fandomhigh | How To Not Do Things, Thursday, Period One

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How To Not Do Things, Thursday, Period One

Today, the Danger Shop was set up to resemble a large suburban mall. Apart from the extra-wide escalators, the cluster of no fewer than five Sweetums shops on the second floor, and the somewhat sketchy-looking signs directing shoppers to the 'SPAwnee' relaxation center across the street, it looked like a perfectly ordinary shopping center.

"This is a mall," April said, just in case she had any space kids in her class or something. "You all have to pick one of the stores to hypothetically work at. You guys have forty minutes to wander around and decide on the one that you think would be the least amount of effort, then meet at the Sweetums next to Build-a-Bear and discuss."

Mmm, Sweetums.

"Go."

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Eating!

Yes, you really get to wander around a mall for class.

Edited 2012-11-08 17:05 (UTC)

You can actually shop in the simulation, if you so choose. Or go right to the food court or the arcade. April really couldn't care less.

"Kay," April said when the group had congregated back at Sweetums, where she'd been nice enough to get everyone candy bars. "Where would be the best place to work?" She pointed at someone at random. "You. Start."

As one does.

Wheeee.

Jeremy Darling

Juliet Darling

Bucky Katt

Bucky found the Brookstone, curled up on one of their massage chair floor models, and fell asleep.

Maeby Fünke

Maeby was going for the Sweetums shops. And getting enormous bags of candy. This class ruled.

"The spa place," Maeby said. "Because then you can get away with moving really slowly, because people yelling and in a hurry are harshing the Zen of the place. And possibly go get a facial and hope no one realizes you're an employee."

Sparkle

"Build-a-Bear right here," Sparkle replied, nodding over his shoulder at it. "What do you do all day? Dress up teddy bears and fill them with fluff? And traumatize the little kids by throwing teddy bear hearts at them. What's 'work' about that?"

He could have said one of the clothing stores? But he doubted any of them had burn barrels.

"Yeah, but it's a kids' store," April reminded him. "You could get peed on, dude."

"I like that thinking," April said with a nod. "But you might be stuck with spa perfume smell for life."

"I had siblings," Sparkle replied, shrugging. "I know how to scare a kid off if he's the annoying pee-on-you type."

... In case one couldn't tell by looking.

"And the kid's mom too, when she comes over to complain at you?" April was just looking out for Sparkle here!

"Yep," Sparkle agreed. "It's called, 'Mall Security.'"

Was that not how it worked? Did Sparkle look like he cared?

"Huh." Well, she couldn't fault you there, Sparks. "I like it."

"Better that than smelled like French fries," Maeby said with a shudder. "Or the chocolate from the banana stand."

Seriously, fuck the banana stand.

"There's a banana stand?" That sounded like a shit business model if April had ever heard one. In her humble opinion, anyway. "The hell?"

"Not here," Maeby explained. "Back home. This ... family tradition thing. You have to stand inside this huge wooden banana and there wasn't even any AC for the longest time. It sucked."

(sorry zomg I was watching your canon. and then rewatching it.)

"...Nothing that counts as family time should ever involve huge wooden bananas," April said, just because that needed to be put on the table right away. "And that's disgusting. Ugh. Wow."

She seriously felt bad for you, Maeby.

"I know, right?" Maeby said. "Apparently it's the only bit of the business that Pop-Pop wasn't stealing money from."

Yeah. All things considered, George Bluth was probably laundering money through it, instead. There was a reason he was in jail.

"...How much money can frozen bananas really make?"

Oh, April. THERE WAS ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND.

Richie Ryan

"How about the arcade?" Richie suggested. "Might have to yell at some kids once in a while but I bet you can get paid to play games at least part of the time."

April considered it. "Loud, though," she pointed out. "Can you deal with arcade music all day?"

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How To Not Do Things, Thursday, Period One

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