E-mail to Administration

[rushmore-yankee.livejournal.com]

TO: ADMIN@FANDOMHIGH.COM
FROM: MFISCHER@FANDOMHIGH.COM
SUBJECT: How many sick days do we get?

Dear Staff and Faculty Members:

I regret to inform you that I am going to miss all of my classes today because I don't actually know which ones I'm in because a total psychopath belted me in the face last night, breaking both my glasses (not fashion glasses, if you were wondering) and my nose. I found my laptop and am able to write this note and request help, but I'm totally incapable of finding my way to the Clinic, much less Classics I class. Kindly excuse my absence, as I am FUCKING BLIND.

Sincerely,

Max Fischer, Room 309

Comments

[sheldonjsands.livejournal.com]

Wait... being FUCKING BLIND is a valid excuse to miss classes now? *smirks*

Suck it up, Buttercup. *reg*

[rushmore-yankee.livejournal.com]

[Max hears his e-mail ding, and stares blankly at the screen. He gets really close to the screen and reads the reply letter-by-letter. He replies (yes, in all caps):]

WTF IS A *REG*, HERO? I CAN'T SEE! WHAT PART OF NOT-BEING-ABLE-TO-FIND-MY-SHOES DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?

[And then he adds another name to his Must Kill list.]

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

[ooc: Dies of laughter. Is dead.]

[game-of-you.livejournal.com]

FROM: sandman@fandomhigh.com
TO: mfischer@fandomhigh.com

Mr. Fischer,
There is no Classics today. It's Tuesday.

Dream

[rushmore-yankee.livejournal.com]

[Again, Max squints and gets really close to his screen before he can figure it out. Oh. Ha. Tuesday. Right.]

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Might as well get this over with, Parker thought, rapping impatiently at the door of 309.

[rushmore-yankee.livejournal.com]

Max opens his door without checking the peephole first. That was a mistake. Seeing Parker and recognizing her right away as the Puncher of Faces, Max takes a huge, stumbling, mother-may-I step backward into his room. Once he's got some distance, he crosses his arms protectively against his chest and tries to look like a badass. This is difficult, as Max is a little over 5'3 and about 125 pounds. He tries to channel Streetcar-era Brando but probably winds up looking a little more like a frustrated Wonder Years-era Fred Savage.

He snaps at her: "What? Come to break my back-up pair of glasses, too?"

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker studies him, and rolls her eyes. Now that she's not overcome with rage, she feels a little bad about punching him in the face, but she has no intention of saying so.

"No. I came to pay you back for the pair I broke." She opened her wallet, and flipped through a few bills. "Will two hundred dollars cover it?"

[rushmore-yankee.livejournal.com]

Max looks at the money; he considers how much more he could get out of her, potentially. Or maybe this was some kind of attempted buy-off? Maybe his double black-eyes and puffy nose would be the nail in Parker's coffin, so to speak, with the authorities. She might be paying him to keep his mouth shut.

Or... paying for him to get new glasses. He takes a step forward and accepts the money, folding it into his pocket. As soon as possible, he takes another step backward.

"That's acceptable. $200 will work. AND--"

He's helpless. It just comes out of his mouth.

"I want something else. My reputation has been severely damaged. I want recompense for it. Tell everyone you gave me a handjob."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker stares at him in disbelief. He's lucky he can't see the expression on her face, because if it didn't turn him to stone like the Medea chick, it would probably frighten him out of several year's growth.

"No way in hell." She sneers. "The only way I'll say I had my hand on your penis is if I follow it up by telling people I castrated you. You want to be known as Dickless for your entire high school career?"




_{[ooc: back later]}

[rushmore-yankee.livejournal.com]

Oh, he can see. He has his handy second-string glasses. Hence, he is horrified by her venemous expression. For, like, a second. And then he shrugs.

"Suit yourself, then. I was just going to give you a chance to redeem yourself. And prove that that bulletin board post was a lie. But don't worry about it... because, no: I don't want to be known as Dickless for the remainder of my high school career," he chirps. Smiling coldly, he adds, "You can go. Thanks for the payoff."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

This answer was weird enough to stop Parker in her tracks for a second.

"You, what?" she spluttered. "How would giving you a handjob prove anything? And why would I want to, when I could go to the clinic and get the doctors to publically post clean test results, assuming I cared that much?"

[rushmore-yankee.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. Why would you?" Max smiles. Then he nods amicably, saying: "Bye, now!"

He reaches forward and swings the door shut.

[ooc: up to you if you want to let it close and end it here, or continue on. i'm fine either way.]

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker tried to make sense out of the moron's spewings for a moment, considered talking to him again, then gave up, putting him down on her List of People to Shove in A Locker when she got the chance, before stomping off.



_{[ooc: nah, it's fine, it made no sense, she's confused enough to let it drop. :> ]}

[medusae-x.livejournal.com]

((ooc: just saw this. *ROFL*))

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

_{[ooc: Heee! Thanks. Go you with the werewolf stuff, too!]}