fandomhigh | Diversity and You, Class #4, Period #2, May 28th

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Diversity and You, Class #4, Period #2, May 28th

Class today was meeting at the Causeway, where Callie had arranged a portal. Once everyone had arrived -- or, really, enough people for Callie to assume that that was everyone -- the students would be ushered through. On the other side, they would find themselves standing at the top of a very, very tall purple-colored escalator, in what appeared to be a cave with fire-engine-red walls.

Sure, she could have had the portal take them to the bottom of the escalator, but Callie didn't trust her students to listen to her once they'd arrived in New Hell, so she was going to use the ride down for a little talk. Besides, the escalator entrance was really the best for getting the full oomph.

"We'll be spending class in Hell today," Callie began. She stepped onto the escalator, then turned backwards to face her students. Students, in turn, were free to ooh and aah at the varied creatures riding the opposite escalator up, or climbing the sheer faces of the walls. "Just the touristy parts. No wandering off to play in the lake of fire, and don't go exploring dark alleyways. You are in Hell now. If you don't know what that means, see me before you go tearing off and trying to get yourself killed."

That counted as the safety part of today's lecture. Besides, demons behaved themselves in New Hell. It was better for business that way.

"Keep to the main road, and just the stores you can see along it," she explained, "but go in any of those you like. Have brunch if you want, or a snack. Buy some trinkets. Anything that shouldn't be sold to humans should be marked, for your protection as well as ours. Having said that, if you go into any of the stores that sell mystical items, I'm going to ask to double-check your bags before we go back, because I'm your teacher and I should probably pretend I'm responsible for you. Don't worry, I don't care if you're trying to buy drugs or something for your pathetic sex life. I just need to make sure you didn't accidentally trade your soul away because you don't know how to read fine print."

That pretty puzzle box from Hellmark could unleash the Three Satanic Trials, for example. Awkward.

"Most of the stuff here is human-friendly. That's the point of New Hell. A Japanese shopping mall magnate got hold of Satan's finances, and invested in making this place a tourist trap. Lots of people don't want to go to Hell, but plenty of them love to visit. Human nature is perverse like that. Ah, here we are."

At last, they'd reached the bottom. The escalator stopped at a long street filled with vibrant, neon colors -- almost like a black light had vomited. The sky, if it could be called that, was red magma. Demons bustled about shopping, and so did eager humans, taking pictures excitedly and buying t-shirts. Just another morning in New Hell.

To any students in worlds resembling this one's late twentieth century, the stores would look familiar, but changed; slightly more ominous window displays, and the names coy little plays on household ones. Barnes and Evil, for example. TSIFriday's.

"You have one hour," Callie said. "The portal leaves with or without you, and I don't suppose any of you want to be stranded here. Now go. Explore. Experience a new culture, or at least the commercialized, consumer-friendly aspects of it."

And with that, she seated herself on the nearest bench and began punching numbers into her Blackberry. She'd give her students a minute or two, in case any of them had questions. And once they had dispersed, then she was going to Scarbucks for a latte.

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Mingle, chat, wait by the portal for other students to arrive. Or puke on Mark, as per the icon.

Sparkle was back in his usual garb today. The clean face and the neat hair and the pretty clothes were all a work-uniform thing, really, and he just felt more comfortable when he looked like a little shit that couldn't be trusted.

Hey, field trip. He was trying not to look excited or anything. It wasn't like Sparkle had been on many of these.

Most of her students, Callie could trust not to fall into the lake of fire, or to wander into the Blood Courts and pick a fight. Most.

There was at least one that she couldn't, that was entirely too stupid to survive the outing on his own. Which was why she'd brought this humiliating looking baby carrier.

She found the furball before he noticed her. He might have pointy, sharp ends, but he also had fallen asleep. A critical error. One that gave her a two-second window to grab the stupid cat and shove him in (http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117159100/48324163).

She dangled the hissing, spitting bag o'Bucky by its straps as she surveyed the crowd for someone she could fob this mess off on. She wasn't going to wreck her shopping day by babysitting, thanks.

(OOC: The idea was a joint one with

monkeymonkeydie but he is le sleepin' so we couldn't play it out live, and thus he asked me to mod.)

Seifer was blond, and therefore having a blond moment when he made his way to Callie and blinked at the Cat-inna-Bag.

"What is that for?"

He should have sacrificed Butters for this.

TA. Teaching assistant. Assistant to the teacher. He was there to lend a hand.

"It's so he doesn't wander off and get killed," Callie said brightly. "Not that I care but I'm not allowed to get students killed. The vice-principal said so. We can't leave him here, so ...."

She held out the Cat-inna-Bag. Towards his hand. The one he was supposed to lend her.

Seifer looked at the bag full of pissed off cat.

