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fandomhigh2012-03-14 11:07 am
olympian-herc.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-03-14 11:07 am
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Practical Mythology, 3/14/12, Period 2, [Class Session 10]
It had been awhile since Hercules had properly taught the class, but he showed no embarrassment at this fact as he stood in front of the class in a normal classroom this week.
"Today we're going to discuss my least favorite mythical subject of all time," he said, starting to draw on the board with chalk. Once he finished drawing a near-child level drawing of Zeus's head, he turned around.
"My father," Herc declared, pointing at the drawing of his face. "We are not showing a simulation of anything today, because my father is a jerk. A womanizing, stupid jerk. Let me just list for you the multitude of ways my father has used to get with mortal women."
He counted on his fingers as he went. "He disguised himself as my mom's husband in order to take her virginity, he effectively kidnapped one woman while in the shape of an eagle, he disguised himself as Artemis to get close to a woman who'd vowed to remain celibate, he seduced one woman while disguised as a bull, the time he did it as a swan, and the strangest of all, the woman he impregnated by coming to her in the form of a golden rain. That's actually how Perseus was conceived."
He shrugged. "Yeah, it's weird."
He went and picked up his chalk again and put a big X over the drawing of his dad's face. "And things were often horrible for those my father slept with. He turned one woman into a bull so that my father's wife wouldn't do anything worse, one woman burst into flames after she insisted Zeus show her his true form. And then there's all the women that Hera either struck down or transformed or... all sorts of things she did to the poor women seduced by my father. Why they received the brunt of her ire instead of my father, I do not know."
He shook his head. "My father, the head of Olympus, the complete dickface. That is the lesson of the day. And now for today's activity."
He started passing out paper and crayons. "I want you to draw what you think would be a suitable karmic punishment for my father's ways. And then share it with the class. It will be fun."
[ooc:OCD comin'! Class is in session!]
"Today we're going to discuss my least favorite mythical subject of all time," he said, starting to draw on the board with chalk. Once he finished drawing a near-child level drawing of Zeus's head, he turned around.
"My father," Herc declared, pointing at the drawing of his face. "We are not showing a simulation of anything today, because my father is a jerk. A womanizing, stupid jerk. Let me just list for you the multitude of ways my father has used to get with mortal women."
He counted on his fingers as he went. "He disguised himself as my mom's husband in order to take her virginity, he effectively kidnapped one woman while in the shape of an eagle, he disguised himself as Artemis to get close to a woman who'd vowed to remain celibate, he seduced one woman while disguised as a bull, the time he did it as a swan, and the strangest of all, the woman he impregnated by coming to her in the form of a golden rain. That's actually how Perseus was conceived."
He shrugged. "Yeah, it's weird."
He went and picked up his chalk again and put a big X over the drawing of his dad's face. "And things were often horrible for those my father slept with. He turned one woman into a bull so that my father's wife wouldn't do anything worse, one woman burst into flames after she insisted Zeus show her his true form. And then there's all the women that Hera either struck down or transformed or... all sorts of things she did to the poor women seduced by my father. Why they received the brunt of her ire instead of my father, I do not know."
He shook his head. "My father, the head of Olympus, the complete dickface. That is the lesson of the day. And now for today's activity."
He started passing out paper and crayons. "I want you to draw what you think would be a suitable karmic punishment for my father's ways. And then share it with the class. It will be fun."
[ooc:
Sign In!
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no subject
no subject
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Talk Amongst Yourselves
Re: Talk Amongst Yourselves
Draw!
Re: Draw!
Share!
Talk to the Teacher
OOC