fandomhigh | Advanced Journalism (Tuesday, February 7

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Advanced Journalism (Tuesday, February 7 - 2nd period)

Rita sat behind her desk with very red eyes, nursing a cup of coffee.

She might have looked a tad triumphant, though.

"Good morning. Today, we talk about obituaries, which will be due tomorrow at the latest. Write forty words on someone who you know well. A good friend, perhaps, and someone you haven't written on before. And, naturally, it should be written as though they are no longer with us."

She sniffled. "Questions?"

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"Who the hell is Margaret Thatcher?" Rita snapped, looking up.

"Such language in a classroom," Nigel scold, putting his monocle back in. "You talk to your children with that mouth? Poor, poor misguided children."

Pulling sometihng about of a hidden satchel, Nigel says, "Look, I brought you a gift (http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/9848/feb72006tue062348pm2014front9y.jpg) that I hope might help you two estranged people reconcile."

Rita took one look at the shirt and buried her face in the hankie again.

"My middle name's not Alberta," she sobbed.

"There, there Professor Rita Helga Skeeter," Nigel says, putting the shirt near her so she could take it. "We all make mistakes. But you don't deny the pookie pet name. Aww, Professor, if you're in love, you should fight for it. Unless...you're not really a man and Mr. Skeeter found out, right?"

Rita just glared.

"No."

"Delightful to hear," Nigel says, laughing maybe a little too hard. "Mishaps like those a marriage cannot survive. You don't quite have the hair of a male either. Too fluffy, too bouncy. Are you...too controlling?"

"Mr. Crichton. Would you like to be a stickbug?" Rita asked, picking up her wand.

"Mr. van Susteren, dear lady." He smiles calmly and pulls a pocket watch out of his jacket. "I do say, it's nearly high noon. Shall we watch polo together or does that remind you of Wilbur as well?"

"What's polo?" Rita asked. "And I thought it was Lord van Susteren."

"Of course it's Lord but I was making an exception for you, dear lady." Nigel bows. Really, he does. "And polo is...a sport. An exciting sport. Very exciting. And alas, I am afraid I do not have the time to be turned into an animal for your leisure. Perhaps we can schedule an appointment?"

"I'm afraid I don't schedule things like that," Rita said, eyes narrowed. "Sort of a spur of the moment thing."

"Honestly, an appointment would be better for me," Nigel says, digging into his satchel again. "Let me find a free moment of time in my day planner and then I will be all yours. And, Professor, I do have preferences of what I am turned into. For instance, I do not want to be your husband or your child. Also, I would prefer to be something big enough that people cannot step on me. And, if it's not too much trouble, I am against being anything that smells. Perhaps we can draw up a contrat and make this legal and binding?"

"How about no, and I don't give you detention as well?" Rita asked aimiably.

Nigel makes a big show of checking his day planner again.

"Detention doesn't fit this weekend, dear lady. I'm going to see a curling match downtown and those tickets aren't cheap. I had to sell my best pair of penny loafers to acquire rink side seats. It's the Manchester Curlers versus the Nottingham...Curlers. They aren't very inventive. I will be available in about three weeks time. Does that work for you?"

Rita sighed, and flicked her wand, muttering something.

"The miniature giraffe at my house has gone missing. Perhaps we should adopt a baby elephant instead," she said, smiling at the much larger and more gray John.

Being a British type elephant is no fun! No fun at all.

Nigel attempts to protest but ends up making that sound that elephants make and waving his trunk at Professor Skeeter, attempting to grab her wand.

"Nuh uh," Rita said, smiling and holding her wand away.

Elephant!Nigel swings his trunk and knocks some desks over. And then he trundles over to Professor Skeeter's desk.

Chloe facepalms as she watches John start to destroy the classroom. "Bad elephant!"

"We can't have that," Rita sighed.

With a flick of her wand, baby elephant!John began to shrink, until he was the size of a rabbit.

Elephant!Nigel is now wee and small and not cool! He flicks his trunk at Chloe and then starts to chew on paper.

He's glaring Professor Skeeter in an elephant like way.

Rory offered the wee elephant a peanut butter cup.

"Awwww," Chloe says, leaning down to pet him. "I think you're much safer at this size. And so are we."

Elephant!Nigel or to heck with, Elephant!John gobbles up the peanut butter cup like a gobbling thing. He leans into Chloe's hand and then hides behind their legs and makes elephant-y hissing sounds at Skeeter.

"Aw. He's so little and cute," Rory said, trying to look at the tiny elephant.

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