fandomhigh | Living on the Outskirts, Friday, Period 2

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living on the outskirts

Living on the Outskirts, Friday, Period 2

"Once upon a time," Jono said, speaking without preamble as he walked into the classroom looking fairly well-rested, even if he smelled a little like Mr. Clean, "there was this bloke who didn't stand a chance in hell of fitting in, back home. He was, on top of being a little antisocial to start with, a mutant, hated and feared by humanity because his genes were a little different. And, beyond that... Well..." He held up a photo of himself in his X-Men days for the classroom to see, face unwrapped and fire twisting violently around him. "... Frankly, he was a little terrifying. Even other mutants, people with the same problems as him, shrank away from him as though he was a monster."

He managed to deliver that line in a fairly cavalier sort of way. It still stung, but the point was mostly moot, these days.

"And then, through an accident of fate or by the power of Fandom or after tripping into some strange sentient mist - don't ask - he found his way here. Here, surrounded by humans, aliens, mutants, fairies... So many people who were other, it was probably absurd of him to assume that they'd consider him all that different in the first place. He continued to be standoffish, continued to assume that there was no way anybody here could come to accept him as anything but what the people back home made plainly clear they saw him as.

"And then he found love. He found love twice, actually, both times with people who weren't quite normal themselves, and both times with young women that only cared to see him for who he was, not what he was. He had a hand in saving the day right alongside people that he's still proud to this day to have known as friends. Hell, he was even voted Prom King the year he graduated, and he's still half-convinced that the entire senior class had been drinking the spiked punch a little early when that decision came about."

He smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"The point is, even when he went home, he held on to that. He was still a mutant, still different in a way that wasn't going to ever let him really fit in, but he wasn't entirely so hesitant to let himself be happy, either. And if, to this day, the only regrets he really has are the result of things that are well beyond his control, well... then his time here wasn't a complete waste, and it's really no wonder he ultimately chose to come back here to teach this class, is it?"

Come on. Like you didn't see that one coming, kids.

"So, how about you lot? Any 'oh, I'm actually not as alone as I thought I was' stories to share about this place since you came here? You don't have to go quite as in-depth as I did. I hardly expect visual aides or anything. But I suspect I'm not the only one in this room who was surprised to find that I belonged somewhere, after being so resigned to the prospect of spending the rest of my life hated, feared, and hunted for what I was."

[Open! Sharing and caring time is now!]

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Mercy looked at Jono, took a really deep breath, stood up, and shifted.

In seconds there was a coyote backing out of a pile of clothes. She stood there a moment, shivering a little from nerves, then grabbed the clothes, slipped out the door and came back in as herself again.

"So... I'm a walker. I started turning into a coyote in my crib when I was a baby. It was too much for my mom to deal with so I ended up in Montana with a pack of werewolves."

She was trying really hard to sound calm about it all, but she was definitely a little shaky. "Wolves kill coyotes who intrude on their territory in nature, so things weren't always great and they spent a lot of time shoving my face in the fact that I wasn't pack and didn't belong. A couple of them tried to kill me on more than one occasion. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't all bad, some of it was great, but I never fit.

"Then I got sent away - sent back to my mom's and found out she had another family. They didn't even know I existed either. They were good to me, but there was no way I could be myself there - not and fit in at all - so I ended up here. And I think maybe I found somewhere I can fit. If I'm brave enough."

She sat down, then stood back up again quickly. "Technically, I'm not allowed to talk about this - they can kill me if it gets out in my world, like literally kill me, so if we can keep it in Fandom, I'd appreciate it."

"Anything and everything that you say in confidence in my classroom, stays in my classroom unless you're the one who takes it out of it," Jonothon replied, turning a look at the other students in the room that had more than a little bit of steel behind it.

Did anyone in the room want to test that? They'd regret it. End of story.

"And I have faith in you, Mercy. It took courage to get up and show people here what you've been hiding for so long. And I've seen you show backbone before. You should be proud, luv."

Mercy felt unaccountably teary and choked up at his words, so it took her a minute before she could say anything.

"I don't mind if they say anything outside of the classroom," she said, managing a not-quite teary half-smile for Jono. If she was going to do this, she might as well do it. "Just, not in public in any modern Earth type worlds in case they're mine."

"And I don't mind answering any questions anybody has about it - now or another time."

Sholeh gasped and stared. She'd never seen anyone that could do that! She was caught on the edge of amazement and trepidation.

"Are--are you--" Sholeh realized at the last moment that asking if someone was a demon might be rude, even if it were phrased, 'are you a demon, too?' "What does being a walker mean?"

There. That was a good compromise.

"I'm not entirely human, if that's what you're asking," Mercy said. "Only half. A walker, well, I can shift into a coyote whenever I want, and I have some enhanced senses, like smell and hearing- especially when I'm in coyote form. And I'm fast."

She shrugged, still shaking a bit from nerves. "Other than that I'm just normal. I don't have superstrength or healing or anything like the werewolves do."

"I don't know anything about werewolves or werecoyotes or werewalkers or, umm, anything at all," Sholeh said quickly, not wanting to accidentally insult Mercy. "So I'm just curious how it all works. I...I don't mean to offend."

"I'm not a were anything," mercy said with a half-smile. "Believe me, they're quick enough to point that out at every opportunity. But it's okay, you didn't offend me at all. I figure if I'm going to do this, I'm going to doit, so I'll answer whatever anyone wants to know."

Sholeh was relieved to hear that she hadn't caused offence and darted a quick smile Mercy's way. "So what's the difference between a walker and a...were? What is a were, anyway? Why don't they let you forget that you're different? Are there lots of weres in other places? Why is it a secret? What--?"

