screwyoumarvel (
screwyoumarvel) wrote in
fandomhigh2012-01-10 01:20 pm
Entry tags:
Sex Ed, Tuesday, First Period
"Good morning, everyone," Steve said. "I'd like to start with something that was brought to my attention last week that I neglected to cover in my introduction. This class will be Earth-based and human-based. The topic is large enough that way, without expanding it to cover every possible situation. If your situation is not covered by the class, you're welcome to visit my office hours on Friday and I'll help you find resources that will better suit your needs. Okay? Okay. Today we'll be talking about one of the most important practical things, which is why I want to get it out of the way first. Contraception, also known as birth control."
Steve moved out from behind his desk as he continued to talk, handing out informational handouts. "What works, what doesn't, why you shouldn't believe what you're told. Now, usually, the only one hundred percent foolproof way to avoid pregnancy is abstinence, and the only way to avoid venereal disease--" and yes, he did call it that; he was rather old-fashioned in some ways-- "is total abstinence until you find a permanent partner, and then to continue with that same partner for the rest of your life. However, I am all too aware that to expect people to actually do that is rank optimism. So. What are your other options? Well, good news, the technology has improved in leaps and bounds over the last half-century or so. Birth control pills> or implants can prevent pregnancy, when utilized correctly, but not disease. For that you're going to need a barrier, specifically a condom. When used correctly, condoms are very effective in preventing both pregnancy and disease. This is all twenty-first century standard; if your home is not twenty-first century standard, well, at least we'll get you through high school childless except for after prom and disease-free. If you're post-modern, you probably have better methods, anyway, while if you're pre-modern, I would really recommend abstinence. In this century, syphilis means a trip to the clinic for antibiotics; in the past it meant a miserable death after going blind. With any new partner, if you don't know if you have a VD, you should get tested, and use a condom until you know the results. If you know you have a VD, you should always, always use a condom. It's just polite.
"Now let's talk about what doesn't work. Hoping you won't get pregnant doesn't work. Anything involving soda does not work and will probably land you at the, er, gynecologist explaining why you have that weird infection. Believing your partner when they tell you they're sterile really doesn't work." He paused for a moment after that, then went on. "Even if they believe they're telling the truth. "Some behavioral methods do have some utility in preventing pregnancy, but none of them are foolproof--however, again, if you're premodern, they may be all you have. Ladies, if you are modern-based and your contraception fails--the condom breaks, you forget to take your pill--emergency contraception is effective within a day or two, some of it over the counter if you're over seventeen or, in some places, eighteen.
""So, to rewind a bit, condoms, when used correctly, are effective at preventing both pregnancy and disease. Plus, they are relatively cheap. So." Steve began to turn bright red, which he'd managed to avoid up until this point. Darn Irish complexion. "We are going tomolest some fruit practice." He held up a banana in one hand and a foil packet in the other. "Observe." He proceeded to put the condom on the banana with almost military precision. "Your turn."
Steve moved out from behind his desk as he continued to talk, handing out informational handouts. "What works, what doesn't, why you shouldn't believe what you're told. Now, usually, the only one hundred percent foolproof way to avoid pregnancy is abstinence, and the only way to avoid venereal disease--" and yes, he did call it that; he was rather old-fashioned in some ways-- "is total abstinence until you find a permanent partner, and then to continue with that same partner for the rest of your life. However, I am all too aware that to expect people to actually do that is rank optimism. So. What are your other options? Well, good news, the technology has improved in leaps and bounds over the last half-century or so. Birth control pills> or implants can prevent pregnancy, when utilized correctly, but not disease. For that you're going to need a barrier, specifically a condom. When used correctly, condoms are very effective in preventing both pregnancy and disease. This is all twenty-first century standard; if your home is not twenty-first century standard, well, at least we'll get you through high school childless except for after prom and disease-free. If you're post-modern, you probably have better methods, anyway, while if you're pre-modern, I would really recommend abstinence. In this century, syphilis means a trip to the clinic for antibiotics; in the past it meant a miserable death after going blind. With any new partner, if you don't know if you have a VD, you should get tested, and use a condom until you know the results. If you know you have a VD, you should always, always use a condom. It's just polite.
"Now let's talk about what doesn't work. Hoping you won't get pregnant doesn't work. Anything involving soda does not work and will probably land you at the, er, gynecologist explaining why you have that weird infection. Believing your partner when they tell you they're sterile really doesn't work." He paused for a moment after that, then went on. "Even if they believe they're telling the truth. "Some behavioral methods do have some utility in preventing pregnancy, but none of them are foolproof--however, again, if you're premodern, they may be all you have. Ladies, if you are modern-based and your contraception fails--the condom breaks, you forget to take your pill--emergency contraception is effective within a day or two, some of it over the counter if you're over seventeen or, in some places, eighteen.
""So, to rewind a bit, condoms, when used correctly, are effective at preventing both pregnancy and disease. Plus, they are relatively cheap. So." Steve began to turn bright red, which he'd managed to avoid up until this point. Darn Irish complexion. "We are going to

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