fandomhigh | That's Not What Happened: An Asgardian’s Guide to Norse Mythology [Thursday, Period Three]

Instead of Thor standing in front of the class, there was a Loki. A Loki, a magpie, and a corgi that was dressed up in a miniature version of Thor's helm and cloak.

That was... totally normal, Loki. Yeah.

"Greetings, classmates! Mine brother has been turned into a dog, so it is upon me to teach you the wonders of our land," Loki said brightly. Seriously, nothing could ever go wrong here. Nothing at all. "Today you will learn of the Asgard that I am familiar with. As I am certain, due to the multiuniversal nature of our island, will not be the same as our esteemed teacher's."

Their adorable teacher.

"I did not live in the Asgard known to Midgardians through myths, it had been destroyed by the cycle of Ragnorak that ended the realms beyond this one." Makes perfect sense, people. "When I was awakened and knew my true name, the city was once more in ruins from a battle that had been instigated by, and then ended the life of my predecessor. The once beautiful city of the Aesir was reduced to rubble, filled with refugees of the Nine Realms who had been newly awakened from the minds and souls of humans across the world. That is the Asgard I have known. It does not reside upon the great tree Yggdrasil as it once did, the tree has been split in twain and bleeds upon the land of Oklahoma where the great towers had been rebuilt by Thor in an attempt to return our people to glory."

A beat.

"Though, despite all that, I have found I quite enjoy Midgard in all my time here. The diversions are much more interesting. I have amassed a great collection of popular culture thanks to the most wondrous bits of torrents."

It was possible he missed the point of the class. Possible, but unlikely. Loki did what he wanted!

"I suppose we must do something of a more studious nature. If you were to rebuild a great city of mythical fame upon the Earth, where would you do so and why?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Because Oklahoma is just special.

"Australia," Miriam said, shrugging. "Because they have room. And it'd be fun to watch people fend off all the poisonous snakes and spiders. Keeps them on their toes."

Good as any answer she supposed.

"Olympus already does this," Luke said. "It situates itself where the heart of Western Civilization is. Right now it's in Manhattan."

The Empire State Building, if you wanted to get specific.

"But I guess I'd pick someplace warmer, maybe in California. The entrance to the Underworld is already in Los Angeles so...I don't know, San Diego or something?"

"That would make sense," Loki replied. "Hela was in Los Vegas before negotiating for a portion of Hell to rule."

Hot places and the afterlife, yo.

"Vegas is pretty appropriate," Luke said, looking amused. "I know Hades is pretty amused with the Underworld-Los Angeles connections. But he came up with the joke so naturally he thinks it's hilarious. He's his own biggest fan."

Loki grimaced and nodded in agreement. Worldplay was best left to the professionals, Hades.

"Are there other pantheons where you are from?"

"Well, Oklahoma seemed to be working out pretty well until you got it broken," Alex said.

Also, got his dad killed. Couldn't forget that part, Loki.

Loki stuck his tongue out at that. "I was not yet alive, Ares-Son."

Alex crossed his arms and glared. "Refusing to accept accountability still isn't a good look for you."

"I only accept blame for actions I have taken," Loki replied. "Not the actions of those who came before me. What would you know of it, anyway? Did you become an expert in the mystic arts when I was not looking? Or are you still in the camp of hitting things until they stop moving with those boors in Asgard?"

"The you before you was still you!" Not that Alex was averse to hitting things, but. Not the point.

"Simply saying that does not make it true, Ares-son."

"Coming back from the dead different is not a get out of jail free card! I don't get why you think it is!" And Alex seriously did not get why Loki thought bringing up that time he broke Asgard and got Alex's dad killed as a class topic was going to end well. Or he would have if he was capable of rational thought on the matter. Really, what?

Who needed to be rational? THEY WERE GODS!

"You died and came back, he died and I was born. It is not the same!"

"Obviously, I didn't get any younger. But you're still you!"

"I am not!"

"See, just because you say that, doesn't make it true. You're the god of lies, how do you not get this?"

"That does not mean I only lie!" Loki objected. "I am not lying about this, you foolish little cretin. I would not even be here if it was not true. The Allfather would not have allowed me to live."

Not after the last time.

"That's exactly what you would say!" Alex protested.

Loki rolled his eyes. "You are lucky that I am different, Alexander."

Alex rolled his eyes right back. "Whatever." Your threats did not impress him, Loki. He had heard your girlish cries of distress.

That's Not What Happened: An Asgardian’s Guide to Norse Mythology [Thursday, Period Three]

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