*Breathe, Sholeh,* Zhahar chided. *Don't scare her off.*

"Sorry," she said a moment later. "Sometimes I get so curious, I forget to be polite."

For the first time since she'd started this whole show and tell, Mercy really smiled. Sholeh's curiousity actually made her feel a little better.

"I've never actually met another walker, so the information I have isn't that complete, I'm sure," she explained. "It's a sort of Native American supernatural creature. I was born this way. Werewolves shift into wolves and they have to be made." Except for Charles, but she wasn't going to get into that now.

"You have to be horribly savaged by a werewolf to become one. In the pack I lived with once a year anyone who hoped to become one could present themselves to try. A lot of them died, especially the women." Like her foster mother.

"The women can't have kids because, unlike mine, their shift is long and painful. I can, so that automatically made the female werewolves unhappy with me." To put it lightly. "And like I said, wolves kill coyotes in nature, so their instincts are to want to drive me away or kill me. Since they couldn't... And well, I'm also outside the pack structure and in that society rank is everything. I had none, so..."

"And for the last... if humans knew werewolves existed, they'd just see them as monsters and try to wipe them out. The werewolves would have to fight back to defend themselves and that would just be ugly. So they're only allowed to tell their spouses once they're married."

"Ooooh," Sholeh said, her hand twitching like she wished she were taking notes. "This is fascinating! Except the people dying part. That's sad."

And it was! It just...sort of didn't make it any less fascinating. It might have made it moreso, considering the element of tragedy.

"Do you know where walkers and coyotes come from?" she asked. "I mean, their origins? Are there any stories or legends about that? And while I understand that wolves don't like coyotes, but...aren't coyotes pack animals, too? Once they grumpily accepted you, couldn't they find a way to fit you into the structure? Or am I confused about how that works?"

Mercy shook her head. "I'm not sure anyone knows where they came from - either of them," she admitted. "But there are lots of stories and legends about werewolves, even among the humans who think it's all just fiction."

"Coyotes are pack animals, but the packs are smaller and might just be a female and her pups. They're structured like a wolf pack, but they're a lot more adaptable. Werewolves are much more aggressively territorial than even real wolves. And there's magic that makes them pack, so even if they'd wanted to take in an outsider, it wouldn't work."

"That sounds lonely," Sholeh said without thinking, then crimsoned and clapped her hand over her mouth. "Sorry." The words were muffled. "Sometimes I talk before I think--and forget to be polite again."

"No, you're right," Mercy said. "It was lonely. Really lonely sometimes. My foster parents were great till they died, but the next two years were pretty hard."

Sholeh winced again. "I can't imagine that," she said, all honesty. "Not having any family to be there with you and not feeling like you belong at the same time...I'm glad you're here at Fandom. Umm, I mean, I know it's not my place to say or anything! It just sounds like you might have found people here to trust and care for you.""

Mercy felt her eyes welling up again. "Thanks, Sholeh. I hope I have."

Sholeh noticed Mercy had tears in her eyes and rushed to hand over a hanky. It was one of her own, embroidered with an SZZ in the corner. "I'm sorry!" she said, a little frantic. "I didn't mean to make you cry!"

"No, no, it's okay," Mercy said, rubbing at her face. "Just I've been so scared about telling people and everyone's being so nice to me."

"I can imagine what that must be like," Sholeh said softly. "It's been laying on you, this big heavy weight that you've had to drag around and it makes you lie to people and even if you don't lie you still can't be completely honest with them and you feel ashamed of yourself for not being truthful and you feel like you might be ashamed of who you are and that feels doubly awful and..."

Sholeh realized that she might be getting a little too specific here.

"At least, that's how I imagine it must feel," she finished lamely.

That was pretty much exactly what it was like. She nodded. "You're right." And there was some sort of scent she couldn't quite place, maybe as if the words meant even more than they'd appeared.

"I'm so tired of hiding who and what I am."

Re: Discuss!

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Re: Discuss!

walkswithcoyote - 2012-11-04 03:22 (UTC) - Expand

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Re: Discuss!

walkswithcoyote - 2012-11-04 03:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discuss!

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Re: Discuss!

walkswithcoyote - 2012-11-04 14:00 (UTC) - Expand

Yeul thought that Mercedes must have been the most adorable baby coyote ever once upon a time.

That was hardly the sort of thing to bring up right now though. "I think," she said softly, almost diffidently, "that people will look out for you and keep your secret here."

Oh, she totally was!

Mercy smiled at her gratefully. "I think so, too," she said quietly. "Jono helped me see that and be brave enough. And I'm sorry I didn't tell people sooner. I just - I was half scared and half not sure I wasn't going to just try hard to get rid of or ignore my coyote side."

"I thought it would make things easier - and I think it would have in the short run, but in the long run it would have been like killing or crippling a part of me."

She'd been thinking about all of this a lot since she and Jono had talked.

"I do not think you have anything to be sorry for," Yeul said honestly. "You had to decide what was best for you and that takes time. As long as you are happy with your decision, that is the most important thing."

"I am," Mercy said, squaring her shoulders. "I'm just - really scared too. It's not the first time I've defied a werewolf, but it's the first time I've done something they'd kill me for if they found out."

"The odds of them reaching you on the island are very low," Yeul said reassuringly.

She would not lie and say there was no chance of it happening. There was always a chance.

"Bran won't care if I tell people here. Probably." Mercy bit her lip. "I should be fine as long as it doesn't get out in my world. I'm not pack, so technically I'm not bound by their rules, so as long as I don't do anything that exposes them..."

She shifted uncertainly. "That's my hope anyway."

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