Diversity and You, Class #2, Period #2, May 14th

[boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com]

"Congratulations on making the right decision and coming back to class," Callie said. Demons were to big egos as cats were to ... big egos. "Not that today's class is particularly interesting, but we actually have a topic, and more importantly, you get to spend more time around me. That's more educational than any of this PowerPoint crap I mocked up."

Callie was a fabulous teacher. Would an un-fabulous teacher have made PowerPoint slides? Really, now.

"All right," she said, taking the clicker in hand and going to her first slide. "We're going to start with the basics, since some of you are from different worlds and who knows if half of you even know what zombies are. Zombies are the undead. They have greenish, bluish, rotting skin, occasionally with bones appearing, and their eyes are ... well, let's take a look."



"I'm not sure whether zombies have a higher pain tolerance than the living, or if they're just used to it by now, but you can rip someone's arm off and beat him with it and he'll still be making smartass remarks." If that sounded like a strangely specific anecdote ... never mind. "They can survive decapitation and dismemberment, but their limbs decay, since they're technically dead. So bits of them rot and fall off constantly, which means the upkeep is a hassle."

She was clicking through slides as she talked. "There's a thriving business in body shops for the zombie community, from basic skin grafts to full-on replacements, like if your lower half were to be hit by a bus. Zombies usually have the money to pay; they make good employees because they don't sleep and, again, high pain tolerance, but they usually get crappy jobs because no one really wants them, say, serving you at a high-class restaurant. A stray thumb in your soup is going to really dampen the meal."

Ugh.

"But I'm getting ahead of myself. A long time ago, before Integration, zombies lived in the shadows. Humans didn't like that, and zombies didn't like having no rights. It all boiled over. That was the the Zombie War." The slideshow's pictures were now both grainy and gruesome, depicting soldiers fighting against zombies against a thick jungle; to many of the students from the right time period and world, they might recall images of Vietnam.



"It was brutal. It was ugly. I won't lie, it was a great time for demonfolk. At the end, zombies were integrated, and attained basic human rights. Some of the hold-outs had just been due to the usual culprits -- fear of what's different, the need to cast the 'other' as monster to create internal unity. Never underestimate those, kids, you can exploit them all the way to the bank. At the same time, there was the very rational concern that zombies do like to eat human brains. It's hard to integrate into society with something that does, in fact, want to eat you while you sleep."

"And this is where corporations saved the day. There are synthetic brain and flesh products on the market. Cow and other mammalian brains are sold freely in grocery stores and many restaurants as substitutions to zombie meals. It's a happily ever after scenario. Companies hire zombies, zombies work, zombies give their money to other companies to buy goods and products, everybody wins."

She smirked. "So tell that to your hippie friends the next time they tell you corporations are evil. I mean, we are evil. Most of us. That's not the point. Now! Who wants to try some Flesh Toast?"

Comments

Before Class - DIV02

[boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com]

Get your chatter on. ... Try not to puke on people. I just like this icon.

Sign In - DIV02

[boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com]

Dead, undead, or punching a zombie right in his smug fucking face, Randall.

Re: Sign In - DIV02

[myownface]

Sparkle

Re: Sign In - DIV02

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam Puckett

Re: Sign In - DIV02

[3girls-1core.livejournal.com]

Sholeh Zeela a Zhahar

During the Lecture - DIV02

[boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com]

Consider the fate of zombies. And if you want to be one or not. That's coming up on the discussion questions. SPOILER ALERT.

Re: During the Lecture - DIV02

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam . . . was actually taking notes. They were terrible notes, because she kind of had never taken any before, like, ever, but they were there.

Yes, they were on manipulating people to do things based on fear of the other and a need for internal unity. What was your point?

Re: During the Lecture - DIV02

[monkeymonkeydie.livejournal.com]

Bucky's "notes" for the class lecture ended up consisting entirely of titles for possible movies about working zombies.

Night of the Working Dead
Paycheck of the Dead
Resident Menial (Laborer)
28 Working Days Later
...

Of course, the list stopped abruptly as soon as he heard Callie say "Flesh Toast"

Class Activity - Nom Nom Nom Zombie Food! - DIV02

[boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com]

"Okay, kids, gather round," she said, gesturing to a side table that had a few boxes of food set out. "These are zombie snacks. They're not just fun and quirky, they can also save your life if a zombie who doesn't have his cravings under control comes after you."

"On the far left: Flesh Toast. I give it a four, it tastes more like wet cardboard waffles. That pack of gum up front is Skin-a-Burst gum. The same company makes Big Red Cells for vampires who are trying to stay on the wagon. Skin-a-Burst is pretty good for the first few minutes and then it looses its flavor really quickly; same with Big Red Cells. The next big box: Cadaver-Os cereal. Not sure why they're staying with a breakfast theme, especially since zombies can't sleep. Seems like rubbing it in. Cadaver-Os are way too dry in my opinion but at least they're not flesh toast. And lastly, that jar there contains Soy Brain. Note that it's even brain-shaped, for the whole experience. I'm not big on brains, so I haven't dabbled in Soy Brains thus far. No review from me."

Hey, was the class sufficiently creeped out yet?

