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Jono Starsmore ([personal profile] furnaceface) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2013-01-11 08:41 am
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Fandom Invasions: A Survival Guide- Friday, Period One

How were they all up at such an ungodly hour? That looked more or less to be the expression that Jono was wearing as he dragged himself, sans crutches, into the classroom. There were, sometimes, benefits to having pushy healers as friends, yes. Added benefits were the ability to hold things in both hands, because he was carrying a coffee in one, and his lesson plan in the other, like any healthy two-thumbed primate should.

"Good morning, class," he greeted as he set his coffee on the desk and tossed his lesson plan into the recycling bin. "I'm Jonothon Starsmore, and those of you who have been in my class before should know by now to just call me Jono. It doesn't look like there are any students in the room who are new to Fandom and its weirdness, so I'm not going to bother addressing why I'm blue, and I'm fairly certain you've all seen an invasion or two around here as well, so that makes my job today at least somewhat simpler. Still, I'm going to bore you for a moment with a lecture about them all the same. You're welcome."

Look, he hadn't finished his coffee yet. He was allowed to snark at least a little bit, this early in the day.

"This island, as we are all aware, is a little... off. I'm sure most of you know what it's like to have your gender switched about, or to wake up as a small child. And, while the dodos were the most dangerous thing to invade last semester, you've likely all been warned about bigger, more deadly threats to the island, as well. Umbridge would be one, for those who were here during the summertime. And there was a thing with some hallucinogenic fog and some half-monkey, half-pony monsters back when I was a student here that I'm certain none of you would remember."

Thus making Jonothon feel old. Thanks, kids.

"The point is, there doesn't seem to be any upper limit to the sort of nasty things that hit the island, and if you're planning on staying here until you graduate, odds are high that you'll have to deal with something more fearsome than a pack of mind-addled extinct Madagascar birds somewhere along the way. I obviously can't prepare you for any eventuality - you can't exactly remember what you've been taught in this class if time gets undone and re-written again, for example - but I hope to be able to give you all at least a foundation for getting through future invasions in one piece."

He leaned back against his desk and had himself a mouthful of coffee. Mmm, coffee.

"Today, however, we're going to embrace that time-honoured first week tradition, and go around the room and introduce ourselves, mostly to give me an idea of what I need to focus on this semester. I'd like your name, class, any experience you might have with invasion situations, or, alternatively, what sort of skills you have that you can put to use when all hell breaks loose. For example, I'm Jono, Fandom High alumni and the teacher of this class, and I've seen more invasions and near-ends-of-the-world than I hope any of you will ever have to, between here, the home realities of friends of mine, and back in my own. I don't have any powers these days, but you pick up a thing or two about soldiering after playing hero in a world that hates and fears you. I can hold my own in a fight without being able to blow up small buildings with my face, thank you."

He wrinkled his nose a bit. God, he hated that 'hates and fears' line, but it got the message across well enough.

"Your turn. Name, class, experience, and skills that you bring to the table. We'll start on the useful stuff next week." A beat. "And Sholeh, congratulations, you're my TA this semester. Please, contain your joy."

[Open!]