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fandomhigh2012-07-25 03:02 am
hiddenkilt.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-07-25 03:02 am
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The Joy of Nonmagical Cooking, Wednesday, Period One
Priestly -- that'd be Mr. Priestly to you students -- stood at the front of the classroom, wearing a neatly starched and pressed white apron over his equally neatly starched and pressed suit. He waited with his arms folded over his chest, watching as the students arrived, and at the precise time that class was intended to start, he cleared his throat.
"Good morning, class. I hope you all had a very fine day yesterday, and avoided too much frivolity with the . . . singing . . . and all." Dammit, he'd had that line rehearsed perfectly, earlier. "Today, we're going to be making something nice and simple: a swordfish salad with orange vinaigrette. You'll find the recipe and ingredients at your work station, as usual. You'll also find some nice guides to formal table setting, which brings us to our main focus for today: presentation.
"Presentation is the very heart and soul of refined cooking. You see, the human tongue is not, actually, a very precise instrument, and as such, the human sense of taste tends to be very weak. It's heavily influenced by the other senses, especially the sense of smell. If you don't believe me, try chewing a pear-flavored jelly bean -- there's also some of those at your work stations -- with your nose pinched. If you're like the average human, you won't actually taste the pear until after you swallow, and then inhale through your nose." He paused here to give the students a chance to try it out, then continued. "The other main factor that enters into the average human's food experience is sight. If something looks good, we're more inclined to believe it's going to taste good, and as we all know, the mind can be an incredible force to be reckoned with."
When it wasn't subjugated by magic, anyway.
"This is why table setting and presentation are so important for the professional chef. Any tiny detail out of place may ruin the meal experience for the diner, which reflects badly on the chef. Of course, this is subject to the whims of fashion, just like any other art form -- as you can see with the guides I've provided, none of them entirely agree on what should be placed where. There are general themes, but there's always wiggle room."
Just like there was wiggle room within Umbridge's rules. Or should be. Or, hey, just eradicate Umbridge's rules all together. Or eradicate Umbridge. Now there was a cheery thought.
"And, just like in any other art form, there will always be stronger choices. For instance, did you know that the scent of the common violet actually short circuits the human sense of smell for a short period of time? So were you choose a bouquet of violets as your centerpiece, the diner would be unlikely to be able to detect certain subtle taste variations brought on by added ingredients, such as the distinctive bitter almond of arsenic, which you may know is highly toxic to humans." He flashed a small smile. "Just something to keep in mind as you go out to practice your cooking skills, today. Now, let's get started on some swordfish, and get those tables set."
[ooc: violets v. arsenic detail totally and unabashedly stolen from The Adventures of Brisco County Junior. Priestly absolutely does not endorse the poisoning of one's dinner guests, unless of course, that dinner guest is our esteemed Ms. Dolores Umbridge.]
"Good morning, class. I hope you all had a very fine day yesterday, and avoided too much frivolity with the . . . singing . . . and all." Dammit, he'd had that line rehearsed perfectly, earlier. "Today, we're going to be making something nice and simple: a swordfish salad with orange vinaigrette. You'll find the recipe and ingredients at your work station, as usual. You'll also find some nice guides to formal table setting, which brings us to our main focus for today: presentation.
"Presentation is the very heart and soul of refined cooking. You see, the human tongue is not, actually, a very precise instrument, and as such, the human sense of taste tends to be very weak. It's heavily influenced by the other senses, especially the sense of smell. If you don't believe me, try chewing a pear-flavored jelly bean -- there's also some of those at your work stations -- with your nose pinched. If you're like the average human, you won't actually taste the pear until after you swallow, and then inhale through your nose." He paused here to give the students a chance to try it out, then continued. "The other main factor that enters into the average human's food experience is sight. If something looks good, we're more inclined to believe it's going to taste good, and as we all know, the mind can be an incredible force to be reckoned with."
When it wasn't subjugated by magic, anyway.
"This is why table setting and presentation are so important for the professional chef. Any tiny detail out of place may ruin the meal experience for the diner, which reflects badly on the chef. Of course, this is subject to the whims of fashion, just like any other art form -- as you can see with the guides I've provided, none of them entirely agree on what should be placed where. There are general themes, but there's always wiggle room."
Just like there was wiggle room within Umbridge's rules. Or should be. Or, hey, just eradicate Umbridge's rules all together. Or eradicate Umbridge. Now there was a cheery thought.
"And, just like in any other art form, there will always be stronger choices. For instance, did you know that the scent of the common violet actually short circuits the human sense of smell for a short period of time? So were you choose a bouquet of violets as your centerpiece, the diner would be unlikely to be able to detect certain subtle taste variations brought on by added ingredients, such as the distinctive bitter almond of arsenic, which you may know is highly toxic to humans." He flashed a small smile. "Just something to keep in mind as you go out to practice your cooking skills, today. Now, let's get started on some swordfish, and get those tables set."
[ooc: violets v. arsenic detail totally and unabashedly stolen from The Adventures of Brisco County Junior. Priestly absolutely does not endorse the poisoning of one's dinner guests, unless of course, that dinner guest is our esteemed Ms. Dolores Umbridge.]
Re: Cook and set the table [7/25]
"Flip through one of the cookbooks and write down how you would set the table, including centerpiece, if you were serving that recipe at a formal dinner party."
That seemed low key enough, right?
Re: Cook and set the table [7/25]
"I can write up an essay on presentation, too," she offered quickly. "Just...so long as I don't have to use the special quill for it?"
Re: Cook and set the table [7/25]
Re: Cook and set the table [7/25]
And there wouldn't be a hint of pink in it. Because that was the best rebellion she could think of at the moment.
"I can get it done before the end of class if I hurry."
Re: Cook and set the table [7/25]
"If you want to get it done by then, then sure," he said. "If not, you can turn it in whenever you're ready."
He didn't expect her to believe him, but maybe she'd stress herself out just a little bit less.
He was helping the students here. He just had to keep reminding himself of that.
Re: Cook and set the table [7/25]
"Thank you, Mr. Priestly," Sholeh said, offering him a tiny smile before dropping her eyes and skittering away. "I'm sorry for making you go to this extra trouble because I misbehaved."
By, you know, eating dessert. That had been offered to her. By a teacher.
Re: Cook and set the table [7/25]
He seriously hated this place. Saturday could not come fast enough.