Tara's office hours, Monday 10am-12pm.

[brambless.livejournal.com]

Tara is in her office, finalising the grades for her classes.

If you want to talk to her before your grade is posted, this is your last chance!

(And for any of the students who have still not replied to the last week of classes - I am still accepting slowplay until I wake tomorrow morning - evening FH time - and post the marks. There will be no class today - last week was it.)

Comments

[brambless.livejournal.com]

"Sure, Jonathan," Tara replies. She takes in his uncharacteristic fidgiting before standing and shutting the door.

Gesturing to the couch, she asks, "I noticed you didn't turn it in last week... did you have problems?"

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

"Umm, kind of?" he says, taking a seat, "I... I wanted to do something that would really... really make a difference, with me. And I didn't really feel comfortable turning it in with the rest of the class there."

He runs a nervous hand through his hair and then looks up at Tara, "I'm not making any sense am I?" he asks with a shakey smile.

[brambless.livejournal.com]

"You're doing fine," Tara says soothingly, sitting down beside him. "So you did do the assignment... do you want to tell me about it?"

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

"Umm, right," he says, "because who's to say I'm not just, like, making it up unless I... explain it to you."

He stands up and walks across the room, leaning against the wall.

"Okay, so first, I think I should clarify that I don't have a problem with homosexuals. I mean, you're pretty much my best friend and I'm nothing but happy for you and Shane. Also, I know from a psychological point of view that.. it's not wrong or anything stupid like that.

That being said though, I'm sure I don't have to explain that some one like me, the shy, bookish sort, was, often called , you know, by the other kids. And... and I never wanted them to be right... about anything but especially not about that. And my grandmother is this, really devout Episcopalian and I've been told all about the fire and brimstone that await people like... that," he pauses here and finally looks up at Tara.

"It wasn't really a problem until I came here."

[brambless.livejournal.com]

"Jonathan, I've never felt judged by you for my sexuality - and you know more than most people do about me. Just because you don't want to be gay doesn't make you homophobic..."

She stops, remembering they're not just talking. This is about an assignment. About what Jonathan wanted to change about himself to be a better person. And if he doesn't have a problem with other people in same-sex relationships, but has had a problem with people assuming he was, maybe...

No, maybe he just decided not to let other people's opinions affect him so much. Stop trying to guess. Just listen.

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

"Well, wehn I came here, people wanted to like, get to know me. I had friends and there weren't people mocking me for being a nerd all the time. And then, really early on in the school year, something kind of happened between me and a friend of mine and I was so sure it was because we were both really wasted. I mean, we agreed that's what it was and everything. And I keep telling myself it's this or that and never just, admiting it.

And when the assignment came it was the first thing that popped in my head and, and maybe I can't say it in class and I'm still a bit freaked about some one else seeing my assignment but," and he pauses here, swallowing hard before continuing, "My self directed homophobia is a problem. A bad one and I decided it had to go. So umm, my name is Jonathan Crane and I kind of, umm, like boys."

[brambless.livejournal.com]

"Jonathan..." Tara replies, a slow, sweet smile growing over her face. "I am so proud of you!"

She grins goofily for a moment, unbelievably proud of her friend and student, and incredibly moved by the fact that her assignment, her class, brought him to this realisation, or gave him the courage to admit it.

She wants to ask questions - is there someone he likes? is at the top of the list, but she manages to suppress them. It wouldn't be appropriate.

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

He smiles back, still looking a bit freaked but much less so now than he was before, "Thanks," he says, "It's... kind of weird though, you know? Because I'm the same person I was yesterday and this whole thing with boys doesn't mean I like girls any less... my grandmother would have a fit if she knew."

[brambless.livejournal.com]

"You're bisexual," Tara nods - and then grins, a little cheekily. "Which means you double your options!"

Sobering, she says softly, "Your grandmother... well, she might not understand. But that's not your problem, you know? It's hers. And just because you've admitted it to yourself doesn't mean you have to tell her yet. Just do what you're ready for."

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

He blushes at that, "Yeah, that is true I guess," he says, "of course, If I were being a pessimist I'd say I'm also doubling my chances of rejection but... I'd never do that." He smiles at her after that.

"And, yeah, not telling her anytime soon. She'd probably send me to one of those... brainwashing camps or something, you know? Where they ungay you with Bible Study, hikes in the wilderness and sleep deprivation?" he shakes his head and shrugs, "It's enough for me that I know, for now at least."

He considers her for a few moments, "So, now that you've been the responsible and supportive teacher, how did you really want to react? I won't tell if you squee."

[brambless.livejournal.com]

Tara's eyes flicker over to the door, double checking that it's closed and she can drop the teacher-mode for a few second.

Then she throws her arms around Jonathan, hugging him tightly for a brief moment before pulling away to bounce on her seat, clapping her hands delightedly. "Squeeeeee!" She feels as though her face would split open, her grin is so broad.

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

Jonathan isn't surprised at the hug and as a result doesn't mind it all that much. He smiles at her reaction. He knew it would mean something to her that he was sharing it, he just didn't know it would mean this much.

"So I suppose I can put you down firmly in the corner of being in favor of this development?" he asks sarcastically

[brambless.livejournal.com]

"Firmly," Tara nods happily, oblivious to his sarcasm and thereby making it a sarchasm!.

"And for the record? I find it hard to believe that anyone would refuse you."

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

Jonathan just laughs at that, blushing, "Of course not," he says, "I mean, who could resist? Thanks for letting me tell you in private by the way. I just don't feel comfortable talking about it in public, or even turning it in in public.

[brambless.livejournal.com]

"You're very welcome," Tara replies. "I feel so privileged that you told me. Truly."

It would be hard to doubt her, her joy unmistakable.