fandomhigh | Practical Philosophy, Monday

Entry tags:

practical philosophy

Practical Philosophy, Monday

Ender was still holding a cup of coffee from the Starbucks branch at the Baltimore Portalocity terminal in his hands when he arrived; he'd ordered the largest size, and still sipped it from time to time even though it had gone cold.

He had another portal back to Coruscant in only three hours-- a day would have passed back there, and he would probably spend some time sleeping to make up for lost time earlier this morning.

Now, though, he was outside again, sitting down on the lawn, putting the coffee between his legs. "Sorry about the lack of food," he said. "But I'm currently in the process of hurrying back and forth between here and my partner's galaxy on account of a minor crisis. Nothing for you to worry about, though."

He scraped his throat. "I didn't want to go into this last week because for some of you, the issues at hand might have still been too fresh," he said. God knew he'd been reeling himself, and the nightmares still hadn't gone away-- but he was ignoring that now. "But I'd like for us to talk about identity, and what this island does to it."

"I'm sure at least some of you have been asking yourselves the question, 'how much of that was me? Whatever it was I did, was it my fault?' It's a question for which there are no easy answers. In fact, it's an ancient argument in many fields: is it nature that defines us, or nurture?" He glanced over the faces of his students. "Because in the case of this particular week, our nurture was decidedly different. Or rather, to use a word less tied up with child-rearing, our circumstances."

"There are people who'll say that you won't know who you are until you're pushed to your extreme, and that's a valid point," he said, "Though I'd nuance it by saying that who you are at your extreme is just another part of you. It predicts what you would do in certain situations, but it isn't a worthwhile indicator of a full bonafide human being. Would you do the things you'd do to an enemy in an extreme situation if the situation was not extreme? If you could talk to them, reason with them? Would you do it if it was someone you loved?"

"Or would you balk? Would you sacrifice yourself in one situation but not in another? Of course you would. You're human." He took another sip of his cold coffee. "This is one of the reasons why debates about ethics always become complicated, and even our resident class with Professor Skywalker won't prepare you for the realities of it. There are people who say they won't kill who will become murderers, and people who say they would who never do. Some of it is circumstance and some of it is who they are-- we aren't simple creatures, except for when we are."

He put his coffee down. "But I could lecture on this topic for a very long time," he said. "I'm more interested in letting all of you squawk for a while. What did you do that week, and was it something you thought you would do? Is it something you think you might do here, if the circumstances are right? What if they're different? I'm not looking for ethics here-- I'm absolutely the last person who has any right to pass moral judgement on anything. I just want to know who you think you were and who you think you are, and whether you think the two have any connection whatsoever."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"He'll be glad to hear it." Ender smiled a tiny bit. "So, all ethical issues aside... how have you been holding up?"

"Ethical issues aside?" Tara asked, tilting her head to one side. "At this point it's more ... 'the island is being weird again' than anything else. N-not like it's fun, but it's ... not unexpected."

She would feel a little awkward around a few people for a while, but that was not exactly a life-ruiner.

"What about you? Or is that a dumb question, with everything going on with Ben?"

"I did some things I'm not proud of," Ender admitted. "But what else is new."

"It's not like it was exactly us," Tara said, trying to be reasssuring. "It was us, but with big chunks missing."

That was what she'd been trying to convince herself of, anyhow.

"I know," Ender said, offering her a reassuring smile of his own. "But sometimes it serves as a reminder of things you'd rather forget. It's not important, though - I'll be fine."

"Well, yeah," Tara said. "You ... kind of always say you're fine."

She looked at him with more concern. "Ben asked me who Cassie was last week. Is that -- kind of what's bothering you?"

She didn't know what had happened, exactly, but between 'reminder of things you'd rather forget' and the face Ben had wanted to know the girl's name at all, she had a pretty good idea it was nothing good.

Edited 2012-08-06 16:57 (UTC)

Ender shot her a glance, already ramping up to brush her off. He relented a little on the severity of it, though, and wound up saying, "It's never easy dealing with the thought of having hurt someone, no matter the reality."

"Probably not," Tara acknowledged, accepting the tacit yes and deciding she didn't really need any gory details. "It's funny. You can kind of see how most of us would get ... where we were in that world, even if we don't like it."

Topher, not learning empathy. Natalie, going with what was easiest. Sparkle, still a rebel. And Tara herself.

"But you aren't there, and he still wasn't you."

And Ender, still a killer.

Much worse of one in this world, he realized, than in the other-- he'd never been in the position to kill a dozen Sith in that one.

"I know," he said. "It's just a matter of dealing with memories that aren't mine. I thought having a discussion about it might help set everyone's minds at ease on that score."

He was, of course, lying his ass off about all but the last part. Well, maybe not lying. Twisting the truth.

"Do you think it worked? The discussing?"

Tara didn't think Ender was telling the entire truth; she also wasn't sure whether cajoling the entire truth out of him was a job she wanted to take on. It might be better left to Ben, or maybe Valentine.

Ben already knew as much as Ender was willing to let on - and he wasn't sure he wanted to deal with his sister's inability to keep from prying.

This was about his speed with everyone else.

"I think it might have helped a little," Ender admitted. "Or maybe I'm just fooling myself. Either way, Topher looked thoughtful."

"He did," Tara agreed. "It seemed like he was more concerned by the whole thing than Natalie was, but he did more than she did, too."

"Natalie is hard to read," Ender said. That was... putting it mildly. "I think she's more affected than she lets on, but she doesn't want to talk about it, and the business of this class isn't to pry into her personal life."

Though he'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious.

"I lived with her most of last year," Tara explained. "She's nice, but this is .... about how she is. I wasn't even sure she liked me until ... maybe Christmas?"

Or until Natalie taken care of Moxy after Tara was gone, the time the world almost ended.

"But you're right that there's more below the surface. I hope so, anyhow. And I agree poking at her won't help."

Edited 2012-08-06 18:17 (UTC)

"Who knows," Ender said, a little dryly. "Maybe Peter will bother to take an interest for long enough to get her to talk about it."

He doubted it. Sincerely.

"He might," Tara said, trying to be optimistic. "Or her boyfriend might. Or she might just ... not need to talk. I hear it's possible."

"Who knows," Ender agreed. "I think I've just wandered off into this ridiculous mental image of my brother trying to have a conversation with someone about their feelings..."

Tara giggled suddenly. "Sorry," she said. "He got stuck trying to talk me out of freaking out about the whole ... plan to defeat Umbridge." She shrugged. "He wasn't thrilled, but ... he didn't make me cry?"

This was an achievement, yes.

"My god," Ender deadpanned, "The boy has grown."

"At least in bizarro world," Tara suggested. "I don't actually know him in the real world. I mean, I know who he is, but..."

She'd never seen a reason to go out of her way to talk to him.

"It doesn't seem like we'd have a ton in common."

"Peter doesn't have much in common with anyone, and he doesn't exactly welcome friendship," Ender said. After a pause, he added, "But I might be biased. We've never really gotten along."

Understatement.

Tara shrugged. "I haven't talked to my brother since graduation, so ... kind of not in a place to judge. I don't think blood family's the important thing, anyhow."

Ender shrugged lightly himself. "I don't know how other me put up with him, honestly," he said.

"Maybe having him around gave you time to do other things?" Tara guessed. "Or ... um, you know. Better with you than against you."

"I don't think Peter would have survived more than a few days if he'd tried to side with Umbridge," Ender admitted. "He doesn't take orders well."

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender

Re: Talk to Ender