fandomhigh | Childcare For Dummies [Thursday, May 24, 2012]

The room was filled with the sound of wailing babies and toddlers, and was definitely more pungent than usual.

Be afraid, children. Be very afraid.

"Ah, the smell of fresh diapers in the morning. Don'tcha love it?" Deadpool said brightly. "It's like sitting in New Jersey."

“Or Nar Shaddaa during the humid season,” Anakin said because that would help anyone but Atton. “Clearly the children can’t stay like this. You could try to potty train them but that, frankly, takes the kind of alcohol we can’t provide to students.”

Deadpool nodded enthusiastically at that. "There was this time with Jan--wait, you kids don't need to know that story. Cliff Notes: we had to get a new couch."

Ew.

"So, you all are gonna learn how well a kid who is old enough to walk around does when you have to change them. Here's a hint: not well. Hint number two: oh god, what is that brown smudge on the wall? Hint three: It's not chocolate."

“Ew,” Anakin said, making a face. “That was not my modification. Also Juliet peed on the dog last week. I’m not sure who was more upset--there was a lot of crying from everyone.”

"Ooo! Ooo! The dog," Deadpool suggested. "I know the score here."

They were the worst teachers ever on this subject, you know. Or the best. One of those two.

“Anyway,” Anakin said. “This is a diaper.” He held one up. “The tabby things go around their waists. Do not substitute or augment with duct tape, staples, or--no matter how much they beg--sparkly princess stickers.”

Deadpool made a sad face at the no on duct tape being used. Because it was amazing, Anakin. Amazing. "Soooo, you kids are gonna practice on some children who have not had naps and drank way too much apple juice leading up to this. Because it's not a challenge without adding a few fun things in there."

“If you must, you may watch a brief instructional video for more details,” Anakin concluded. Too bad it was about making a baby out of diapers instead of diapering a baby.

Oops?