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Library, Thursday All Day

Evan hadn't been paranoid, per se, as he walked into the library for his shift. It was just that it had been a while since the books had done something really crazy on his watch, and he wasn't about to let himself get comfortable while there was still a chance of things going crazy on him while he was working.

At least he didn't have to wait long before he noticed what the weirdness of the day was. The books had set up a sort of speedway down the aisles, and all manner of books about car racing were competing to see who was the fastest read.

A very pink book containing tips and tricks for playing the arcade game, Sugar Rush, was definitely giving the rest of the books a run for their money, today.

"Just so long as you guys put yourselves away when you're done," Evan decided, and then settled back to watch the races.

[Open, but flying without OCD because I'm not battling with the goat any more than necessary this morning.]

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"I think... maybe it would make you a good person who didn't know what else to do," Evan offered. "But I think maybe it would be... really important to be careful about that lie?"

He had no idea. He still wasn't much of a liar, himself.

"What do you mean 'careful'?" Sholeh asked, head tilting. "Careful about what?"

"Careful that it doesn't hurt anybody," Evan replied, simply enough. "Because that's... kind of what lies do, isn't it?"

"I suppose," Sholeh said. "But what if a lie that accidentally hurts somebody is there to protect other people? Is there a hurt-to-protect ratio? Kant tries to make it sound easy, but I don't think it is."

"When it really matters most, it's usually never easy," Evan agreed with a shrug of his shoulders as he quietly sorted through the books she'd returned. "I guess from there you kind of have to take things like broken trust into consideration. If a person catches you in the middle of a lie, they're not going to be terribly likely to give you the benefit of the doubt again, either. Which... maybe doesn't matter too much in some situations, but if lying is as habit-forming as my Pa always told me, it could become an issue later on."

One lie did beget others. Sholeh could attest to that. It wasn't that it was a habit, exactly, but lying about one major thing meant that you had to start lying about anything that was associated with it.

"In class, we had to convince someone to lie on our behalf to protect us," she said quietly. "I think if I found out that someone lied to me to protect other people, I wouldn't say my trust was broken. They weren't lying because it was fun or to profit or get out of trouble. I think that would be different."

Wishful thinking? Maybe.

"It.... might be different," Evan replied, not sounding completely certain, but at least trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. "I don't know, though. I mean, I've never really been in a situation like that. I... I have to stay away from home in order to keep my family safe, but I don't really have to lie about that."

"Would you, though?" Sholeh asked. "Would you lie to them to keep them safe? Even from someone like me, who presumably wouldn't be a threat anyway?" She gave him a weak smile. "This is why I like philosophy, you know? Because you can keep asking questions."

You offer that thin excuse, Sholeh. And try to pretend it's not a lie.

That weak smile had Evan starting to doubt, Sholeh.

"To... keep my parents safe? I know I would fight. But I don't think I'd be any good at lying. I don't exactly have any practice at it. I think... I think I would be too afraid of messing it up and putting them in more danger, somehow."

He was already resigned to never seeing them again. He didn't want to be the one to kill them, too.

"But there are so many different ways something could happen, I can't really say for sure what I would do, unless something did."

"That's the hard part," Sholeh conceded. "Or, err, at least it seems that way to me. If you're a really good liar, then you probably have a lot more practice and aren't just lying because you have to. If you're bad at it, you're probably doing it for a good reason, but...you're still bad at it. It's like there's no way to win."

"If you're a really good liar, you're probably not the greatest person ever, either," Evan pointed out. "Maybe... being bad at it but looking for another, better way to do things is the best option?"

Again, he sounded tentative. He really hadn't been in that situation, he couldn't know for sure.

Sholeh shrugged. "Sometimes there just isn't another option, I think. Like in Ethics class, people were got to choose whether they hid a fugitive and lie about it, or turning the fugitive in. If you were caught harboring one, you'd die too--but the fugitives weren't criminals or anything. So, other than not helping, what other option is there but lie? Except maybe try to fight off the whole police force or something."

"I would probably have tried to fight off the police force," Evan admitted, fidgeting a little more. "I can't lie, but I know I can fight."

Which really wasn't the point of the Ethics lesson at all, was it?

"But not everyone can fight," Sholeh pointed out. "I can't. If I was trying to hide you, wouldn't you rather I tried to lie?"

"I wouldn't want anybody to be responsible for my well-being like that," Evan countered, blinking at her. "And I definitely wouldn't want to risk them killing you because you lied for my sake, Sholeh."

It was possible that Evan was going to stubborn his way through this conversation by clinging to the morals his parents had taught him like a lifeline, yes.

WELL EVAN'S STUPID MORALS WERE MAKING SHOLEH FEEL BADLY ABOUT HERSELF! DAMMIT, EVAN!

"You'd rather me watch as they tried to kill you in my house?!" Sholeh squawked. "Are you crazy? Of course I would try to help and then I'd just end up getting killed, too, because the best I could do was throw books at people!"

And not even that hard, out of fear of hurting the books!

"Then leave the fighting to the fighters," Evan replied, flailing the tiniest bit. "I've been trained to deal with villains! You don't have to throw books, just stay out of the way and stay safe!"

Because Evan would blow them up! Doubly hard if they insulted Kansas somehow!

"But that wasn't an option!" Sholeh argued. "And fighting isn't always the right answer anyway! You deal with these guys and then more will come! It's a whole country of bad guys! You can't fight off a whole country!"

Well, actually, Sholeh...

"A whole country? People like me have been fighting off a whole world for years!"

Note, people like him. Evan hadn't actually had to fight any mutant-hating human bigots yet, personally.

Give it time.

"All by yourself?" Sholeh scoffed. "You could just fight off a whole country? By yourself? Right now?"

"Why would I want to!?" Evan was looking torn somewhere between utterly confused and a little frustrated, now. "I would try if I had to, though. Who's trying to hurt you, Sholeh?"

It kind of seemed like the thing to ask, considering how adamant she was being about the way he ought to be answering.

"Nobody yet, so long as I don't tell!"

And then clapped a hand over her mouth. That had not been the right thing to say. Nope, not at all.

"I mean, nobody. It's just how we did it...in class..."

Nope, definitely not. And now Evan was looking at her with eyes full of worry.

"... Somebody's making you lie?"

Your class excuse wasn't going to hold up after that outburst, Sholeh. Sorry.

"Nobody's making me," Sholeh said stubbornly. "I'm doing it because I want to."

Except, wait, no. That sounded horrible.

"Not want-want. I don't like it." Because she'd already said too much already, she might as well just admit to some of it. "But I'm doing it because I have to. Because I can't fight and this is the only way to keep people I love safe." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Evan. "So now you can judge me and call me a liar if you want to."

"I'm not going to call you a liar," Evan murmured, sighing and bunching his shoulders a little under the weight of her glare. "I'm just going to worry. And offer any help I possibly can... I mean... if there's ever anything to do. I..."

Deep breath, and Evan found himself not quite able to look up.

"I haven't seen my family since last winter, and I'll never see them again, in order to keep them safe. And I miss them. I miss them so much. So... I know how hard it can be, having their safety in your hands like that."

Library, Thursday All Day

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