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Tactics of War [Monday Evening]

Before I begin, I would like to say that I'm impressed with the ingenuity of those who were involved in the attack on Friday. I know little of the details, but if anyone would like to give me a full account, I would be happy to award you with extra credit for this course.

Also, Cameron Mitchell? Please see me after class, thank you.

Now, I had a long and boring lecture planned for you today (in which, of course, I expected you to plot my doom, as it would be an excellent sign of success for you as my students learning the tactics of war as one of my long term goals is to ultimately destroy this planet -- *laughter* Oh, I'm just kidding) but last night I saw this film that I vaguely remember seeing from the early 90's and I wish for you to see it and to write down three shockingly irritating tactics of either the locust-like aliens or the ridiculously stupid Americans.

Being both a commander of an invading force and ex-American military, I have GREAT irritation at this film and feel that it is a wonderful learning tool in how NOT to proceed on either (a) invasion or (b) countering such a genocidal attack.

She looks over at Aeryn and smiles.

And Miss Sun, I particularly look forward to your rather inspired point of view.

Now, please, sit quietly and watch.

Eighth puts in Independence Day

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Anakin read the note and gave Sam a wry smile.

Yeah. She told me. In detail. And at length. I'm never allowed to be thrown into a wall again.

I need to buy her a new cell phone.

He turned his attention back to the movie.

Okay, no way that his computer can talk to their computer. That's ridiculous.

Sam read the note and grinned over at him. She'd extracted a few similar promises over the years, and had them extracted from her.

No luck repairing it?

Don't even get me started on the computer. Or using the cable satellites to defeat the aliens. What if it was just a mistranslation of the light bar? Maybe they took it as an offensive tactic?

I landed on it pretty hard. Hurt like a...well, it hurt.

And speaking of offensive tactics, why didn't they just blow up the planet when they arrived? I mean, seriously.

Anakin paused, then sighed and wrote,

I have a completely random question about an Earth tradition. Could you help me out?

Or release poison gas to kill everybody on the planet, if they were there for the resources. Amateurs.

If I can. What's up?

What's Valentine's Day? I've kind of pieced together 'sex ritual' but it seems like a strange thing for a school to celebrate.

Help an out-of-towner out?

Sam's eyes nearly crossed.

Sex ritual? Who have you been talking to?

Basically, it's a day ~~created by the greeting card industry in a great conspiracy with the liquor industry to lower the self esteem of single people in an effort to get them to buy more alcohol~~ where two people who are dating, or in a relationship, can show each other how much they care about and appreciate their partner.

Practically? It usually involves some kind of gift--flowers and chocolate are standard, but it's nice if the guy can get a little more personal than that.

Um. A prostitute. Thus my theory that I hadn't gotten the full story.

Relationship stuff, huh. Got it. No relationships for me, no reason to worry about Valentine's Day.

Thanks for the information.

And what kind of alien ship is built so that one perfect shot can destroy it? I mean, I've run across them, but you'd think this sort of design flaw would be picked out early in the building stages.

Prostitute?

Yeah, definitely relationship stuff. Though I guess you could send gifts to a platonic friend, if that was your thing. It's not like the police would come arrest you. Especially not in this town.

Glad I could help.

You'd think, wouldn't you? Not to mention, if there is a flaw, don't you think it would be better protected? You can't just fly down a corridor and blow up a ship, or everyone would be doing it.

Not to mention the unprotected nature of that kind of a reaction would probably cause everyone aboard to die of radiation poisoning before they got to wherever they were going.

In town. Met her in the park. Black and white. Looked like Rory. It was strange.

I'd hate to do something that didn't go along with the tradition--give beings the wrong idea or something--but I'll keep that in mind.

I guess radiation poisoning isn't something they want to show in a movie? It's easier to have all of those pretty explosions instead.

There's a hooker in town who looks like Rory? Weird.

Oh, it doesn't have to be a public display. I forgot to mention that part.

No...radiation poisoning isn't at all pretty. Explosions, on the other hand? Yeah. Plus, they're fun.

Yeah. She's not at all like Rory. For one: black and white. For another: she threw a knife at my head.

I like Rory better.

And I'll never turn down a good explosion.

Threw a knife at your head?

I can see that.

Heh. I'll never turn down the opportunity to make one.

I ducked, but yeah. She didn't like my tone or something.

Oooh. Explosions.

Sorry. it's been a while since I've made something blow up. It tended to make my old teacher cranky.

I like Rory better too.

I understand completely. And people just tend to roll their eyes at me a lot when I talk about explosions. ~~I mean, blow up one measly sun, and you never hear the end of it. I swear.~~

It's really too bad there's nothing that needs exploding.

Anakin smiled at the first sentence.

She'll be glad to hear it.

And who doesn't like explosions? There was this one I did when I was nine years old that the politicians back home are still talking about.

Which leads back to this movie, actually. If you have a command ship that can be taken out by a nine-year-old, you're doing something wrong.

Oh, really? What'd you use?

Maybe they just need to recruit the nine-year-old?

Not to mention, where the heck did they get the computer virus in the first place? It's not like they're just lying around.

Starfighter torpedo from the hanger--it hit the reactor of the control ship.

Big boom.

Bigger lecture later.

You mean you don't carry around computer viruses just in case of an alien invasion? I've got one in my belt pouch right now...

Sam grinned when she read the note.

That would definitely do it. Nine, you say?

Ooh, you do? If it can replicate on its own, I'm changing seats.

Yup. Nine.

Then I became a Jedi. Slightly more controlled explosions now.

Heh.

Impressive.

Think the current administration would notice if something exploded?

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

I think it would depend on the size of the explosion.

Also hypothetically speaking.

What about a bunch of little explosions?

Oooh. That could work.

Hypothetically.

So, if you were looking for a hypothetical target, where would you start?

I mean, assuming there's no easily destructable mother ship lying around.

Assuming that, of course, I'd say somewhere slightly out of the way, out of the notice of general population areas, a place where things going boom wouldn't be completely unexpected.

Tactics of War [Monday Evening]

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