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fandomhigh2012-05-14 06:04 pm
scary-jeff.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-05-14 06:04 pm
Entry tags:
Relationship Ed, Monday
Today, Jeff wasn't just in the classroom - he was actually making use of the blackboard as if he were a proper teacher and everything. Be proud, students! Be proud!
He had written three letters on the board. Three big, important letters. N.A.T.
As soon as everyone had entered, he took out a laser pointer and pointed the little dot at the letters in turn. "Nose... avoidance... tilting," he said, drawing out every word like it was the most important thing in the world. "It's the gateway to intimate squelching! This is where every relationship starts. If you've made it through the hello bit, this is the next big hurdle!"
Yes. Indeed.
"It's that moment where you catch someone, or run into them, or stand really close, and they sort of tilt their head a bit, and you tilt your head a bit. It could turn into a kiss, but it isn't a kiss! Yet!"
This was important!
"Though if N.A.T. does immediately lead to a kiss, this isn't a terrible thing," Jeff was quick to assure them. "Your mother isn't actually monitoring everything you do, waiting to attack you with a miniature guillotine if you kiss a woman." Beat. "Or a man. So it's safe! It's completely safe."
Thank you, Jeff. No one had been worried about but you.
"Now, N.A.T. is not an exact science," he continued. "How can you be sure if there's N.A.T.? Maybe she's just trying to see if you've got hair coming out of your nose. Maybe you've actually just acquired a really large freckle. Maybe you've got mustard stuck on your lip and she's actually really disturbed by it."
He gestured towards a stack of hand puppets. "Since making you all practice on each other is illegal and everything," he said, "I brought puppets! So you can all pick a partner and, er, have a conversation, and then if the moment feels right, the puppets can do N.A.T. Or examine each other's moles, if the conversation went badly."
He beamed at the class. "It's all about practice!" he said. "N.A.T. is no laughing matter."
Uh-huh, Jeff.
He had written three letters on the board. Three big, important letters. N.A.T.
As soon as everyone had entered, he took out a laser pointer and pointed the little dot at the letters in turn. "Nose... avoidance... tilting," he said, drawing out every word like it was the most important thing in the world. "It's the gateway to intimate squelching! This is where every relationship starts. If you've made it through the hello bit, this is the next big hurdle!"
Yes. Indeed.
"It's that moment where you catch someone, or run into them, or stand really close, and they sort of tilt their head a bit, and you tilt your head a bit. It could turn into a kiss, but it isn't a kiss! Yet!"
This was important!
"Though if N.A.T. does immediately lead to a kiss, this isn't a terrible thing," Jeff was quick to assure them. "Your mother isn't actually monitoring everything you do, waiting to attack you with a miniature guillotine if you kiss a woman." Beat. "Or a man. So it's safe! It's completely safe."
Thank you, Jeff. No one had been worried about but you.
"Now, N.A.T. is not an exact science," he continued. "How can you be sure if there's N.A.T.? Maybe she's just trying to see if you've got hair coming out of your nose. Maybe you've actually just acquired a really large freckle. Maybe you've got mustard stuck on your lip and she's actually really disturbed by it."
He gestured towards a stack of hand puppets. "Since making you all practice on each other is illegal and everything," he said, "I brought puppets! So you can all pick a partner and, er, have a conversation, and then if the moment feels right, the puppets can do N.A.T. Or examine each other's moles, if the conversation went badly."
He beamed at the class. "It's all about practice!" he said. "N.A.T. is no laughing matter."
Uh-huh, Jeff.
Practice N.A.T.! With Hand Puppets!
Re: Practice N.A.T.! With Hand Puppets!
She hadn't really found the nose factor to be a problem in her limited experience, but now that it had been brought up she suspected it would be all she could think about.
She shrugged and picked a puppet with a tiara and fluffy pink dress anyhow. Maybe Lady Arabella would have better luck.
Re: Practice N.A.T.! With Hand Puppets!
Well, okay then.
Looking distinctly uneasy about this assignment, he could only hope that there would be an odd number of students and therefore no partner for him. Please?
Re: Practice N.A.T.! With Hand Puppets!
She was looking at the hand puppets in dismay. Hand puppets were kids' activities. She wasn't going to make one make out with anything. Maybe she could skip this one? She was already well-practiced here.