fandomhigh | Library

She nodded. "Yes. She seems very ... uhm ... cheerful."

"She is," Ender agreed. "Especially for a pony. I... can't say I'm unhappy to be out of her class, however."

"Does all of that cheerfulness get exhausting?" It was a reasonable question.

"It does, every now and again," Ender said wryly. It was a very reasonable question. "Anyway, I have a few books in mind you might want to take a look at. Have you ever taken Lady Ghanima's The Art of War class?"

"I took her Arts Of War and Peace class?"

"Then you probably already know enough about Sun Tzu, so we can skip that," Ender said, motioning her towards the philosophy section.

She nodded and followed along with him. "He was a little fascinating in the way he thought about things at times," Cassidy mused.

"Well, a lot of what Sun Tzu came up with lies at the base of our understanding of tactics," Ender said, squatting down by one of the bookcases. "Before we go on... what are we hoping to work on today? I don't want to just start dumping books on you."

Cassidy looked at him. "I'm not even sure where to start," she said honestly. "I just know that I need to learn different ways to deal with situations that could be threatening without getting myself taken out of reality again."

Ender reached down and pulled out a book on hand-to-hand tactics. "Well, this is the most practical end of the scale," he reported, handing it to Cassidy.

Cassidy took the book and opened it to the first page to get an idea of how she would be spending her time that evening.

She finally nodded and looked back up at him. "All right. This writer seems to have a clue."

Ender smiled, moving up a few rows. He searched the titles until he found another book. "Of course, on the other end of the scale, we've got this."

Don't ask how he knew what to look for.

Cassidy blinked at it and opened it to read the first page.

"Wow ... that's a bit different than the first book."

"That's the general idea," Ender said, with a little smile. "We can teach you how to fight, but that won't teach you how to think. And theory is fine, but it's hard to adapt in a crisis if you don't know the practicalities."

"And I need to know both to keep myself -- and the people who depend on me -- safe."

"Then we'll pour through both," Ender said, getting back up. "Just to start with - there are plenty more books, of course. My old school's library used to be full of them."

Cassidy nodded. "I have to start somewhere," she said in agreement. She gave him a smile. "I appreciate this, Ender."

"You don't have to thank me," Ender said. He smiled wryly. "Every time one of you Kaeleeran witches actually asks for help, I sleep a little better at night."

She tilted her head and then gave him a knowing look.

"Do you mind if I ask why that is?"

"I've known Karla for a long time," Ender said. "I've been to Kaeleer. I have some idea of what your people are like." He walked back towards where the tables were. "Stubborn, hierarchical, and not always terribly good at recognising when you need to discover new ways of thinking."

Cassidy was quiet for a moment as she thought about this.

"I cannot speak for Karla," she allowed. "But in my case, it's been more that until I came here, it really didn't occur to me to ask for help when it comes to what I am. I'm a Queen, and I've been taught since I could understand that my duty and responsibility is to take care of the land and my people. I've been schooled in traditions and Protocol, Ender, things that have been passed down through thousands of years of the Blood. I didn't know that there were other worlds that existed outside of Kaeleer until Fandom."

She smiled faintly, holding the books he had given to her close to her chest. "I didn't know that other places existed -- Mother Night, I thought that Terrielle was a myth. I didn't know other places existed, so I didn't know that there were other ideas that could be accessed. I didn't know to ask for other help because I didn't know there was other help to be had."

Edited 2012-01-07 16:57 (UTC)

"I know," Ender said, with a tiny smile. "I'm not judging you - like I said, I've had an amount of experience with Kaeleer by now. I know you're from a society that hasn't changed in thousands upon thousands of years, that these patterns have become ingrained."

He looked to her. "That's why I am glad you're taking these steps," he said. "They may or may not be necessary in Kaeleer - I can't be the judge of that - but being in a place like Fandom demands different things of you."

She smiled and then nodded.

"Fandom had taught me that there are different needs," she agreed. "Certainly until I came here, I never imagined that so many things could happen that Craft and Protocol wouldn't be able to fix. I'm also incredibly lucky to know that I have friends like you that I can come to when I have questions or need help. I can better serve my people -- and myself -- knowing that there are other ways to approach an issue that may not be the same thing I believe to be right."

"Try taking that up with Karla sometime," Ender said, looking a tiny bit amused, and a lot wry. "Please excuse me my snark," he said a moment later. "Your people are hardly the only ones who have trouble with this."

Cassidy looked confused.

"I don't understand. Karla does learn and institute new things into the way she is taking care of her people. People that she calls Court are not Blood and yet she listens to them when they present her ideas." Or when they forced her to accept their logic, but you would not hear Cassidy say anything against Karla's way of doing things.

She tilted her head. "I don't see it as snark, I don't think. I see it as you voicing things that you have seen. Sometimes, sometimes I think that our friends that have not been reared like we have can see things a little clearly than we do. I try to see all things at all times, but realistically, I know I cannot."

"She does, and she doesn't," Ender said mildly. "She listens - sometimes. Sometimes she even understands. But she's impulsive and headstrong, and a little quick to judge."

He quirked a vague little smile. "I've seen first-hand what can happen when we default to ignorance," he said, "And I know myself and everyone else well enough that that's not just a switch we can throw towards enlightenment - we have to work for it every step of the way. I'm glad you try."

"Karla has dealt more with war and battles than I have and she has had to learn to survive the best way she could from what I understand." Cassidy's voice was soft, but her eyes showed that she was thinking about everything that Ender was saying. Not only was she thinking about it, but she was processing it.

"I want to not only be a good Queen, but a good person, Ender. I want people to like and respect me for myself and feel that they can come and talk with me no matter what. I don't want them to only come to me as a Queen. I want people to see me as Cassidy. I believe with everything I am that the best way to do that is to learn as much as I can about doing things differently and seeing all sides."

She grinned. "I may still be stubborn and impulsive, but I do try to think before I act." Try being the key word and she knew it.

"Karla has," Ender said, "And so have I. It doesn't preclude either of us from making bad decisions."

Still not going into the details behind the 'so have I', however.

"But thinking before we act is as good a place as any to start here," he said, holding his hand up for the philosophy book, "As that lies at the heart of tactics."

Cassidy was still not going to push him to talk about anything that he didn't incite conversation on.

"I don't think that anyone is immune to making bad decisions? Or decisions that may not make sense to others?" She smiled and handed him the book.

"I think you can understand anyone's decisions if you know what's in their heart - what they really want," Ender said, opening up the book to the first chapter. "With a bit of effort. I know why Karla does what she does, I just happen to have my moments of disagreeing with it."

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