still worried. So you call up the doctor and make an appointment."

He lowered the datapad. "I want you to pick one thing on your list and strike it off," he said. "That's gone."

He cleared his throat. "You worry for a couple of days more and then you find yourself in the doctor’s waiting room. You're nervous. You notice everything in the room: the ticking clock, the magazines, the fish. You think about it and realize you're anxious. The doctor shows up eventually and takes your history-- you try to second-guess why he is asking all of those questions about malignancy in your family history. 'Oh, it’s probably nothing,' he says. 'But we ought to do some further tests just to be sure.' But you're worried, and that worry isn't going away this time. So... strike three things off your list."

Kaidan went on like that for a while, describing the process of finding out you had a terrible illness - fighting it, then finding out that no amount of fighting was going to stop it. At every phase in the story, he told the class to strike a few things off their lists.

By the end, he was telling them to breathe in deeply, then let go. "And that was it," he finished. "You're dead. Strike the last ones off your list and toss it out."


He cleared his throat. "We're done now," he said. "You're all alive and, uh, breathing. So-- there's still a few minutes on the clock. If you want to talk, there's space."
genesishero: (Huddled)

Re: Sign In!

[personal profile] genesishero 2013-08-13 11:13 am (UTC)(link)
Evan Sabahnur
walkswithcoyote: (Default)

Re: Sign In!

[personal profile] walkswithcoyote 2013-08-13 12:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Mercy Thompson
dressedinblood: (Anna is pensive)

Re: Sign In!

[personal profile] dressedinblood 2013-08-14 10:05 am (UTC)(link)
Anna Korlov
genesishero: (Shadows)

Re: Questions - One

[personal profile] genesishero 2013-08-13 11:17 am (UTC)(link)
Evan wasn't so sure about putting his hand up in front of the class, but he supposed they were all here because of something like this.

His went up. A little. He still had a lot of mixed feelings about Uncle Cluster and what the man had done.
walkswithcoyote: (Sad black and white)

Re: Questions - One

[personal profile] walkswithcoyote 2013-08-13 12:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Mercy raised a hand silently.
flickofthewrist: (not afraid to die)

Re: Questions - One

[personal profile] flickofthewrist 2013-08-13 01:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Flick really didn't want to participate in this exercise. After that first question came out, he really just wanted to get the hell out of here and drink.

He hadn't had that urge in awhile. He kept his seat though and kept his down for this one. He didn't want to share Jude or his mother or Lucas or anyone yet.
dressedinblood: (Anna is a little wibbly)

Re: Questions - One

[personal profile] dressedinblood 2013-08-14 10:07 am (UTC)(link)
Anna raised her hand because, well, yes.
genesishero: (Worried)

Re: Questions - Two

[personal profile] genesishero 2013-08-13 11:18 am (UTC)(link)
Evan still wasn't looking up, but his hand went up at 'Months.'
walkswithcoyote: (Sad black and white)

Re: Questions - Two

[personal profile] walkswithcoyote 2013-08-13 12:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Less than five, but more than a year. Mercy's hand went up.
flickofthewrist: (caught in the briars)

Re: Questions - Two

[personal profile] flickofthewrist 2013-08-13 01:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Since he hadn't answered the first part, there was no real point in answering this one either. He stayed still, muscles tense and expression blank.
dressedinblood: (Anna is a little wibbly)

Re: Questions - Two

[personal profile] dressedinblood 2013-08-14 10:08 am (UTC)(link)
Anna's hand went up at the last one.

It felt like a lot less than fifty years when you spent most of them trapped in a house alone.
genesishero: (Over The Shoulder Glance)

Re: Questions - Three

[personal profile] genesishero 2013-08-13 11:20 am (UTC)(link)
Evan's hand stayed down for that one. He wouldn't have to worry about that until February.

