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fandomhigh2005-11-28 10:02 am
names-ash.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2005-11-28 10:02 am
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Ash's Art Appreciations, Lecture #9
Ash paces back and forth in front of the classroom, until he's satisfied with the number of students in the seats. He then stops pacing, opens a book, and begins reading.
He's reading "Green Eggs and Hamelt".
When he is finished, he shuts the book and asks the questions for discussion.
"Alright knuckleheads. Say you were making a still-life painting of eggs and ham, and you decided to paint the eggs green. Here are your questions:
One, would Dr. Seuss sue you?
Two, Would it be art?
Three, Would it taste good?
Four, Would you paint it on a boat?
Five, Would you paint it with a goat?
Six, Why does my TA get naked for other people?
Seven, What would Brian Boitano Do?
Eight, Who's on First?
Nine, What is the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?
Ten, Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
Eleven, Why do I keep dreaming of Leonardo Da Vinci coming back to life and beating me to death with an easel?
Twelve, What did you think of the book?
Alright, discuss!
He's reading "Green Eggs and Ham
When he is finished, he shuts the book and asks the questions for discussion.
"Alright knuckleheads. Say you were making a still-life painting of eggs and ham, and you decided to paint the eggs green. Here are your questions:
One, would Dr. Seuss sue you?
Two, Would it be art?
Three, Would it taste good?
Four, Would you paint it on a boat?
Five, Would you paint it with a goat?
Six, Why does my TA get naked for other people?
Seven, What would Brian Boitano Do?
Eight, Who's on First?
Nine, What is the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?
Ten, Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
Eleven, Why do I keep dreaming of Leonardo Da Vinci coming back to life and beating me to death with an easel?
Twelve, What did you think of the book?
Alright, discuss!
no subject
threetwelve.One, would Dr. Seuss sue you?
I can't see why the doctor would be carin' what color we be paintin' our eggs. I be not like he be the first one t'come up with the idea o' green eggs. Unless he be one of those humorless Puritan-types. In which case, he kin suck on the eggs.
Two, Would it be art?
If I be learnin' anythin' in this class, it be that more things be art than I be thinkin'. This be probably art, too.
Three, Would it taste good?
Painted food? Not as good as ye'd think. Shipwreck, deserted island, lots of paintings. Um, mayhaps I should be leavin' it thar.
Four, Would you paint it on a boat?
O'course. Thar be very few things that I be not willin' t'try on a boat.
Five, Would you paint it with a goat?
As long as the goat be not givin' his opinion about the way I be holdin' me brush or other manner of irritatin' behavior, sure.
Six, Why does my TA get naked for other people?
She be a kind 'n generous wench.
Seven, What would Brian Boitano Do?
I be not knowin' the man, but if he be havin' somethin' to do wit' why yer TA be gettin' nekkid, I can imagine what may be comin' next.
Eight, Who's on First?
I be not knowin', but I have the feelin' this might be leadin' to all manner of circuitous comments.
Nine, What is the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?
Be it under its own speed or bein' shot from a cannon?
Ten, Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
I be more interested in findin' out what be on the other side, meself.
Eleven, Why do I keep dreaming of Leonardo Da Vinci coming back to life and beating me to death with an easel?
I don't think I be fully qualified t' answer such a personal-type question.
Twelve, What did you think of the book?
I be laughin', I be cryin', I be findin' it better than Cats.