fandomhigh | Practical Philosophy, Monday

The sky was overcast, but the temperatures weren't terribly low and the threat of rain not so high that Ender opted to stay indoors. Instead they were out on the dorm lawn again, a bag of sandwiches sitting in what would soon be the center of a circle of students.

Before he started talking in general, he glanced towards Yeul and said, "I'd like to see you after class, please."

Then his attention shifted. "Last week, we experienced some interesting events," Ender said, only a little dry humor obvious from his tone of voice. "The peppers were a nuisance, that's for sure. I hope all of you made it through unharmed and unsinged." They usually did at Fandom-- he didn't think he spotted any major injuries.

"Now, the phones are a semi-annual problem. I've experienced that one several times since I came here. I always don't realize what is going on until I've already made a few calls of my own - and I'm always left wondering what prompted me to respond in the first place," he said. "What is it that makes us want to say something back when someone says something to us? Why can't we just let obviously confused, crazy people be?"

He shrugged. "Maybe it's because our lives are built and supported by our ability to communicate, so when someone communicates oddly at us, we're alarmed," he said. "Maybe we've just all got tempers. Maybe we're just trying to turn a freak occasion into some amusement for ourselves. Or maybe it's just human nature for the entire tribe to start shouting when one member does."

He stretched his legs out. "How was your week?" he asked.

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Or perhaps by the end of the class she would realize that Ender wasn't in the business of making judgments like that. Who knew?

"Were you armed while you were outside?" Ender asked. "Do you know hand-to-hand fighting techniques?"

...But everybody judged! Or, rather, everybody judged her. Didn't they?

"I took a class last semester in it," Sholeh said, fiddling with the lace on her dress. "I wasn't very good at it. And no weapons. I don't know how to use them, so I feel like I'd just be a bigger danger to carry something I didn't know how to use right."

Most people were much more concerned with themselves.

"Then you made the right decision," Ender said simply, "And maybe if the invasion had gone on you would've been able to contribute with your ideas."

Hey! Sholeh resembled that remark!

...Though, in her own defense at least, part of that came from growing up in a small village where certain people made it a point to be in everyone else's business. And judge them for it.

"Are--" Her next question had her screwing up her courage to ask it. It seemed rude. At the very least, presumptuous. "Are you saying that to make me feel better?" she asked. "You don't know if my ideas had any merit to them at all."

Mother's Third Eye, she was just going to curl up around herself for daring to ask that.

"I don't say anything to make anyone feel better," Ender said. Being kind in order to put someone in the right headspace to listen to the truth? Sure. Flat-out lying to make someone feel better? Never. "Frankly, that would be a waste of my time and yours."

Sholeh peered at him. head tilted slightly as she considered him, his words, his motives.

"You're not a fan of wasting time, are you." It wasn't really a question. "And you're not traditionally kind, but you're...you're honest."

"I wouldn't put you in front of an army and trust you to lead them," Ender said simply. "But I think you can celebrate taking a few steps towards learning how to respond well to a crisis. Which you did. And it's perfectly natural to feel proud and strong about it."

"If you put me in front of an army and told me to lead them, I'd probably die of fright on the spot," Sholeh said, sounding almost wry, rather than embarrassed about being lacking at something the way she'd been for most of the two classes thus far. This was an aspect of herself that she'd accepted already. "I'm more a follower than a leader, but that's not bad, right? I mean, we can't all be followers."

Zeela and Zhahar were both leaders, which meant they spent a lot of time arguing about who would be in charge.

"I think...I think I'm just still not entirely convinced I responded well to the crisis. I mean, there were students on the roof of the dorm with bows, shooting the peppers. I mostly just didn't cower and cry. I think everyone managed that much."

"You can't compare yourself to those people on the rooftops, Sholeh," Ender said, leaning forward. "You might be them some day. In fact, I consider it likely. But they didn't wake up one morning knowing what to do. They had to learn one step at a time, same as the rest of us."

"...You think it likely?" Now Sholeh was all over confusion. Zeela, sure. She could understand if Mr. Wiggin had thought that she would end up on the roof with a bow, killing nasty things, but Sholeh? What was there about Sholeh that suggested she would ever be that...

That...

That badass.

"Why?"

"Because you're going to have to if you're going to live on this island," Ender said.

You either became a badass here or you became... well, Peter. And she didn't look like a Peter.

She didn't have the desk or the requisite Wiggin humor for it.

"...That's fair," Sholeh said. It was a much better answer than if he'd said he saw some kind of spark of greatness within her. She'd wanted that to be the answer, but she wouldn't have believed it if he'd said it.

"Yeul was right then," she said, nodding. "Everyone gets over things quickly because everyone here is just used to worse."

"That's part of it," Ender agreed. "But I wouldn't recommend going out and
getting used to worse just to appease your peers."

Practical Philosophy, Monday

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