fandomhigh | What was the school Board.... now with more Welsh!

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madrox and murdock

What was the school Board.... now with more Welsh!

Today's class was in the Danger Shop today though the room itself resembled a normal classroom. Except for the fact that there was a duplicate of Jamie tied up in a straight jacket, tied to a dolly with a rather scary looking mask attached to his face.

"Good morning kids!" Jamie said cheerfully. "Today we're going to discuss a very important topic that will no doubt affect some of you at one time or other in the future."

The masked Jamie let out a hissing noise. "First principles, Jamie. Simplicity. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does this class do and what do you seek?"

"I'm getting to that," Jamie snapped at his duplicate before turning back to the classroom. "Today we're going to learn how to deal with your evil twin. Because you do have one. It might be a brother, sister, cousin, clone or a random person who got plastic surgery to look like you. For instance... let's take Jeff. Jeff doesn't seem to know he has an evil twin. Right, Jeff?"

"...I don't have a twin, I'm fairly certain," Jeff contributed, looking confused. "Unless Mother was right about what happened if you--"

It was probably best if he didn't finish that sentence.

He didn't need to as now there was a duplicate of Jamie wearing a wig and a shirt that looked a lot like Jeff's hair and shirt.

He also had a handlebar mustache.

"Do what exactly, Jeffrey?" the 'Evil Twin' crowed and then cackled and then for no reason yelled "BOOBS!"

"...What, where?" Jeff threw a confused look over his shoulder. "I'm still not seeing any evil twins, Jamie!"

Jamie looked over at the class and pretended to give a light chuckle before hissing back at Jeff. "Over there! Me! The one dressed like you!"

"A census taker once tried to test me," the Hannibal!Jamie declared dreamily. "I ate his eyebrows with some fava beans and cotton candy."

"Oh, right!"

Sorry, Jamie. "He doesn't have any breasts, though," Jeff felt obliged to point out. "I mean. I'm sure there's breasts in the room, but..."

"On the back of your head!" Evil!Jeff!Jamie declared. "Muhahahaha." Just in case anyone had ever wondered if Jeff could at all be competent at evil...

Well at least the evil laugh was pretty good. "Now most ot the time an evil twin's goal is to wreak havoc in your life. For instance they might try to sleep with your significant other or cause problems with your friends. In some cases they may try to eliminate you and take over your life. Or in Jeff's case... Try to call his mother."

Evil!Jeff!Jamie pulled out his phone demonstratively.

"What?!" Jeff asked. "No! No, not my mother, please! Jamie!" He turned to Jamie, pointing in the direction of Evil!Jeff!Jamie, "Make him stop! He can't do this! Not my mother!"

Gibbering, on the other hand, suited Jeff fine.

"Hopefully you students will have better luck in dealing with your evil twin," Jamie said continuing to address the class as he absorbed the Evil!Jeff!Jamie! duplicate. The phone the "evil twin" was carrying fell to the floor with a clatter. And from the phone a female voice could be heard.

"Hello? Jeffrey? Is that you?"

"GAH!"

Only if you were charitable could that be described as a 'ninja-kick', but it functioned, at least. Jeff's phone flew several meters along the floor--

"Jeffrey?!"

"I'M NOT HERE!" Jeff bellowed, and jumped on the phone. And then jumped on it again. And a third time for good measure.

There was then a small chuckle coming from the Hannibal!Jamie "Brave Jamie. You will let me know when those sheep stop screaming, won't you?"

Jamie sighed. "For the record," he said jabbing a thumb in his dupe's direction, "He's not really evil. He's just a big fan of Anthony Hopkins."

"Don't worry. I've no plans to call on you, Jamie. The world is more interesting with you in it."

"Your assignment today is to deal with your evil twin. We've programmed the dangershop to provide an evil twin that will correspond to your personality. Thwart whatever plans they have for you and you get an A for the day."

And with that Jamie clicked a remote making all the evil twins appear. Who for some reason all had mustaches. "Good luck!"

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With your evillest icon!

Cara

Raven

Juliet Darling

Miley Ray Stewart

Stacey McGill

Jace Wayland

Hanna Marin

Rilla Blythe

Jeremy Darling

Sam Puckett

Elphaba Thropp

Marshall Wheeler

Sov Thade Tage em Ereb

Jim Hawkins

Billy Kaplan

Dave Nelson

Anna Korlov

Hank Venture

(*facepalm* Not only am I a day late, but I forgot which of my characters was even IN this class.)

Or just enjoy the show!

Cara couldn't enjoy the show as she had a bad feeling about where this class was headed.

Raven turned pale(r than normal) at the talk of evil twins. She was already far too familiar with her evil side, and she had no wish to play at dealing with whatever Jamie's demented version of it might be. She quietly gathered her things and headed out of the Danger Shop.

Juliet rolled her eyes and glanced toward Jeremy ~~if he was there~~ during the lecture. The evil twin thing was such a cliche.