He wasn't looking forward to February.
walkswithcoyote: (Sad black and white)

Re: Questions - Three

[personal profile] walkswithcoyote 2013-08-13 12:47 pm (UTC)(link)
November and December. That wasn't... really close. She hesitated, then left her hand down.
flickofthewrist: (from time to time)

Re: Questions - Three

[personal profile] flickofthewrist 2013-08-13 01:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Flick's hand stayed down. He took a breath and stared straight ahead.
dressedinblood: (Anna is pensive)

Re: Questions - Three

[personal profile] dressedinblood 2013-08-14 10:10 am (UTC)(link)
Anna's hand stayed down for this one. Her father had died in October, which didn't seem that close, and the anniversary of her own death wasn't until April.
genesishero: (Trapped)

Re: Questions - Four

[personal profile] genesishero 2013-08-13 11:22 am (UTC)(link)
And Evan's hand stayed down for this one, too.

He'd never needed to learn.
walkswithcoyote: (Sad black and white)

Re: Questions - Four

[personal profile] walkswithcoyote 2013-08-13 12:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Mercy's hand stayed down in her lap.
flickofthewrist: (in the middle of the night)

Re: Questions - Four

[personal profile] flickofthewrist 2013-08-13 01:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, Joi had tried to teach him. It hadn't worked so hey, what the hell, Flick stuck his hand in the air. There had been attempts to teach him but the question had said nothing about it working.
dressedinblood: (Anna is pensive)

Re: Questions - Four

[personal profile] dressedinblood 2013-08-14 10:11 am (UTC)(link)
Definitely no. Anna's hand stayed down again.
genesishero: (Reading)

Re: Loss Empathy Exercise - List

[personal profile] genesishero 2013-08-13 11:27 am (UTC)(link)
This list was actually more difficult for Evan to manage than the activity that was about to come after it. For his five items, he managed to get Ozzy and books. Things about the world was left mostly empty, except that the library made its way on there. Reading, baseball, playing with Ozzy, training and science managed to fill up his five activities, at least. And for five people, he wrote down Sholeh, Yeul, Wade, Angel, and after a little consideration, Gert.

It was hard to come up with things to like about the world, when you were just discovering that you didn't really know much about the world at all.
flickofthewrist: (back in the day)

Re: Loss Empathy Exercise - List

[personal profile] flickofthewrist 2013-08-13 01:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Flick jotted down a few things on each list. He got to about three when it came to items he loved, got to five with the things about the world that he loved, managed five for activities and managed three for favorite people.

It was good enough.
flickofthewrist: (low light buddy of mine)

Re: Loss Empathy Exercise - Story

[personal profile] flickofthewrist 2013-08-13 01:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Since his lists weren't fully filled out, Flick was pretty much out of things halfway through. Oh well. His life tended to be like that.
dressedinblood: (Anna is losing it)

Re: Loss Empathy Exercise - Story

[personal profile] dressedinblood 2013-08-14 10:17 am (UTC)(link)
Anna was fine throughout the story until Kaidan pronounced them all dead. Then there was a moment where a tracery of black veins flicked across her face, a few drops of blood fell from the hem of her dress to the floor. A moment where she lost a little of her control.

Then he told them they were all really still alive and breathing, and she got up and walked out of the room with no ceremony whatsoever, leaving in her wake a trail of blood droplets that soaked into the floor and disappeared moments later.

She forgot to open the door before she walked through it. Oops?
dressedinblood: (Anna is pensive)

Re: Talk.

[personal profile] dressedinblood 2013-08-14 10:18 am (UTC)(link)
After taking a moment in the hallway, Anna slipped back into the room and took her seat for the last few minutes of class, hoping rather desperately that everyone would be willing to pretend that hadn't been at all odd.

She knew this was a rather unlikely hope.
dressedinblood: (Anna is pensive)

Re: Talk.

[personal profile] dressedinblood 2013-08-14 10:47 am (UTC)(link)
Anna was just going to stare at her hands. They looked normal. Normal was good. "I'm not," she said softly after a moment. And then she realized that might not be clear enough and added, "Alive."
Edited 2013-08-14 10:48 (UTC)