fandomhigh | Practical Philosophy, Monday

The sky was overcast, but the temperatures weren't terribly low and the threat of rain not so high that Ender opted to stay indoors. Instead they were out on the dorm lawn again, a bag of sandwiches sitting in what would soon be the center of a circle of students.

Before he started talking in general, he glanced towards Yeul and said, "I'd like to see you after class, please."

Then his attention shifted. "Last week, we experienced some interesting events," Ender said, only a little dry humor obvious from his tone of voice. "The peppers were a nuisance, that's for sure. I hope all of you made it through unharmed and unsinged." They usually did at Fandom-- he didn't think he spotted any major injuries.

"Now, the phones are a semi-annual problem. I've experienced that one several times since I came here. I always don't realize what is going on until I've already made a few calls of my own - and I'm always left wondering what prompted me to respond in the first place," he said. "What is it that makes us want to say something back when someone says something to us? Why can't we just let obviously confused, crazy people be?"

He shrugged. "Maybe it's because our lives are built and supported by our ability to communicate, so when someone communicates oddly at us, we're alarmed," he said. "Maybe we've just all got tempers. Maybe we're just trying to turn a freak occasion into some amusement for ourselves. Or maybe it's just human nature for the entire tribe to start shouting when one member does."

He stretched his legs out. "How was your week?" he asked.

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"I'm not saying you blow sunshine up everyone's ass all day long either, pateesa," Cade said, "but if you start conversations with how much you hate the weather, how the coffee person got your order wrong and how your roommate took the last pair of clean socks all the time no one's gonna want to stick around very long."

Sholeh found herself smiling a little at that; both at the image of literally trying to blow sunshine up someone's bottom and also at the idea of fighting over clean socks with a roommate. Wouldn't they just be worn by whoever they belonged to? She was still wary of Cade--he seemed like the type of person who could easily make her cry if he wanted to--but he was kind of funny, too.

"But sometimes people just feel badly about things. Is it still whining if it's only sometimes?"

"Oh, it's always whining," Cade proclaimed, "but sometimes you just can't karking help yourself."

"Oh," Sholeh said softly. That was what she'd feared, but Yeul and Cassidy and Mr. Wiggin had made it seem like talking to them about things that had scared or hurt her wasn't whining.

Granted, Cade had not and there was probably a good reason for that, but having her worries confirmed still stung.

"So you think it's better to just keep quiet about what is bothering you if you possibly can?"

Sholeh, do not look to Cade for life advice. Just--no.

"I always do," Cade said, poster child for mental health and clean living that he was, "but I'm not a talker to start with."

"Do you ever wish that you were?" Sholeh asked. "And that you shared?"

She was trying not to be influenced by his rather disreputable exterior, but she wasn't entirely sure he was someone to look to as a role-model.

Cade snorted. "No."

Somehow, Sholeh was completely unsurprised by that answer.

"Just checking."

Practical Philosophy, Monday

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