http://geoff-chaucer.livejournal.com/ (
geoff-chaucer.livejournal.com) wrote in
fandomhigh2006-01-24 10:26 am
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Professor Chaucer's Office Hours, Tuesday
Again, Professor Chaucer is in his office. It might seem strange that he's nursing a hangover this late in the day. But that should give you some idea of how much drinking he did last night.
Still, he's functioning if you need to talk.
Still, he's functioning if you need to talk.

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Leaning back in his chair, he says, "All right. I've got two assignments for you. First, I want you to go into my classroom and choose a book at random, then a passage at random. Read the passage, decide how it makes you feel. And then read it to me -- but make me feel the opposite of the way you think the passage is meant to be taken. If it's romantic, I want you to make me feel angry. If it's a serious sermon, I want you to make me laugh. Your second assignment is the homework (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh/543017.html#cutid1) I gave for class
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Deciding that Jane's derision is the 'true reading,' Kiki opts for Mr. Collins' earnest, logical, unromantic tones.
"My reasons for marrying are, first, that I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to set the example of matrimony in his parish; secondly, that I am convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness; and thirdly -- which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier, that it is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness. Twice has she condescended to give me her opinion (unasked too!) on this subject; and it was but the very Saturday night before I left Hunsford -- between our pools at quadrille, while Mrs. Jenkinson was arranging Miss de Bourgh's footstool -- that she said, 'Mr. Collins, you must marry. A clergyman like you must marry. -- Chuse properly, chuse a gentlewoman for my sake; and for your own, let her be an active, useful sort of person, not brought up high, but able to make a small income go a good way. This is my advice. Find such a woman as soon as you can, bring her to Hunsford, and I will visit her.' Allow me, by the way, to observe, my fair cousin, that I do not reckon the notice and kindness of Lady Catherine de Bourgh as among the least of the advantages in my power to offer. You will find her manners beyond anything I can describe; and your wit and vivacity, I think, must be acceptable to her, especially when tempered with the silence and respect which her rank will inevitably excite. Thus much for my general intention in favour of matrimony; it remains to be told why my views were directed to Longbourn instead of my own neighbourhood, where, I assure you, there are many amiable young women. But the fact is, that being, as I am, to inherit this estate after the death of your honoured father (who, however, may live many years longer), I could not satisfy myself without resolving to chuse a wife from among his daughters, that the loss to them might be as little as possible, when the melancholy event takes place -- which, however, as I have already said, may not be for several years. This has been my motive, my fair cousin, and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your esteem. And now nothing remains for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection. To fortune I am perfectly indifferent, and shall make no demand of that nature on your father, since I am well aware that it could not be complied with; and that one thousand pounds in the four per cents., which will not be yours till after your mother's decease, is all that you may ever be entitled to. On that head, therefore, I shall be uniformly silent; and you may assure youself that no ungenerous reproach shall ever pass my lips when we are married."
Kiki has nearly broken into laughter at least six times throughout this reading. In fact, by the end of it, she's nearly crying from the effort of holding it in. She sets the book down, exclaiming, "And he really thinks he's doing her a favor!"
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He's trying to hold in his own laughter, because it really is a brilliant piece of satire, and because Kiki's earnest reading especially highlighted the ridiculous nature Austen was trying to portray.
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Geoff grins. "Then all that leaves is the written assignment. And the reading, of course. But those are both due next week." He gives Kiki a copy of the lecture notes. "Did you have any questions about the reading for this week?"
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[ooc: Only because in HS, the mun argued with a fellow classics geek debating the merits of the John Ciardi vs. the Allen Mendelbaum (which I still maintain is the better). Oh yes, we were lit-dorks. Hee!]
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