Ash's Art Appreciations, Lecture #9

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

Ash paces back and forth in front of the classroom, until he's satisfied with the number of students in the seats. He then stops pacing, opens a book, and begins reading.

He's reading "Green Eggs and Hamelt".

When he is finished, he shuts the book and asks the questions for discussion.

"Alright knuckleheads. Say you were making a still-life painting of eggs and ham, and you decided to paint the eggs green. Here are your questions:

One, would Dr. Seuss sue you?

Two, Would it be art?

Three, Would it taste good?

Four, Would you paint it on a boat?

Five, Would you paint it with a goat?

Six, Why does my TA get naked for other people?

Seven, What would Brian Boitano Do?

Eight, Who's on First?

Nine, What is the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?

Ten, Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

Eleven, Why do I keep dreaming of Leonardo Da Vinci coming back to life and beating me to death with an easel?

Twelve, What did you think of the book?


Alright, discuss!

Comments

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

One: Isn't he dead? Not that it matters around here. Aigh! Suess Zombie! It's rhyming and trying to eat my brain
Two: Let's leave Garfunkel out of this.
Three: I've never eaten paint and canvas. Is this a class requirement?
Four: I would not paint it here or nor there.
Five: I would not paint it anywhere.
Six: Perhaps you should try getting her drunk.
Seven: A triple sow-cow in tight pants
Eight: What?
Nine: An African or European swallow?
Ten: A more important question is "What's on the other side?"
Eleven: Somebody's been watching "What's eating Gilbert Grape?" too much.
Twelve:
When I first heard the reading selection I was afraid that the limitations Dr. Seuss put upon himself might have shackled his marvelous inventiveness. Quite the contrary. Restricting his vocabularyand shortening the verse story has given a certain riotous unity that is pleasing

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

((8. Third Base!))