Also, they would both look awful with a mustache.

Hanna didn't have an evil twin. She did have an evil steptsister, though. At least that's how she described her to most people.

She'd grown up with twins, and while she wouldn't describe either Di or Nan as evil, they both had their trying points.

And she's always secretly wanted to be a twin...

It was entirely probable that Rilla had missed the point of this exercise.

Glancing back over at Juliet, Jeremy made a face at the evil twin thing. The Darling things were both one hundred percent amazing and non-evil, thankyouverymuch. This class was lame.

"I already have an evil twin," Sam muttered.

This was incorrect. In fact, she already was the evil twin.

Sov just stared, and then grinned. This class was weird, but in a fun way. Evil twins with moustaches?

Hank watched the show with fascination.

Icons for your evil twins (http://multi-madrox.livejournal.com/83372.html#cutid1) have been provided for you. You may use them for yourselves or recruit other players to be your evil twin if you so choose. Keep in mind that your evil twin was programmed by two lunatics so they might be a bit... weird. Feel free to run with that as you choose.

Please excuse Miley for shuddering, since the last (http://its-theclimb.livejournal.com/tag/event:%20soap%20opera%20weekend) time she'd had an evil twin ~~sort of~~, things had Not Gone Well.

So she eyed her evil twin with suspicion as the mustachioed girl made her way over here.

"I'm not going to listen to you," Miley said right off the bat, crossing her arms over her chest. "Nuh-uh."

And then she saw what her evil twin had in her hands: a glittery pink microphone.

"What are you doing with that?" Miley asked suspiciously. "Put that away."

"Come on," her evil twin cooed. "Don't you want everyone to hear your lovely voice?"

Miley held up both hands and took a step back. "Okay, look, I think we can both agree that --"

And then the impulse to sing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi82TjTfkG0), the one that had been itching at her all day, finally took over her.

"Rushing and racing and running in circles
Moving so fast I'm forgetting my purpose
The blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere..."

Well, that wasn't a Hannah song. And yet somehow Miley was falling into ballet-style choreography without ever having learned it.

Yeah, sorry, guys. Miley was really not getting an A for the day.

Edited 2012-01-11 15:03 (UTC)

Rilla carefully approached the...other her. With a mustache. At least she didn't look terrible in a mustache?

The other Rilla turned and arched her eyebrow up, then began to sing:

I feel pretty,
Oh so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright,
And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight.
I feel charming,
Oh so charming,
It's alarming how charming I feel,
And so pretty that I hardly can believe I'm real.

Rilla sniffed. "Well. That's just obnoxious."

See, thing was, Cara kind of already had certain opinions on the kind of person she was, so the idea of an "evil" twin to be thwarted meant she immediately went for violence to stop her, although she went with a sleeper-hold instead of following her first impulse and simply breaking the other Cara's neck.

It was only after the twin was lying unconscious on the floor that Cara wondered why she was wearing a pretty floral dress and carrying a tambourine. It didn't match the moustache at all.

Elphaba stared at her her pink taffeta-wearing mustachioed counterpart.

Then her evil twin started to sing.

"No good deed goes un--"

Elphaba set her evil twin on fire. Then she looked around at her classmates. "What?" she said, defensively. "She was definitely evil. Someone throw a bucket of water on her and see if she melts."

Elphaba crossed her arms in a huff.

Billy wasn't sure what to expect when his evil twin came out, but it definitely wasn't having to listen to him describe all the ways he'd sex up the ladies in the room. Billy put his hands over his ears like that would help and tried not to stare at the mustache. This was just so wrong.

Hank waved to his evil twin. "Well, hello there!" he said with a grin, attempting to confuse the enemy with kindness.

The evil twin, in response, launched himself at Hank's throat.

The two of them spent the rest of the class in a really pathetic fight which neither was able to win. They both kicked the other in the junk at the same time, for example.

Who aren't inherently evil but can help you if you ask. Maybe.

Miley was not evil, true. Actually, Miley was boggling. This was not the fun dance class she'd meant to sign up for.

WHY DID THIS KEEP HAPPENING?

"What does this have to do with a butter cow?" Sam wondered around.

"What butter cow?" asked her twin -- who honestly was pretty much exactly like Sam only with a mustache.

"Aw chiz. Okay, if he asks where the butter cow is, we're saying you melted it. Evilly."

The evil twin frowned. "You're not the boss of me."

Sam held up her fist. "This says I am!"

And the next thing anyone knew, Sam and her evil twin were in a brawl on the floor.

Yeah, not even Sam got along that well with herself.

One of whom is probably going to need a new cell phone.

Jamie definitely did not need a new cell phone. He was also there to help anyone who needed assistance with their mustached twin.

Meanwhile, Jeff had... little bits and pieces of an early-naughties phone to sort through. So he might not be paying too much attention.

I've got nothing clever to put here...

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