Seifer looked at Callie.

Seifer looked at the bag full of pissed off cat.

Seifer looked at Callie.

Seifer cursed very long and colorfully, in many languages, several of which he didn't even know except for the curse words (thank you very much, Google.), and took the bag full of pissed off cat.

Seifer was not a happy Seifer.

Bucky was not a very happy Bucky, either.

"Put me down, monkey-boy!!!" he snarled. He thrashed around ineffectually, trying to slash Seifer with his claws. "Put me down, or I'll make you sorry!"

Like you are on your way to Hell.

Sparkle

Sam Puckett

Bucky Katt

Thelma Bates

Sholeh Zeela a Zhahar

People- and demon-watch. Listen to the lecture, such as it is. Worry about getting sucked in between the steps of the escalator when you step off.

... not because it's an Evil escalator or anything, just because maybe you do that on escalators. Some people do. Uh. Apparently. >.>

Yeah, that dude looked like a goat or something, and that chick had six tits, and that... thingie... kind of looked like he was part gecko or something, and...

Sparkle was making no effort to hide the fact that he was doing some open-mouthed staring. None.

"Whoa, these freaks are UGLY!!!" Bucky exclaimed. "I mean, you talk about people getting hit by the ugly stick, but I think it must have been the size of a telephone pole down here!"

Sholeh was looking around eagerly. She didn't know what Hell was, though she supposed she should, if that's where demons were from. Oooh. This place looked like there were so many opportunities to learn! She couldn't wait to explore!

There will be subheadings here in a mo, bbs. Also, for future reference, demon stores take all major credit cards, cash, and gold.

If your character didn't think to trade his or her money, we can handwave that the demonic bank can handle money changing, OR we can handwave that Callie changed the money for them, however works best.

The bookstore with a new demonic twist. Featuring such fascinating titles as God is a Big Fat Idiot and Sinning for Dummies.

If there was a good place to find out stuff, it would be at a bookstore. Sure, Sholeh didn't have much money, but there was nothing wrong with looking.

...Someone would come and get her before the hour ended, right? Right?

When you care enough to send the very worst.

And you thought London had good rock memorabilia.

Even demons need to redecorate. Mind the sacrificial urns.

Edited 2012-05-28 11:46 (UTC)

Feel free to start a thread for any location you want to visit. Other stores in New Hell include: TSI Friday's, Auntie Christie's (Auntie Anne's), Sin-a-Bon's, Blight Castle, Rack & Chamber (Crate & Barrel), Dante's Infurniture, Scarbucks, Brimstone Blasphemery (Cold Stone Creamery), Doomingdale's, and Le Burnadine.

For all that he was in the shopping district in fucking Hell, it wasn't like Sparkle was exactly rolling in the cash, yet. After all, his first day at work had been all of yesterday, and he was too fucking proud to ask for an advance on his pay just so that he could prance around and spend his money on... clothes, mostly, and besides, he got an employee discount at Demon Marcus.

So he was just going to find a seat at the Brimstone Blasphemery with a single-scoop cake batter, because when in Hell... eat ice cream. Or something. Fuck it.

Just what it says on the tin. Meet back up, chit-chat with people.

Callie is going to ask to see what you bought, if you bought anything. (Note: ask. Your character can refuse.) She just wants to be sure no one accidentally went OH PRETTY and scooped up a cursed relic.

She's even waiting here in case you need to! Isn't that nice of her.

One of whom is not going to be very happy, for reasons that have yet to be played as I am typing this but will become apparent before I finish the OCD. Muahahaha.

Seifer was here, sitting outside Scarbucks, with a bag full of pissed off cat hanging from his arm.

"Hey, dumb-pants," the pissed-off cat growled at him. "I was promised a shopping trip, not a sitting-around-and-drinking-coffee trip. Get off your butt."

In the shopping threads, if you want an NPC sales clerk, please indicate so; otherwise I'll assume you are just shopping it up handwavily.

I have yet to sleep, so if this is incoherent, that is why. So I will be AFK for a bit, but I'll answer all pings when I'm back.

Edited 2012-05-28 11:50 (UTC)

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Diversity and You, Class #4, Period #2, May 28th

Before Class - DIV04

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Sign In - DIV04

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During the L-- ... Escalator Ride - DIV04

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Go Shopping! - DIV04

Go Shopping: Barnes and Evil! - DIV04

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Go Shopping: Hellmark - DIV04

Go Shopping - Hell Rock Cafe - DIV04

Go Shopping: Bloodbath and Beyond - DIV04

Go Shopping: Anywhere Else - DIV04

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Regroup at the Portal at the End of the Hour - DIV04

Talk to Callie - DIV04

Talk to the TAs

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OOC - DIV04