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fandomhigh2012-05-14 02:34 pm
boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-05-14 02:34 pm
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Diversity and You, Class #2, Period #2, May 14th
"Congratulations on making the right decision and coming back to class," Callie said. Demons were to big egos as cats were to ... big egos. "Not that today's class is particularly interesting, but we actually have a topic, and more importantly, you get to spend more time around me. That's more educational than any of this PowerPoint crap I mocked up."
Callie was a fabulous teacher. Would an un-fabulous teacher have made PowerPoint slides? Really, now.
"All right," she said, taking the clicker in hand and going to her first slide. "We're going to start with the basics, since some of you are from different worlds and who knows if half of you even know what zombies are. Zombies are the undead. They have greenish, bluish, rotting skin, occasionally with bones appearing, and their eyes are ... well, let's take a look."
"I'm not sure whether zombies have a higher pain tolerance than the living, or if they're just used to it by now, but you can rip someone's arm off and beat him with it and he'll still be making smartass remarks." If that sounded like a strangely specific anecdote ... never mind. "They can survive decapitation and dismemberment, but their limbs decay, since they're technically dead. So bits of them rot and fall off constantly, which means the upkeep is a hassle."
She was clicking through slides as she talked. "There's a thriving business in body shops for the zombie community, from basic skin grafts to full-on replacements, like if your lower half were to be hit by a bus. Zombies usually have the money to pay; they make good employees because they don't sleep and, again, high pain tolerance, but they usually get crappy jobs because no one really wants them, say, serving you at a high-class restaurant. A stray thumb in your soup is going to really dampen the meal."
Ugh.
"But I'm getting ahead of myself. A long time ago, before Integration, zombies lived in the shadows. Humans didn't like that, and zombies didn't like having no rights. It all boiled over. That was the the Zombie War." The slideshow's pictures were now both grainy and gruesome, depicting soldiers fighting against zombies against a thick jungle; to many of the students from the right time period and world, they might recall images of Vietnam.
"It was brutal. It was ugly. I won't lie, it was a great time for demonfolk. At the end, zombies were integrated, and attained basic human rights. Some of the hold-outs had just been due to the usual culprits -- fear of what's different, the need to cast the 'other' as monster to create internal unity. Never underestimate those, kids, you can exploit them all the way to the bank. At the same time, there was the very rational concern that zombies do like to eat human brains. It's hard to integrate into society with something that does, in fact, want to eat you while you sleep."
"And this is where corporations saved the day. There are synthetic brain and flesh products on the market. Cow and other mammalian brains are sold freely in grocery stores and many restaurants as substitutions to zombie meals. It's a happily ever after scenario. Companies hire zombies, zombies work, zombies give their money to other companies to buy goods and products, everybody wins."
She smirked. "So tell that to your hippie friends the next time they tell you corporations are evil. I mean, we are evil. Most of us. That's not the point. Now! Who wants to try some Flesh Toast?"
Callie was a fabulous teacher. Would an un-fabulous teacher have made PowerPoint slides? Really, now.
"All right," she said, taking the clicker in hand and going to her first slide. "We're going to start with the basics, since some of you are from different worlds and who knows if half of you even know what zombies are. Zombies are the undead. They have greenish, bluish, rotting skin, occasionally with bones appearing, and their eyes are ... well, let's take a look."
"I'm not sure whether zombies have a higher pain tolerance than the living, or if they're just used to it by now, but you can rip someone's arm off and beat him with it and he'll still be making smartass remarks." If that sounded like a strangely specific anecdote ... never mind. "They can survive decapitation and dismemberment, but their limbs decay, since they're technically dead. So bits of them rot and fall off constantly, which means the upkeep is a hassle."
She was clicking through slides as she talked. "There's a thriving business in body shops for the zombie community, from basic skin grafts to full-on replacements, like if your lower half were to be hit by a bus. Zombies usually have the money to pay; they make good employees because they don't sleep and, again, high pain tolerance, but they usually get crappy jobs because no one really wants them, say, serving you at a high-class restaurant. A stray thumb in your soup is going to really dampen the meal."
Ugh.
"But I'm getting ahead of myself. A long time ago, before Integration, zombies lived in the shadows. Humans didn't like that, and zombies didn't like having no rights. It all boiled over. That was the the Zombie War." The slideshow's pictures were now both grainy and gruesome, depicting soldiers fighting against zombies against a thick jungle; to many of the students from the right time period and world, they might recall images of Vietnam.
"It was brutal. It was ugly. I won't lie, it was a great time for demonfolk. At the end, zombies were integrated, and attained basic human rights. Some of the hold-outs had just been due to the usual culprits -- fear of what's different, the need to cast the 'other' as monster to create internal unity. Never underestimate those, kids, you can exploit them all the way to the bank. At the same time, there was the very rational concern that zombies do like to eat human brains. It's hard to integrate into society with something that does, in fact, want to eat you while you sleep."
"And this is where corporations saved the day. There are synthetic brain and flesh products on the market. Cow and other mammalian brains are sold freely in grocery stores and many restaurants as substitutions to zombie meals. It's a happily ever after scenario. Companies hire zombies, zombies work, zombies give their money to other companies to buy goods and products, everybody wins."
She smirked. "So tell that to your hippie friends the next time they tell you corporations are evil. I mean, we are evil. Most of us. That's not the point. Now! Who wants to try some Flesh Toast?"
Re: Class Activity - Nom Nom Nom Zombie Food! - DIV02
Re: Class Activity - Nom Nom Nom Zombie Food! - DIV02