Pinkie Pie (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
locointhecoco) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2013-01-23 02:59 am
locointhecoco) wrote in fandomhigh2013-01-23 02:59 am
Entry tags:
Friendship 101, Wednesday, Period 2
Today's class was held in a disconcertingly empty space. We're talking fresh blank document empty. Not even any corners or possibly shadows empty. The only way you know there's a floor is because you're currently standing on it empty.
It was possible classes taught by Pinkie should come with vertigo warnings. And glitter warnings. And overly cheerful warnings.
Derek's warnings mostly involved the need to call the police for being creepy near teenagers, so. There was that too.
"Hi everypony!" Pinkie greeted at the top of the class. "You might have noticed that the classroom today is REALLY EMPTY!" Echoes were weird without visible walls. "That's 'cause we're going to talk about different places to meet friends in!"
Derek gave the class a look like they all were forcing him to be here. Forcing him into this whole... teaching thing. And he would never forgive them for it. "Like the woods," he ground out, as the vast emptiness suddenly changed to what appeared to be the creepiest, darkest forest you could imagine.
Please, no one be wearing a red hoodie today. It would be the beginning of a horrible fairy tale.
Pinkie blinked, looking around a little skeptically. "Suuuuuuuuuuuure." You knew it was weird when even the pony was non-plussed. "Or you could meet friends at the local sweetshop!" The room changed again, this time to a bright, cartoony, diabetic coma inducing bakery. "Iiiiii have samples!" She whipped out a tray of fluffy cupcakes, each with a little apple decorating the top.
It was possible she was trying to win making friends with the students.
Derek was going to ignore the cupcakes. Because he was a horrible person like that. "Or the cemetery," he grumbled as the room changed again.
What? Derek, no. No. Leave Isaac alone!
Pinkie was giving you another suspicious look, there, Derek. WHAT KINDS OF FRIENDS WERE YOU MAKING? "Or a happy little park," she said, stomping one hoof as the Danger Shop transformed again. Birds sang and flitted through the sun-dappled trees.
"Or a bar," Derek grumbled, not at all acknowledging his issues there, Pinkie Pie. The room did not change into a bar, though. Instead, it changed into a boy's locker room. Yeah. "I didn't design this."
YOUR HEART DID, DEREK.
Pinkie didn't even know what it was. "This doesn't look like your bar," she whispered really loudly.
He noticed that, Pinkie! "Just change it," Derek gritted out.
Pinkie nodded, her rarely seen Serious Face on, then stuck out her tongue and started tapping her front hooves on the floor in a complex pattern. The Danger Shop started to shift, only to let out a burst of holographic static. The entire room strobed in and out a few times, flipping rapidly from location to location, before finally settling.
Into a darkly shaded, tree filled cemetery with delicate curling bridges and free standing blue lockers set up next to purple cafe tables covered in plates of inviting-looking cupcakes.
"Uh," said Pinkie, looking around confused. "I think we broke it."
Several cupcakes from a nearby table took to the air on tiny, frosted bat wings and started flapping around the students.
"FRIENDS!" they shouted. "FRIENDS! GRRRRRR!"
Well, this is what you got from a class taught by Derek and Pinkie Pie, kids. If you expected anything better, you were very wrong.
"UM!" said Pinkie, from where she was now cowering under one of the tables with her front hooves over her head. "Talk about the places where you like to meet friends!" A cupcake bat landed on her nose and wrapped its wings around her ear in a cupcakey hug.
"FRIEEEEENDS," it said. "GRRRRRR!"
It was possible classes taught by Pinkie should come with vertigo warnings. And glitter warnings. And overly cheerful warnings.
Derek's warnings mostly involved the need to call the police for being creepy near teenagers, so. There was that too.
"Hi everypony!" Pinkie greeted at the top of the class. "You might have noticed that the classroom today is REALLY EMPTY!" Echoes were weird without visible walls. "That's 'cause we're going to talk about different places to meet friends in!"
Derek gave the class a look like they all were forcing him to be here. Forcing him into this whole... teaching thing. And he would never forgive them for it. "Like the woods," he ground out, as the vast emptiness suddenly changed to what appeared to be the creepiest, darkest forest you could imagine.
Please, no one be wearing a red hoodie today. It would be the beginning of a horrible fairy tale.
Pinkie blinked, looking around a little skeptically. "Suuuuuuuuuuuure." You knew it was weird when even the pony was non-plussed. "Or you could meet friends at the local sweetshop!" The room changed again, this time to a bright, cartoony, diabetic coma inducing bakery. "Iiiiii have samples!" She whipped out a tray of fluffy cupcakes, each with a little apple decorating the top.
It was possible she was trying to win making friends with the students.
Derek was going to ignore the cupcakes. Because he was a horrible person like that. "Or the cemetery," he grumbled as the room changed again.
What? Derek, no. No. Leave Isaac alone!
Pinkie was giving you another suspicious look, there, Derek. WHAT KINDS OF FRIENDS WERE YOU MAKING? "Or a happy little park," she said, stomping one hoof as the Danger Shop transformed again. Birds sang and flitted through the sun-dappled trees.
"Or a bar," Derek grumbled, not at all acknowledging his issues there, Pinkie Pie. The room did not change into a bar, though. Instead, it changed into a boy's locker room. Yeah. "I didn't design this."
YOUR HEART DID, DEREK.
Pinkie didn't even know what it was. "This doesn't look like your bar," she whispered really loudly.
He noticed that, Pinkie! "Just change it," Derek gritted out.
Pinkie nodded, her rarely seen Serious Face on, then stuck out her tongue and started tapping her front hooves on the floor in a complex pattern. The Danger Shop started to shift, only to let out a burst of holographic static. The entire room strobed in and out a few times, flipping rapidly from location to location, before finally settling.
Into a darkly shaded, tree filled cemetery with delicate curling bridges and free standing blue lockers set up next to purple cafe tables covered in plates of inviting-looking cupcakes.
"Uh," said Pinkie, looking around confused. "I think we broke it."
Several cupcakes from a nearby table took to the air on tiny, frosted bat wings and started flapping around the students.
"FRIENDS!" they shouted. "FRIENDS! GRRRRRR!"
Well, this is what you got from a class taught by Derek and Pinkie Pie, kids. If you expected anything better, you were very wrong.
"UM!" said Pinkie, from where she was now cowering under one of the tables with her front hooves over her head. "Talk about the places where you like to meet friends!" A cupcake bat landed on her nose and wrapped its wings around her ear in a cupcakey hug.
"FRIEEEEENDS," it said. "GRRRRRR!"
Re: Make friends with cupcake bats
Re: Make friends with cupcake bats
It was possible it thought he was going to pet it. Or that it recognized the fact of its existence as a cupcake meant being eaten.
It was also possible that one shouldn't look too closely into the motivations of flying pastries.
Re: Make friends with cupcake bats
"Okay, just for the record I wouldn't be doing this if you weren't some simulation the room made up. If you were part of some actual cupcake bat tribe I would respect you and your people and wouldn't try to eat you." He just needed to let that be known. "As it is, I haven't had breakfast and I'm starving. And don't scream or anything, that's weird."
Because he was going to eat you now, little cupcake bat. Or at least try to. Sorry.
Re: Make friends with cupcake bats
It was chocolate, with a cream center.
Re: Make friends with cupcake bats
He was a disgusting human being, yes.