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fandomhigh2012-05-28 07:12 am
boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-05-28 07:12 am
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Diversity and You, Class #4, Period #2, May 28th
Class today was meeting at the Causeway, where Callie had arranged a portal. Once everyone had arrived -- or, really, enough people for Callie to assume that that was everyone -- the students would be ushered through. On the other side, they would find themselves standing at the top of a very, very tall purple-colored escalator, in what appeared to be a cave with fire-engine-red walls.
Sure, she could have had the portal take them to the bottom of the escalator, but Callie didn't trust her students to listen to her once they'd arrived in New Hell, so she was going to use the ride down for a little talk. Besides, the escalator entrance was really the best for getting the full oomph.
"We'll be spending class in Hell today," Callie began. She stepped onto the escalator, then turned backwards to face her students. Students, in turn, were free to ooh and aah at the varied creatures riding the opposite escalator up, or climbing the sheer faces of the walls. "Just the touristy parts. No wandering off to play in the lake of fire, and don't go exploring dark alleyways. You are in Hell now. If you don't know what that means, see me before you go tearing off and trying to get yourself killed."
That counted as the safety part of today's lecture. Besides, demons behaved themselves in New Hell. It was better for business that way.
"Keep to the main road, and just the stores you can see along it," she explained, "but go in any of those you like. Have brunch if you want, or a snack. Buy some trinkets. Anything that shouldn't be sold to humans should be marked, for your protection as well as ours. Having said that, if you go into any of the stores that sell mystical items, I'm going to ask to double-check your bags before we go back, because I'm your teacher and I should probably pretend I'm responsible for you. Don't worry, I don't care if you're trying to buy drugs or something for your pathetic sex life. I just need to make sure you didn't accidentally trade your soul away because you don't know how to read fine print."
That pretty puzzle box from Hellmark could unleash the Three Satanic Trials, for example. Awkward.
"Most of the stuff here is human-friendly. That's the point of New Hell. A Japanese shopping mall magnate got hold of Satan's finances, and invested in making this place a tourist trap. Lots of people don't want to go to Hell, but plenty of them love to visit. Human nature is perverse like that. Ah, here we are."
At last, they'd reached the bottom. The escalator stopped at a long street filled with vibrant, neon colors -- almost like a black light had vomited. The sky, if it could be called that, was red magma. Demons bustled about shopping, and so did eager humans, taking pictures excitedly and buying t-shirts. Just another morning in New Hell.
To any students in worlds resembling this one's late twentieth century, the stores would look familiar, but changed; slightly more ominous window displays, and the names coy little plays on household ones. Barnes and Evil, for example. TSIFriday's.
"You have one hour," Callie said. "The portal leaves with or without you, and I don't suppose any of you want to be stranded here. Now go. Explore. Experience a new culture, or at least the commercialized, consumer-friendly aspects of it."
And with that, she seated herself on the nearest bench and began punching numbers into her Blackberry. She'd give her students a minute or two, in case any of them had questions. And once they had dispersed, then she was going to Scarbucks for a latte.
Sure, she could have had the portal take them to the bottom of the escalator, but Callie didn't trust her students to listen to her once they'd arrived in New Hell, so she was going to use the ride down for a little talk. Besides, the escalator entrance was really the best for getting the full oomph.
"We'll be spending class in Hell today," Callie began. She stepped onto the escalator, then turned backwards to face her students. Students, in turn, were free to ooh and aah at the varied creatures riding the opposite escalator up, or climbing the sheer faces of the walls. "Just the touristy parts. No wandering off to play in the lake of fire, and don't go exploring dark alleyways. You are in Hell now. If you don't know what that means, see me before you go tearing off and trying to get yourself killed."
That counted as the safety part of today's lecture. Besides, demons behaved themselves in New Hell. It was better for business that way.
"Keep to the main road, and just the stores you can see along it," she explained, "but go in any of those you like. Have brunch if you want, or a snack. Buy some trinkets. Anything that shouldn't be sold to humans should be marked, for your protection as well as ours. Having said that, if you go into any of the stores that sell mystical items, I'm going to ask to double-check your bags before we go back, because I'm your teacher and I should probably pretend I'm responsible for you. Don't worry, I don't care if you're trying to buy drugs or something for your pathetic sex life. I just need to make sure you didn't accidentally trade your soul away because you don't know how to read fine print."
That pretty puzzle box from Hellmark could unleash the Three Satanic Trials, for example. Awkward.
"Most of the stuff here is human-friendly. That's the point of New Hell. A Japanese shopping mall magnate got hold of Satan's finances, and invested in making this place a tourist trap. Lots of people don't want to go to Hell, but plenty of them love to visit. Human nature is perverse like that. Ah, here we are."
At last, they'd reached the bottom. The escalator stopped at a long street filled with vibrant, neon colors -- almost like a black light had vomited. The sky, if it could be called that, was red magma. Demons bustled about shopping, and so did eager humans, taking pictures excitedly and buying t-shirts. Just another morning in New Hell.
To any students in worlds resembling this one's late twentieth century, the stores would look familiar, but changed; slightly more ominous window displays, and the names coy little plays on household ones. Barnes and Evil, for example. TSIFriday's.
"You have one hour," Callie said. "The portal leaves with or without you, and I don't suppose any of you want to be stranded here. Now go. Explore. Experience a new culture, or at least the commercialized, consumer-friendly aspects of it."
And with that, she seated herself on the nearest bench and began punching numbers into her Blackberry. She'd give her students a minute or two, in case any of them had questions. And once they had dispersed, then she was going to Scarbucks for a latte.
Re: Before Class - DIV04
"Put me down, monkey-boy!!!" he snarled. He thrashed around ineffectually, trying to slash Seifer with his claws. "Put me down, or I'll make you sorry!"