Ash's Art Appreciations, Lecture #9

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

Ash paces back and forth in front of the classroom, until he's satisfied with the number of students in the seats. He then stops pacing, opens a book, and begins reading.

He's reading "Green Eggs and Hamelt".

When he is finished, he shuts the book and asks the questions for discussion.

"Alright knuckleheads. Say you were making a still-life painting of eggs and ham, and you decided to paint the eggs green. Here are your questions:

One, would Dr. Seuss sue you?

Two, Would it be art?

Three, Would it taste good?

Four, Would you paint it on a boat?

Five, Would you paint it with a goat?

Six, Why does my TA get naked for other people?

Seven, What would Brian Boitano Do?

Eight, Who's on First?

Nine, What is the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?

Ten, Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

Eleven, Why do I keep dreaming of Leonardo Da Vinci coming back to life and beating me to death with an easel?

Twelve, What did you think of the book?


Alright, discuss!

Comments

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

Jake stared at him, sipped his coffee and then shrugged. "1. No. 2. Yes. 3. ...I guess that depends on the paint? 4. No. Dad would surely protest. 5. Not unless it was a very still goat. 6. ...I dunno. Ask Cal. 7. ..I dunno on that either." He fell silent, thinking through the list again. "And I think you should take the Da Vinci dream as a warning. Like, a premonition or something."

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

"Premonition? Like, a vision of things to come?"

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

Jake nodded solemnly. "U-huh. This is Fandom. It could totally happen."

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

Ash jerks his head to look over his shoulder, then turns back to Jake.

"Good point. Never know." He nods and quickly backs up against the wall, so he can keep an eye out for the supposedly inevitable Leonardo Da Zombie which is coming to kill him.