fandomhigh | Yakko's World, Thursday, Period 2

If you had been in a Yakko class before, you probably knew it wasn't a big deal to see class not begin immediately after the bell. It just meant there was something planned.

Sure enough, after a couple minutes, the dry erase board went loose at the top and fell over to act as a ramp as Yakko rode a large globe out of the wall.

"And now..." a mysterious announcer voice said, "your class, taught by Yakko Warner!" Some potentially familiar music started playing the dry erase board flipped shut and Yakko rolled the globe back into its proper location in front of the board.

He put on his professor's cap, grabbed a pointer, and pointed at the US on the globe. "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu--"

The music topped suddenly. "--uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu are here today to learn about geography."

"Okay, how many of you actually expected a song? C'mon, hand's up. That one's kind of My Thing, so it would be a little hokey to sing it. Just because it fits the topic. And shares a name with the class."

"Anyway, hi! How are you? I'm Yakko Warner, but you can just call me Yakko, Professor, Professor Warner, Professor Yakko, Professor Igmund, Samuel Clemens, Jojo who thought he was a loner, His Royal Highness..." and he kept listing names and titles for a solid minute. "But seriously, you can just call me Yakko. Or Professor. Or Professor Warner. Or..." And then he went through it again.

Five minutes through the first class, everyone!

"So anyway, what we have here is a class about geography. The geography about this world, my world, your world, worlds I'm just gonna make up. Pretty much everything is fair game. I mean, look at the song I nearly sang! That thing hasn't been updated since '93 and people still love it. So none of it really matters. Just have fun! And try not to rely too much on anything you hear here if you end up some place I talk about."

"But this is the first class and I have a freshly popped bowl of popcorn," Yakko said,twisting the top off of his globe to expose the popcorn in the bottom half. He carried that over to his desk and took a seat. "So today, let's hear from you! Name, class, what's the name of the country you came from and what's so special about it. If you want, you can also tell me why you should have some popcorn before I kindly tell you that you're not getting any because it's mine! All mine! Let's start with you," Yakko said, throwing a piece of popcorn on someone's desk. "And make it good, just in case I want to steal what you said word for word in a later class."

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Who are you? What year are you? Where do you come from and why should we care? When will Yakko share that popcorn?

"I'm Matt Murdock and I'm from New York city," he said still trying to figure out what Yakko was. "Which is the city that never sleeps so you should care because it has insomnia."

Leave the jokes to Peter Parker, Matt.

"That would explain a few things," Yakko said. "If you don't get proper sleep, after a while you might go a little bit--" Yakko grabbed a cuckoo clock from behind his desk and let it call out "CUCKOO! CUCKOO!"

And then he threw it out the window, which had been closed.

"Which is why I haven't slept in five years."

"I'm Ace, I'm a junior. I'm from London and you should pretend to care because I brought my own popcorn, it's caramel, and I might be willing to share."

Please, like Ace wasn't going to bring her own popcorn to this class?

"Is it English popcorn?" Yakko checked.

Ace checked the bottom of the bag. "Made in Valparaiso, Indiana, wherever that is."

By somebody named Orville.

"Sorry, Ace. I'm going to have to mark you down for not giving me anything to care about from London," Yakko said, sadly. He pulled out a big marker and a piece of paper and drew an arrow on it.

Then he gave it to Ace with the arrow pointing down. That would show her!

"But..." Ace frowned at the piece of paper, wondering why she actually felt vaguely disappointed. Wait, why was she trying to be logical about this?

"I'm from London, and I'm awesome," she said, turning the arrow the other way up and shoving it back at him. "That's why you should care."

"Hmm. Interesting," Yakko said, considering the piece of paper. "Tell you what, turn this into a hat and you'll get another piece of paper with a smiley face on it."

...Yeeeah, about that.

"I could stick it on my head, but I can't turn it into a hat."

Because she was in desperate need of a piece of paper with a smiley face on it, right?

"Give me five minutes and some saltpeter and I can turn it into a bomb, though!"

Edited 2012-08-31 13:26 (UTC)

"My name is Susan and I'm a senior from the Sto Plains. And you needn't care about it, unless you care about cabbages."

At least she was honest.

"How could anyone not???" Yakko asked. "LIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS!"

The lights dimmed and suddenly there were pictures of cabbages in glass cases being projected onto a screen. "Here are some pictures of my visit to the International Cabbage Museum in Altoona, Iowa." With a click, the next slide showed up. "This is Herbert Montgomery's blue ribbon cabbage from the 1998 Kansas state fair! Everyone thought ol' Herb's cabbage was the biggest one in history up until 2003 when the Guiness Book found out about Gil Garcia's cabbage," click, "that he'd been keeping in his barn for years, well, it was a regular ol' cabbagepalooza!"

None of that made any sense. Even less of it was true.

"I'm Rilla Blythe, from Prince Edward Island, Canada and you should care before Canada is not just America's hat, thank you very much," Rilla sniffed.

"You're right! If you look at a map upside down, it's also America's boots. It's all about perspective, really," Yakko agreed.

"I'm Darcy Lewis, I'm from Arizona, and you really shouldn't care, unless you're lost, but I do have popcorn." Darcy grinned.

"There's plenty to care about in Arizona! For example, did you know that there's a town called Snowflake where the average winter temperature is above freezing?" Yakko asked. "That's a little interesting!"

"Well, now I do." Darcy said after a few moments of processing this.

"Ryan Clark, I'm a senior, and I'm originally from New York, but I actually grew up in El Salvador and Kenya, which kind of made for a weird mix of cultures," said Ryan with a shrug. "It's a little weird to realize that there are places in the world where people don't have air conditioning or a roof over their heads."

"You're telling me! But just wait. Someday, someone will create a roof for those people made of nothing but air conditioners! And on that day, they'll blow out power to the entire town," Yakko said. "The air roofs will be manufactured by the Hubris Corporation."

Yakko's World, Thursday, Period 2

Introductions

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