Ronan Nolan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
not_in_the_book) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2012-05-14 12:35 pm
not_in_the_book) wrote in fandomhigh2012-05-14 12:35 pm
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Philosophy of Choice [Monday | Period 1]
Ronan was looking a little haggard at the front of the class today, but he put on a smile and said, "Good morning, class. I hope you all had a more restful weekend than I did. A word of advice: never play t'krei with a Demisiv."
Because you'd all know what that meant, clearly.
"Today's lecture is about the flipside of last week's: when do you make the decision to sacrifice yourself for others? From what I heard last week, I feel like for some of you the answer is 'always.' That it's your first choice. I have to admit, it's often the first choice for me, too, as one of my world's wizard.
"But that doesn't mean it should be: that it should be everyone's first choice, or that it should be the first choice in every situation. And even if you've come to put others before you, it might not always have been as easy as you might find it now."
It should never be easy, Ronan though, but he had too few illusions about Fandom's students to wonder how many of them would throw themselves headlong into danger if it meant the merest chance to save someone else.
"One of the first major encounters I had, after becoming a wizard, was a reconstruction of the Battle of Moytura. For those of you not familiar with Irish mythology, the Battle of Moytura was fought against the Fomori, twisted creatures under the command of the giant Balor. Balor had one tiny eye and one large, the first shrunk down to make room for the second, which when opened would blast the land and all upon it."
Ronan hopped down off his desk and started scratching out a few notes on the blackboard. "Balor, in my world, is an incarnation of the Lone Power -- basically, the source of death in the universe. All the Irish wizards rose up against him, as well as a few American wizards who'd come across for a visit. We had weapons on our side, the four treasures: Fragarach, the sword, to cut between worlds; the cauldron, to revive our wounded; the Lia Fail, the stone of destiny, to hold the ground together; and, in my hand, the spear of Lugh, ready to be thrown and strike down Balor.
"But it was quiet in my hand. Throwing the spear meant accepting something within myself that I was afraid to: the One's Champion had chosen me as an avatar, but to make use of the spear and save Ireland I had to give myself over to it, which risked destroying everything that was me. It was something I'd agreed to do, when I took up the mantle of wizard, but no choice is final. I could have turned it down, stepped back, and let someone else step up to take over. It wouldn't have been as effective, and it might not have worked at all, but someone would have. The question was, could I live with myself afterwards if I made that choice?
"In the end, I chose the Champion, and the spear, and struck Balor down, though not before others had died in the battle. I don't know that I could have saved them even had I chosen earlier, but that's something that will stay with me for rest of my life: could I have?
"But that's my choice," Ronan finished. "I decided to risk everything I am because it was the best, though not the only, way to end the battle and win. What would you do, though? Have you been faced with a decision like that before? If not, how do you think you might choose, and why?"
[Wait for OCD is up!]
Because you'd all know what that meant, clearly.
"Today's lecture is about the flipside of last week's: when do you make the decision to sacrifice yourself for others? From what I heard last week, I feel like for some of you the answer is 'always.' That it's your first choice. I have to admit, it's often the first choice for me, too, as one of my world's wizard.
"But that doesn't mean it should be: that it should be everyone's first choice, or that it should be the first choice in every situation. And even if you've come to put others before you, it might not always have been as easy as you might find it now."
It should never be easy, Ronan though, but he had too few illusions about Fandom's students to wonder how many of them would throw themselves headlong into danger if it meant the merest chance to save someone else.
"One of the first major encounters I had, after becoming a wizard, was a reconstruction of the Battle of Moytura. For those of you not familiar with Irish mythology, the Battle of Moytura was fought against the Fomori, twisted creatures under the command of the giant Balor. Balor had one tiny eye and one large, the first shrunk down to make room for the second, which when opened would blast the land and all upon it."
Ronan hopped down off his desk and started scratching out a few notes on the blackboard. "Balor, in my world, is an incarnation of the Lone Power -- basically, the source of death in the universe. All the Irish wizards rose up against him, as well as a few American wizards who'd come across for a visit. We had weapons on our side, the four treasures: Fragarach, the sword, to cut between worlds; the cauldron, to revive our wounded; the Lia Fail, the stone of destiny, to hold the ground together; and, in my hand, the spear of Lugh, ready to be thrown and strike down Balor.
"But it was quiet in my hand. Throwing the spear meant accepting something within myself that I was afraid to: the One's Champion had chosen me as an avatar, but to make use of the spear and save Ireland I had to give myself over to it, which risked destroying everything that was me. It was something I'd agreed to do, when I took up the mantle of wizard, but no choice is final. I could have turned it down, stepped back, and let someone else step up to take over. It wouldn't have been as effective, and it might not have worked at all, but someone would have. The question was, could I live with myself afterwards if I made that choice?
"In the end, I chose the Champion, and the spear, and struck Balor down, though not before others had died in the battle. I don't know that I could have saved them even had I chosen earlier, but that's something that will stay with me for rest of my life: could I have?
"But that's my choice," Ronan finished. "I decided to risk everything I am because it was the best, though not the only, way to end the battle and win. What would you do, though? Have you been faced with a decision like that before? If not, how do you think you might choose, and why?"
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Listen to the Lecture
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In short... he didn't know.
Re: Listen to the Lecture
If he wouldn't sacrifice someone else to save the lives of strangers, why the hell should he sacrifice himself? And then he couldn't help but think of the talk he'd had with Ender on the beach, that these questions were all hypotheticals, and it was easy enough to speculate, but even he couldn't be sure until he was actually in that position, right?
Well, even so, Sparkle was pretty sure he was sure about this one.
The Question
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He'd fought hard enough to stay alive this long. He had.
"Saving Ireland or Canada or whatever, sure, that's great. But that's not for me. Pass."
Sparkle didn't care. Sparkle refused to care. Except that he cared a little too much, and if he let anybody see it, maybe they'd expect him to, and no. No goddamn way. So he'd care and not care and if people didn't think they could depend on him for anything, then all the better, at least they wouldn't be disappointed later if he fucked it all up somehow.
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And then, a moment later, he was returning the almost-a-smile with a big, balls-to-the-wall shit-eating grin. Because Sparkle didn't do things like smiles in half-measures, here.
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She added that last bit without really thinking. Normally, she wouldn't have said anything about her limits due to her illness.
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But, still...Sacrificing herself meant more than just her. If she agreed to something like the teacher had, she'd be putting her sisters in danger, too.
"I would do it to save my sisters," Sholeh said, because she couldn't imagine the grief of surviving one of them. "But I don't think I would otherwise."
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This wasn't as easy as deciding whether or not to save a friend. That was simple. Or maybe not simple, but at least he knew the answer to that one.
"I mean, I'd like to think I'd step up and save the world, or whatever it was that needed saving. But I might bolt instead." He wouldn't, not really. Not if he really believed he needed to do something. But it was easier not giving himself the credit.
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OOC