fandomhigh | Friendship 101, Wednesday, Period 2

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friendship

Friendship 101, Wednesday, Period 2

Pinkie had the Danger Shop programmed to resemble a bucolic field, almost cartoon-like in its bright cheerfulness, full of lush green grass and tiny pink and purple flowers.

At one end of the field was a copse of trees, behind which lurked a slightly dilapidated creepy shack.

Pinkie was willing to make some concessions to Derek's personal style. Because Pinkie was nice like that. Unlike the other teacher there.

The moment class was scheduled to begin, the Danger Shop doors slid shut (hope no one was late on their first day), and a breeze kicked up, making the tiny flowers sway and dance. A vibrant pink, purple, and yellow hot air balloon drifted over the gathered students and slowly, as if by magic, came to a gentle landing on a clear patch of grass. Pinkie leaned over the side of the basket, madly waving her hooves. Derek glowered. As was his wont. Pinkie leaped from the basket, struck a pose, and without further ado, began to sing:

"You are all our students, YAY!
You make us shout hip hip hooRAY!
So we will start our class today,
with a happy, happy song!*
TAKE IT, DEREK!"

Pinkie jumped to the side, tossing a top hat and black cane at Derek. Both of which were watched as they fell to the floor after hitting him. Because Derek was not meant for musical theater, kids. Terribly sorry about that.

"Hi." That was downright cheerful for him!

Pinkie blinked. Then started applauding. "Let's hear it for Derek Hale, fillies and gentlecolts!" When the applause died down -- or, well, hers did, anyway -- Pinkie threw her hooves in the air again and beamed at the students. "And I'm Pinkie Pie! And this. . . ." Was that an actual drum roll? ". . . is FRIENDSHIP 101!"

Derek rubbed his forehead for a moment, as though to clear his thoughts of all the insanity that went hand in hand with Pinkie. "If you're in the wrong class, leave now." Like he wished he could... "If not, introduce yourselves."

He was going about this all wrong. Pinkie should have made him rehearse.

"You could tell us your name!" she said. "Ooo! And your favorite color. And OH OH OH! Tell us about your bestest friend in the WHOOOOOLE wide multiverse! That'll be fun, right, Derek?"

"Sure." Loads of fun for all!

"Ooo, and we could use some TAs." Pinkie nodded seriously. "TAing for Friendship is very important work."

* tune unknown. Feel free to make it up yourself!

[ooc: cowritten with the delightful

justlurkinghere, natch]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Purple.

Yes, of course. "Eh, no? Humans are all within a range of skin tone, but that's because our skin reacts to the Sun differently; we generally get darker when the Sun is stronger. There are no green humans or purple ones." She was trying to be polite, she really was.

"There are blue ones," Pinkie said.

Actually, she was an alien. But Pinkie hadn't really worked out the subtleties of humanoid species, yet.

"I think those just looks human, but I haven't seen any yet." She would probably stare at Liara for a while once she found her, yes. "But no, not human. I mean, there are other four legged species in your world right? And those aren't horses. Or ponies."

She was probably going to need to talk to the snarky counselor afterwards.

"Oh sure! There are goats and sheep and cows and buffalo and deer and zebras and everything." Pretty much, if it had hooves, it was sentient. "And dogs and cats and bears and alligators and dragons and gryphons and donkeys and. . . ."

This might go on for awhile.

"And they are not ponies right?" Emily just cut her off. A bit rudely, even. She didn't need to know about every single thing that lived in Pinkie's world.

"Well, same with the blue people and humans."

"Spike's pretty much an honorary pony," Pinkie mused. "And he's a dragon. And we still call everypony 'everypony'."

"But you see my point, right?" This shouldn't be this complicated, pink pony or not. "And you call them that? Really?" Was it some sort of pun?

"Of course! Not being ponies doesn't make them any less members of Equestrian society."

It was all some sort of pun when it came to Pinkie's universe. Go ahead, ask her some of the place names.

"Very kind of the ponies," muttered Emily to herself. And she was going to ask, because Emily didn't want to talk about anything related to the course. Also, diverting conversations was a skill she had to master.

"So, the name of your country is Equestria? Is there a theme or something?"

"Like what?" Pinkie asked.

It should also be noted that ponies were entirely unaware of how punny their society was.

"Like...how's the rest of the places in your world called?"

That just made them extra annoying for some people? And terribly cute for others.

Yeah, Pinkie still didn't get what she was getting at. "Well, there's all sorts of places. There's cities like Fillydelphia or Manehattan and small towns like Appleoosa and Ponyville and then there's the other spots like the Everfree Forest or Ghastly Gorge. And then there's places like Cloudsdale, which is the Pegasus city, or Canterlot which is mostly unicorns, and Ponyville was founded by the Earth ponies but now most everypony lives there!"

That was basically all Emily needed to know though. "I see. It sounds like an...interesting place to live." That made her think of another question. "Wait, and the humans?"

"Oh, we don't have any of those. When I first got here, I thought you were all hairless bears."

No humans? Well well well.

"So you ponies get everything done? How different are things over there? Buildings, methods of transportation...wealth?" All the important things, perhaps? Emily couldn't help noticing they had no hands.

Oh honey. You'd see just how little they let that stop them soon enough.

Pinkie tilted her head, her tongue sticking out slightly as she considered this question. "No, they mostly look like stuff does here. You humans do a whole lot of stuff the pony way. Though you're way more into chaos than ponies are."

"R-really?" Allow her to be surprised, if not a bit skeptic. Then again, Pinkie was anything but calm in the middle of this world, so that beg to question how similar hers was. Not too similar, but maybe similar enough.

Emily decided she was getting all kinds of useless information in this island.

"A human would say you ponies do it the human way, you know?"

Pinkie shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. But I'm a pony."

"And you're pink!" Maybe she lost her cool just a bit when she said that. "I guess I shouldn't really try to understand, should I."

"I guess not!" Pinkie said cheerfully, though she had no idea why a pink pony might be upsetting, or what there was to understand or not understand.

Emily made her best attempt not to lose her mind. But Pinkie Pie was still there.

"Tell me about, uh, Derek I guess? It's a very... intriguing couple, you two?"

Pinkie laughed delightedly. "Oh, we're not a couple!" Ewww, why would she be interested in a human? "We're just good friends. We met at the bar he works at in town, and we hang out there almost every week!"

Yes, that was mostly because Derek was a captive audience there. BUT HE'D BEEN NICE TO HER WHEN SHE WAS A DEPRESSED BABY PONY.

Emily didn't even meant it that way and now she had horrible mental images nobody should ever have. Ever. GOOD WORK PINKIE PIE.

"I...know. You have to admit you two kind of...clash though." Emily knew nothing of baby ponies and she certainly wasn't about to risk getting feelings over her for the sake of learning about it.

"Oh, he's just kind of grumpy," Pinkie said fondly. "He actually reminds me of my friend Doodle."

Yankee Doodle Donkey would be rolling over in his grave, were he dead.

"Is he tall, serious and a bit intimidating?" And called Doodle? Come on.

Friendship 101, Wednesday, Period 2

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