"So. Anybody game? It's just toast, and cereal, and gum, that people have flavored; it's 100% synthetic. No cannibalism required. It's not mandatory that anyone try anything, but I do reserve the right to roll my eyes at all of you if nobody steps up."

And with that, she opened the box of Cadaver-Os and popped a couple into her mouth.

Re: Class Activity - Nom Nom Nom Zombie Food! - DIV02

[myownface]

... Oh, shit. Sparkle was totally game, here.

"So, they ever put anything on this toast stuff?" Because he was totally grabbing a slice of Flesh Toast and taking a bite. Food was totally meant to be taken as a challenge, right? "Needs peanut butter."

Re: Class Activity - Nom Nom Nom Zombie Food! - DIV02

[boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com]

"I'd go for maple syrup," she said, sizing Sparkle up. He was totally gaining Minion status as of right now. He knew that, right? Just because she wasn't acting blase, didn't mean she wasn't impressed. "What's the verdict? Wet cardboard? Are you getting any hint of skin at all?"

Re: Class Activity - Nom Nom Nom Zombie Food! - DIV02

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam took a picture of the soy brain, then looked around for someone to dare to eat it. Hey, if she could get a picture of that, she'd actually have her homework done for a class. Which would be another first for her.

Re: Class Activity - Nom Nom Nom Zombie Food! - DIV02

[3girls-1core.livejournal.com]

=I dare you to eat that.= Zeela was apparently in fine form today.

::Ugh, no,:: Sholeh said, grimacing at a piece of flesh toast. ::But I can bring some home and you can eat it.::

*No way,* Zhahar said, putting her purely metaphorical foot down. *No one is eating that. Because we share a stomach and just--no.*

Re: Class Activity - Nom Nom Nom Zombie Food! - DIV02

[monkeymonkeydie.livejournal.com]

Bucky clambered up onto the table and swiped a piece of Flesh Toast. "Gimme that!" He nibbled at it a bit and frowned. "This tastes nothing LIKE flesh," he complained.

Class Discussion - To Zombie, or Not To Zombie - DIV02

[boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com]

"So, you get to live just about indefinitely," Callie said, after the hubbub of Snack Time had settled down. "But you look gross, and your body falls apart constantly. Most of humanity -- if you were human before -- doesn't want anything more to do with you. Is it worth it?

"Some people have done great things as zombies. Abraham Lincoln, post-assassination, has been involved in all kinds of do-gooder charity works, like Rainbows for Leprechauns and helping minotaurs escape from labyrinths. He hasn't gone back to the theater, though, and can you blame him?" Callie lifted her shoulders. "On the other hand, you either live off that slop, content yourself with cow brains, or you start gnawing hopefully on your friend's heads. And I gotta say, I'd be strange if I didn't sleep any more. So. Would you go zombie? Why or why not? And if so, what would you do with all the time in the world?"

Re: Class Discussion - To Zombie, or Not To Zombie - DIV02

[myownface]

"Tasted the food, and I like sleep way too much," Sparkle noted. "I'm going to have to say no way, and I'll just enjoy life while I have it."

A beat.

"Besides, I get all grossed out when I have crud under my fingernails. I'd go nuts if I had to deal with rotting all the time."

Re: Class Discussion - To Zombie, or Not To Zombie - DIV02

[hurtingzeebo]

"Immortality's overrated," Sam decided. "It'd be better to convince a bunch of other people to become zombies and then do all your gross work for you."

Re: Class Discussion - To Zombie, or Not To Zombie - DIV02

[3girls-1core.livejournal.com]

Sholeh was just going to sit at her desk and shake her head. A lot.

Re: Class Discussion - To Zombie, or Not To Zombie - DIV02

[monkeymonkeydie.livejournal.com]

Just THINKING about turning into a zombie made Bucky feel unclean. So, being a cat, he started bathing himself.

And then he forgot the question. "Hey, you stopped yammering. Is class over, or do I have to do something now?"

Re: Class Discussion - To Zombie, or Not To Zombie - DIV02

[crapatnetball.livejournal.com]

"Speaking as a member of the already undead," Thelma said. "I think I will pass on the zombification. Beauty before physical form, thank you very much."

Talk to the TAs - DIV02

[boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com]

If they are here, then this is where they will be. It is like a Zen koan.

Talk to Seifer

[knight-fatali.livejournal.com]

Who was just going to stand here and stare at the food, contemplating mailing some of it to the people back in Garden.

He was betting Zell could get through most of a box of Cadaver-Os before asking what they were.

Re: Talk to the TAs - DIV02

[geewhizfellas.livejournal.com]

Today's class made Butters shudder a little bit, bringing up the horrible clamato juice taste of drinking blood, back when he was Ungroundable. But he supposed that's what diversity was all about, sometimes stomaching things that taste really, really bad...

Talk to Callie - DIV02

[boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com]

She is impressed that she didn't get more personal digs in about Randall. Maybe she'll call him later and bitch him out over the phone just to compensate.

OOC - DIV02

[boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com]

She nearly sniped a bit about "plus they are lazy worthless assholes who videotape you having sex without your permission" but I really couldn't work it in.

Sorry this went up late -- weekend out-of-town with mondo driving plus radio last night equals I was exhausted and crashed zomg.