fandomhigh | History Class (12-09-05)

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History Class (12-09-05)

"So I hear you guys had some sorta show last night," Dewey says, disappointed. "I could've totally kicked it up with some wicked chords or something, but, y'know, whatever."

Introduction to World History to 1600 (Terran)

"Today we will have a guest to tell us all about France in the early 15th Century. You've probably seen the movies, so you know she's completely hot. I'll let her introduce herself when she gets here, but dude. This is gonna rock!"

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"Lemme know you're here or whatever."

Phoebe signs in.

Duo signs in.

Elizabeth signs in.

Piper signs in.

Alanna signs in.

Lisa signs in.

"And here she comes..."

Joan D'Arc waited for the signal, then entered the classroom. She didn't speak much English, but she knew enough from her last trip to get her by. "Hello," she greeted everyone and bowed her head in respect at the teacher.

"Joan of Arc, folks. I totally asked Bill Preston of Wyld Stallyns," air guitar, "to help me bring her in. So, um, like Joan, tell the class what it was like to be a warrior woman in medieval France."

"Please excuse my English. Have not been in practice for some time. As your portly teacher says, I am Joan D'Arc, from what you call 'France'. Women are not allowed leadership as you have here, like with woman aerobics instructors. But I do so anyway." She was at a loss of what to say. "Clothing is not so comfortable as yours."

"How many people have you like, skewered on your mighty broadsword?"

Joan looked slightly amused. "I do not count." She shook her head. "I am not meaning I cannot count, but I prefer to think of living, not as what Ted calls 'making notches'."

"What about dragons? Did you totally slay dragons?"

Joan blinked. "Dra..gon? I do not know this word."

"Right. Sorry. French chick. Um, did you totally slay les dragons?"

"I.." Joan was confused. Maybe it was the language barrier. Maybe this teacher fellow had brain fever. "Am not thinking so." Then it occurred to her. "Oh! Dragon." She pronounced it correctly, then laughed. She didn't laugh for long, because she was a serious, traumatised person who was doomed for an unfair, untimely death. Those kinds of people just didn't laugh much. "Non, only persons and horses."

"Oh. So, um, you know, you're totally doomed to..." No, sensitivity. "You might be doomed to an early death." He leans in and says in a near-whisper. "Do you really wanna die a virgin?"

Joan leaned towards him, whispering back. "You know I am a religious crusader, yes?"

"Oh, so you like it kinky, then? I can totally dress up like The Pope. I got the costume."

Joan gaped a little. "I do not think you are grasping my meanings."

"No, I got you, freaky French chick. I bet you don't shave, huh? I like that. I could totally show you a holy experience."

"You are a holy man?" Suddenly he made more sense. "Now we talk. About holy experience, which is what I seek." She wanted a holy experience so she could ask God what the heck he was on about this time. The mixed messages and waking her up in the middle of the night to chat about her destiny was getting annoying.

"Yes. That is exactly what I mean." Dewey grins and winks at the class. "Come into my confessional." He leads her to a small storage closet. "Um, yeah. Class dismissed. I'm expecting a Hallelujah chorus." He steps inside.

Joan tilted her head. If this was a confessional, things had certainly changed since her time. She stepped inside.

For a time, there is almost no sound from the closet except some rustling...

Then there is a resounding crunch, crash and thud.

"Je casserai la gueuele à fils de pute! Nique ta mère!" Joan yelled as she flung the door open. "Holy man indeed!"

Dewey crawls out of the closet. There's bruises already forming on his face. "That... was AWESOME! We should do it again! Call me?"

Phoebe is listening closely to what what of her favorite heroines from history is saying. That could be hero-worship shining in her eyes.

Duo watches and listens to everything with eyes that get increasingly wider. "Uh, Dude, Sir, whatever? Are we gonna be quizzed on this?"

Elizabeth listens carefully to what Joan has to say, and wonders if she should have offered to translate.

Piper is in awe as she listens to what Joan has to say.

Alanna has this distinct urge to draw paralles between herself and Joan. Except the whole dying young thing.

Because!

hot shit. Next up, bring up So-Crate-ease with his soap opera passion. :D
*john drags his mun away from the keyboard and makes the world a safer place*

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History Class (12-09-05)

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OOC

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