fandomhigh | Study Hall (12/07/2005)

"Musta been some GOOOD drugs, Shep darlin'."

I think you're on the good drugs. And who the hell are you? You sound like my speech prof with that 'darlin' crap.

*Shep is good and confused now and getting just the slightest bit edgy about this girl who clearly knows both him and Lana whom he has never met.*

"Nah, I ain't CJ. I probably should talk to her at some point soon."

She leans in and brushes a ghost of a kiss over him. "Bring back any memories? Of course, to do it right, you have to dodge out of the way and right into it."

"Yes you should... hopefully to set up some grammar lessons."

Shep jumps back as this girl kisses him before even introducing herself. "Now look, dear, I may have a reputation for being friendly and all... but where I'm from, most girls at least tell you their name before jumping you."

He squints at the girl, the vaguest sense of a memory coming to him, but he can't quite place it.

Lana can't help but laugh at the look on Shep's face.

Now that the cat's out of the bag... or dress as the case may be, Shep tosses his pen at Lana's head.

"You knew but you weren't gonna say anything. You were just gonna let me sweat while you kicked back and watched, huh?"

His tone is accusitory, but he's smiling.

"Yep. Figured I owed you. " She smiles at him. "Plus, you're right. It's a lot of fun."

What, dragging this out... or what Han was suggesting for the three of us?

*Shep raises an eyebrow and waits to see if she caught that part.*

Lana opens her mouth to say something, then realizes it just might incriminate her and she's not sure she wants to be quite that open - or embarrassed - in study hall.

In the primmest, most polished form imaginable, she says, "Very well, Mr. Shepphard, if my downport accent offends you, perhaps I should remove it. And since the lovely Miss Lang and I seem to be offending you as well, perhaps I should remove us from the situation as well. I was unaware a level one closed-lipped brush was considered "jumping" someone. But in the interests of preserving your reputation..." she stands up.

Now thorougly confused, Shep just watches her rise. All he can think to say is, "Lana's not offending me. And I don't think you're offending me as much as confusing the everloving crap out of me. I'm starting to get the weirdest feeling that I should know you, but I know I don't. And yet you act like I should. But again with the 'don'ting.'"

Unable to take more, she bursts out laughing. "You don't listen to the radio, huh, pal?"

She flops down on the chair beside him, the position all Han's usual sprawl, looking very odd an a girl her size. "I'm Han. I kinda woke up all girly Saturday."

"...I don't always get the chan-

You're WHO?"

Shep leans back and studies the person across from him. The facial structure and the eyes do seem remarkably Han-like.

"Dude... that has to suck. Tell me the cracked out candy from town isn't responsible for this one too."

He makes the very deliberate choice not to mention that Han has now kissed him twice... because he's not quite sure where he stands on that particular issue.

"Nah, didn't get into any candy. Went to bed all boy. Got up, all girl. Must be something in the water."

Han shrugs. "Doesn't suck too bad. At least, not when you've got a boyfriend who knows what he's doing. Just very weird and kinda annoying being all short."

Okay, note to self... stick to the milk.

And I would have assumed your boyfriend knew what he was doing before your reproductive organs moved inside for the winter. You always seemed happy enough with him.

I gotta ask... are the... are your... *waves hands at Han's chest vaguely* Are they as much fun from the inside as they are from the out?

"Yeah, but knowing what guys like and knowing what girls like are two different games."

Han's eyebrows go way up at the question. "Great fun. You wanna find out just how much fun they are from the outside?"

In the middle of study hall? What, and risk Rover coming through and rolling us both in for indecent behavior? Thanks, but I can get my cheap thrills elsewhere. And poor Lana here might end up feeling left out. *grins at Han*

Besides, and I swear we had this discussion before too... wouldn't your boyfriend kick my ass?

Han looks affronted. "How cheap do you think I am? I wasn't thinking in the middle of study hall. I don't offer these beauties to just anyone, so I wouldn't show 'em to just anyone. And Lana doesn't HAVE to be left out."

The affront melts into the Number Six: Charming the Pants off the Galaxy.
"Nah, we got an understanding and I got my permission slip signed for this field trip. Besides, he's littler than Lana."

Shep isn't sure if this is all just one-upmanship to see who will back down first, or if Han is serious. And with Lana not saying much of anything, he's kind of on his own to figure it out.

"Catch me somewhere more private and we'll see what develops," he evades.

"Maybe after shop tomorrow. Or maybe we can ruig something...fun...during open shop."

Han checks the clock. "Geo time for me. Later your two." She gets up, the cocky spacer's strut the same

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Lana has this great desire to say, "Hey, Lana doesn't want to be left out", but then she thinks about what she'd be implying. And looks at Shep and Han and thinks, maybe she'd be okay with implying that.

"I can't believe you guys are having this conversation," Lana says blushing again.

"I'd ask you, but your perception is skewed. Come on, if one of your female friends suddenly had a -" he stops suddenly and searches for euphamism that isn't *completely* base - "extra appendage, you wouldn't be asking all kinds of questions?"

"My perception is skewed?" Lana makes a face at him. "And if a friend suddenly showed up with an extra appendage... Um... honestly, I have no clue. Maybe?"

She's blushing again a bit, "I have to say it's not anything I ever considered before this moment."

Yeah, skewed. You've never been on our side of the fence. Han has.

And, in the interest of full disclosure, I've actually had the oportunity to talk to a girl who lived in a guy's body for a while. Unfortunately for her, he was still in there too, but... let's just say I overheard some of the other ladies of the community asking things you generally don't hear one woman asking another.