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fandomhigh2012-06-11 12:27 pm
scary-jeff.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-06-11 12:27 pm
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Relationship Ed, Monday
"Hello," said Jeff.
Yes, Jeff. We'd been through this weeks ago.
"Er, okay, so today we're going to have more of a practical exercise," he began. "Normally, when you get... intimate... everything goes a bit smoothly. I mean, you may fall off the bed or swallow a pair of knickers, but nothing really terrible happens."
Jeff might have had some experience with these issues.
"But sometimes something goes so spectacularly wrong that you have to make a run for it," he said. "I mean, don't run away, obviously, but run off and... find a fix." Beat. "Something to fix things. Sorry, that came out wrong, I wasn't trying to make you do drugs or anything like that."
Yes.
"So, the first thing you'll do is come up with an excuse to leave the room in the middle of... activities," he said. "Then you'll run into town and you'll have twenty minutes to get one of each of these items." He held up a list. "Laxative," he began. "Duct tape. WD-40. A toothpick." Pause. "And of course a cupcake or wine or something just in case she-- or he-- is a bit cross 'cause you just ran off for twenty minutes."
He dropped the list. "You're allowed to work together," he said solemnly, "But remember, when it comes right down to it, this terrible mile will be a lonely one."
Yes, Jeff. We'd been through this weeks ago.
"Er, okay, so today we're going to have more of a practical exercise," he began. "Normally, when you get... intimate... everything goes a bit smoothly. I mean, you may fall off the bed or swallow a pair of knickers, but nothing really terrible happens."
Jeff might have had some experience with these issues.
"But sometimes something goes so spectacularly wrong that you have to make a run for it," he said. "I mean, don't run away, obviously, but run off and... find a fix." Beat. "Something to fix things. Sorry, that came out wrong, I wasn't trying to make you do drugs or anything like that."
Yes.
"So, the first thing you'll do is come up with an excuse to leave the room in the middle of... activities," he said. "Then you'll run into town and you'll have twenty minutes to get one of each of these items." He held up a list. "Laxative," he began. "Duct tape. WD-40. A toothpick." Pause. "And of course a cupcake or wine or something just in case she-- or he-- is a bit cross 'cause you just ran off for twenty minutes."
He dropped the list. "You're allowed to work together," he said solemnly, "But remember, when it comes right down to it, this terrible mile will be a lonely one."
Re: Listen to the Instructions
WHAT DID ANY OF THESE THINGS HAVE TO DO WITH BOYFRIENDS?