fandomhigh | Sex Ed, Tuesday, First Period

"Good morning, class," Steve said. "You've had all of yesterday to recover from our...very special Fandom weekend, so no excuses." Not even those of you who might be hungover. "Last week we talked about contraception, because I think that was important to address first. This week, we're going to start talking about why you need contraception."

"Venereal diseases, or sexually transmitted diseases, are those transmitted by sexual contact between an infected and uninfected person. It is possible to have relations with a person who is infected with a venereal disease without catching it, but it's a little bit like playing Russian Roulette, so...don't do that. If you suspect you have a venereal disease--if you're experiencing itching or burning or anything generally weird, ahem, down there, please do not hesitate to go to the clinic or to your preferred health care professional. They have seen it all before; they will not laugh at you. Some venereal diseases are curable, while some are curable if caught in time. Others are treatable, but not curable. If you have a VD, you are morally obligated, and in some cases legally so, to tell any prospective partners your status.

"So. Rather than me stand up here and lecture you about all this, or show you horror show slides of what can happen to your, er, bits, we're going to have an interactive activity. I have here a basket full of toy microbes associated with certain venereal diseases. And mono. Additionally, each of you should have a handout on your desk. Pass the basket around, pick a toy, then tell the class something about that disease that explains why it would be a bad thing to have. If you want, the toys are yours to keep. Any questions?"

((Alternate handout link for when Wikipedia blacks out.))

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Pick an adorable plush toy, then tell the class why it sucks.

Matt picked the Mono plushie and played with it in his hands as he talked.

"Well, having Mono, in general, stinks because you usually get pretty tired, get achey and some of the symptoms can last for months. And in bad cases your spleen will get swollen and in others you some neurological complications but that's pretty rare."

"Human pa...pap-pill-o...mana-virus? Papillomavirus? It is also known as HPV," Surreal said, poking savagely at her plushie (http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/hpv.html), as if it was its fault it had such a hard name. "It is a very long name, and while there are nearly 200 known types of HPV that cause no symptoms in most people, some types can cause warts, while others can lead to cancers of the reproductive organs, head, and neck."

"Apparently there is a 'vaccine' for females, which is like a preventative potion, I think, but less than half the female population takes it. Which is ridiculous."

Edited 2012-01-17 19:27 (UTC)

Seifer was going to keep the green Chlamydia (http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/files/images/productdetails/chlamydia.jpg) plushy when he was done.

And hey, he had learned something while reading about it!

"So, chlamydia is the 'silent epidemic', because in 75% of women, and 50% of men infected, there are no symptoms. Yet, it can cause a host of other infections, include eye disease, rheumatological, perinatal and more. It can be passed through any type of sexual contact and can also be passed from mother to child during birth. Luckily, it can be treated with antibotics."

"HIV, or the Human Immunodeficiency Virus --" Which had no business being as adorable a plushie as it was. "-- causes acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, better known as AIDS. It makes your immune system fail and makes you more susceptible to... basically anything. It's not something you want to get."

But yes, Natalie was going to keep the toy. She had a weakness for plushies.

Hank picked up the trichomoniasis (http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/trichomoniasis.html) plushie, and frowned at it.

"This is Tricky Mona Sis, and it's a bad thing to have because it's all purple and girly. And kinda goth-looking. Which is cool, I guess, but it looks more like a poser-goth than a goth-goth, so... not cool. It kind of reminds me of this one albino guy I know."

And THAT was the point of the discussion where he thought to actually, you know, look at the handout.

"...Aaaaaaand... Uhhhhhh... symptoms can include burning, and discharge. That sounds all gross."

Seifer rolled his eyes at Hank's description. "Dude, that is so not the reason that it's bad. And purple is not girly."

Hank just looked all smug. "You're just jealous, because you've got chlamydia."

Jim looked at his herpes plushie. (http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/herpes.html) And then kind of smirked a little.

Okay, this venereal disease apparently looked like sunshine.

"So, herpes here is one of those unpleasant ones that sucks not only because of the lesions, pain, itching, burning, but also because of the discharge, fever, headache, muscle pain, swollen lymph nodes, and malaise." Jim blinked. Okay, the little sunshine-looking thing was not an adorable plushie to be trifled with. "Oh. And there isn't a cure, and there are 45 million infected people in America, with an estimated million new cases in America each year."

There were some things that made still being a virgin seem pretty awesome.

"I have syphilis (http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/pox.html)," Stacey said, and paused. Then she assured the class, "The toy, I mean. Not... Anyway. It's bad because it can sometimes be hard to tell what it is, and then... ew. Then there are lesions... down there, and the disease can affect the heart or brain, and... I'm sorry, I can't get over ew."

So, syphilitic boys need not apply.

Darcy picked up the clap. ~~not dirty~~. "This is a very adorable clap. It's also known as gonorrhea. Apparently, it's very common, treatable, but makes it very hard to uh...use the bathroom. And if you're pregnant, you might mess up your kid, so make sure you get treated. Or just don't get it to begin with, I guess."

Sex Ed, Tuesday, First Period

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