Anakin Skywalker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sith_happened) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2012-05-10 09:35 am
sith_happened) wrote in fandomhigh2012-05-10 09:35 am
Entry tags:
Childcare For Dummies [Thursday, May 10, 2012]
The classroom’s walls were brightly colored, and there were books, toys, and far too many stickers strewn about on tables just the right height for normal-sized humans to crack their shins into. There was also, should anyone be the sort to not wear shoes, a minefield of lego pieces scattered all around.
Just be glad they weren't making you kids walk through that classroom in the dark.
Yet. That was more advanced-level work. There was a distinct aroma of spilled apple juice and someone who hadn’t quite made it to the potty on time. Look, your teachers were just really dedicated to the authentic experience. You should all be glad they cared that much about your education.
“This is ‘Don’t Screw Up a Kid Too Badly’ class,” Anakin told him from where he was perched precariously in a bean bag chair.
Deadpool on the other hand, wasn't doing so well in his beanbag chair. Something about not having fruity Jedi powers. But that was neither here nor there. "As the man said, we're gonna show you how to raise a--semi-normal child in an environment such as Fandom. Where kids might randomly wake up to find that mommy and daddy have turned into small monsters that are forced to fight against each other in a vicious battle. Or their douchey clone who never wears a shirt."
A beat.
"Hypothetically speaking."
“Or cries all the time,” Anakin said, making a face. “Also hypothetically. The most important thing to learn about small children is that they have the attention span of a monkey-lizard on glitterstim, so you have to have at least four things for them to be doing ready at all times, or else they will find something to do. Like climb the bookcase, or let the dog out the front door, or paint the sofa with glitter puffy paint.”
"One time they might, hypothetically, end up trying to make breakfast with everything in the freezer because they're like these horrible monsters that want food all the time," Deadpool added. "I don't even know how she got into the freezer!"
Anakin snorted. “To get you used to this, we have a series of activities set up and we will ring a buzzer--” an insanely loud buzzer, “--to let you know when you need to switch to a new activity.”
"And for the love of all that is holy, don't eat the--!*($#@--what was that? Oh god, am I back in the comics code rules again?" Deadpool asked, grabbing at his throat. "No! I want back to MAX rules! Where I can stab everyone and say things like &$*#! And %@#*!"
Anakin stared at him. “This happens some times,” he said, vaguely apologetic. He clapped his hands and thehorrifying horrifying sounds of a purple dinosaur singing about how much he loved you echoed through the room. “No children today. We’re starting you off easy.”
They weren’t.
Just be glad they weren't making you kids walk through that classroom in the dark.
Yet. That was more advanced-level work. There was a distinct aroma of spilled apple juice and someone who hadn’t quite made it to the potty on time. Look, your teachers were just really dedicated to the authentic experience. You should all be glad they cared that much about your education.
“This is ‘Don’t Screw Up a Kid Too Badly’ class,” Anakin told him from where he was perched precariously in a bean bag chair.
Deadpool on the other hand, wasn't doing so well in his beanbag chair. Something about not having fruity Jedi powers. But that was neither here nor there. "As the man said, we're gonna show you how to raise a--semi-normal child in an environment such as Fandom. Where kids might randomly wake up to find that mommy and daddy have turned into small monsters that are forced to fight against each other in a vicious battle. Or their douchey clone who never wears a shirt."
A beat.
"Hypothetically speaking."
“Or cries all the time,” Anakin said, making a face. “Also hypothetically. The most important thing to learn about small children is that they have the attention span of a monkey-lizard on glitterstim, so you have to have at least four things for them to be doing ready at all times, or else they will find something to do. Like climb the bookcase, or let the dog out the front door, or paint the sofa with glitter puffy paint.”
"One time they might, hypothetically, end up trying to make breakfast with everything in the freezer because they're like these horrible monsters that want food all the time," Deadpool added. "I don't even know how she got into the freezer!"
Anakin snorted. “To get you used to this, we have a series of activities set up and we will ring a buzzer--” an insanely loud buzzer, “--to let you know when you need to switch to a new activity.”
"And for the love of all that is holy, don't eat the--!*($#@--what was that? Oh god, am I back in the comics code rules again?" Deadpool asked, grabbing at his throat. "No! I want back to MAX rules! Where I can stab everyone and say things like &$*#! And %@#*!"
Anakin stared at him. “This happens some times,” he said, vaguely apologetic. He clapped his hands and the
They weren’t.
Sign in [5/10]
Re: Sign in [5/10]
Re: Sign in [5/10]
Re: Sign in [5/10]
Re: Sign in [5/10]
Re: Sign in [5/10]
Re: Sign in [5/10]
Re: Sign in [5/10]
Re: Sign in [5/10]
no subject
Percy Jackson
Re: Sign in [5/10]
Re: Sign in [5/10]
Activities [5/10]
Re: Activities: Tea Party
Re: Activities: Tea Party
And maybe it would have been, except the hat Juliet had to wear to drink imaginary tea itched. Besides, it was hard to keep up your end of a conversation opposite a stuffed bear.
Re: Activities: Tea Party
Re: Activities: Tea Party
Re: Activities: Tea Party
Atton was silently cursing the guy he'd paid off to get him enrolled here as he sipped from an empty teacup.
Maybe he could sneak in something to drink next time.
no subject
Re: Activities: Tea Party
... Make-believe games were sort of a key to retaining one's sanity in the places that Sparkle had lived over the years.
"Anyone got the cream?"
Re: Activities: Watch Barney
Re: Activities: Watch Barney
Re: Activities: Watch Barney
Re: Activities: Watch Barney
For now, though, she gritted her teeth and silently planned the thing's death.
no subject
Re: Activities: Watch Barney
Also, dinosaurs. Dinosaurs were pretty superawesome.
Re: Activities: Snack Time
Re: Activities: Snack Time
Guess who was now covered in fruit juice. Go ahead, guess.
Re: Activities: Snack Time
With enough practice, she thought, she should be able to do that much faster without any incidents.*
* She was wrong, of course. Susan was suffering** from something called "beginner's luck."
** Suffering because the next time you tried it thinking it was easy, you were doomed to end up with twice as much juice on your person.
Re: Activities: Snack Time
Mmm, cheesy.
Re: Activities: Arts and Crafts
Re: Activities: Arts and Crafts
By the end of the class, she was also quite covered in glitter.
Re: Activities: Arts and Crafts
Well, cursed their names as much as one could when censorship was running rampant.
Re: Activities: Arts and Crafts
Now Sparkle was covered in sparkles.
Sigh.
Re: Activities: Playtime
Re: Activities: Playtime
It wasn't going terribly well because of the almost constant interruption of the buzzer.
Re: Activities: Playtime
Susan decided that in this case, she would use the doll as an example of how people were fine even if they were different and neckless. Or maybe she'd just borrow some of the glitter glue since she was covered in it anyway.
Re: Activities: Playtime
How did he know the name of Barbie's kid sister?
Your face, that's how.
Talk to your teachers [5/10]
Re: Talk to your teachers [5/10]
That thought was making Deadpool grin way too much, though. Share his pain, kids. Share it.
OOC