The Jamie Madrox and Jeff Murdock Fun Time Hour, Part 1, Or 'Why Did The School Board...', Wednesday

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Red drapes hung on the back wall of the classroom. A stage had been built against the back of it, made of pretty oak wood. A small puppet theater stood on a platform on the stage, and more red drapes hung on both sides of the room, a few feet away from the back wall.

It was silent. Empty. Dark.

And then, very softly, a first opening drumroll...

A line of Jamies appeared snapping their fingers in time to the music and occasionally striking a dramatic pose here nd there along the way. With a flourish of jazz hands they all then pointed at the puppet theater where two puppets who looked liked Toby Macguire and Andrew Garfield were doing battle with each other while wearing Arachnid Guy costumes without the masks.

A smooth voice rolled out of the speakers. "Arachnid Guy, Arachnid Guy, knows just how to catch the fly. Poops a web, rarely cries, never heaves just throws pies-- look out! Here comes Arachnid Guy!"

Barely had the word 'Guy' resounded through the classroom, or Jeff had leaped up on stage wearing a shirt with a spider on it and a funny hat, his arms spread and his palms facing the camera as if he was miming a wall.

He grinned like a maniac, hopping sideways along the stage.

"Worth a song? Listen, lad! He's just absolutely rad..."

With Jeff on stage the dancing Jamies fluttered and were now doing Jazz Hands around Jeff as he sang as they gyrated to he music.

Lots of gyrating.

Meanwhile an Emma Stone and a Kirsten Dunst puppet were now in the puppet theater doing Jazz Puppet hands around the fighting Toby and Andrew.

"Dare he fling... himself off a cliff? Oh, he's not such a stiff, because hey there-- there goes Arachnid Guy!"

Trumpets blared! Jeff came to a stop, tossing his arms out in a v-shape, then bringing them back together! Then v-shape again! Oh yeah! He squatted down on the edge of the stage, throwing his legs out in a really low-rent breakdance sort of scheme.

Two stage lights flicked on and turned to illuminate him. He was... still grinning like a crazy person.

"In the heat... of summer! Down... the drain of your shower! On a trail of glimmer, he arrives-- just in time!"

DRAMA!

The dancing Jamies were still doing the back up dancing thing which now involved jazz hands and hip pops. Lots of hip pops. Maybe a bit too many hip pops. Except for the two Jamies who stopped dancing to boggle at each other and mouth the word "shower" at each other.

Over in the puppet theater a Denis Leary puppet was watching the show while smoking a cigarette and rolling his puppet eyes.

"Arachnid Guy, Arachnid Guy, cheerful borough Arachnid Guy! Girls and booze, he's ignored! Fisticuffs are his reward! Look out!"

Jeff took that as a prompt to flail his limbs out in all directions, half-falling off the stage on his way back up to his feet. He bounced towards the back, popping his hips along with the Jamies. "HELLO EVERYONE!" he bellowed. "I'm Jeff Murdock! And this is Jamie Madrox!"

"Here comes the Arachnid Guy!"

Jeff fell to his knees for point five seconds. Mostly as he waited for the chorus to kick back in.

At which point a Jamie appeared onstage wearing a sparkly glove and a ah hat. He moonwalked across the stage singing "WOO-HOO-HOO!" and then doing a flurry of dance moves while yelling "SHA-MOAN!"

All the back up dancing Jamies tackled him to the ground and proceeded to pummel him.

"Today's class," Jamie said stepping out from behind the curtain, "Is about interpretive dance and also how you will introduce yourself to us and your fellow students."

Jeff hopped up, engaged in a little pirouette, then flailed his limbs out. "Come on everyone!" he called. "It's great! Your name! Your personality! Anything you want to tell us about yourselves! You can dance it all! And if you can't, we'll teach you!"

Oh god.

Then he leaped forward just in time for the final Dramatic Musical Epilogue of the song, throwing his arms out, then pulling them back, then throwing them out again... ...right in front of Jamie. "ARACHNID GUY!"

That was 'go!', kids.

Comments

Introduce Yourselves!

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

... Through interpretive DANCING!

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara? Was not dancing.

Instead she was glaring.

Interpret that how you will.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"Cara! Welcome back!" Jamie said cheerfully and holding up a pair of tap shoes. "Look! I have tap shoes for your introduction!"

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[child-of-rer.livejournal.com]

Dancing? Dancing an introduction? Sov suddenly felt very uncomfortable and tried to hide behind someone else at first. Then they summoned up some courage and waved their arms a little, saying:

"Hi, I'm Sov."

And then promptly stopped.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"Oh, come on!" Jeff said, bouncing up and down. "You got to a good start but you've got to own it!"

Someone had been watching a lot of reality TV at Jamie's lately.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[trigons_child]

What was she doing in this class?

"Raven. I am Raven," she said. Not dancing.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"And what kind of dance are you going to do for us today, Raven?" Jamie asked as he took a sip from his water bottle and toweled off.

Granted he hadn't danced a step but absorbing all the dupes made him feel the need to re-hydrate after their routine.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[ihavediabetes.livejournal.com]

Stacey was not looking to dance in front of her second class of the semester when she was completely brand new. Instead, she was trying very hard not to be noticed by the crazy people.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

"Aren't you gonna dance?" Miley wanted to know, spinning around the girl she hadn't met yet. "It's fun!"

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"Come on, you in the back!" Jeff called. "Step it up, step it up!"

As long as he could pretend to be a teacher, talking to people was working fine for him! FINE.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

After staring for a second, Miley realized that this was a win. She liked dancing. So she let herself get into it and was quite a good dancer, actually.

The whole 'quirky, bubbly personality' thing was probably quite clear, yeah.

"I'm Miley Stewart," she sang out, mid-twirl. "Best class ev-er!"

Oh, Miley, no.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla loved dancing.

Rilla hated introduction week.

Rilla was sliding down in her seat and hoping not to be noticed.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[twintuitionist.livejournal.com]

Juliet had taken a few dance classes when she was younger, so she didn't fall on her face as she did a few vaguely modern dancey, vaguely artsy poses.

"Juliet Darling," she burbled.

She'd decided to view this as acting practice.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[stars_and_money]

Jeremy was no dancer, really. But he happened to be laidback enough to muster up some jazz hands and some sort-of tap dancing to go with his introduction.

"Jeremy Darling," he said. "Twin bro of Juliet."

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[liarallmyown.livejournal.com]

Jace was a pretty damn good dancer and he wasn't about to be one of those boring people that sat to the side all embarrassed. So he did dance and made sure to add some moves that looked a little like fighting in order to cover the interpretive part of it.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[answer2bheard.livejournal.com]

Jim... supposed he could dance for the crazy people. Just this once.

Hopefully.

He shrugged, stood up, put his hands on his hips, and did a little Irish Montressor Jig. It was pretty common knowledge back home, so it wasn't like he was going to trip over his feet or anything while he spoke.

"I'm Jim Hawkins," he offered. While jigging.

Interpretive jigging, shut up.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[wheeler-360.livejournal.com]

Interpretive dance? Marshall could do interpretive dance! ... Maybe!

So there was this thing where he kinda wriggled a bit, and his arms flailed, and then he crouched down before JUMPING UP and landing with his arms above his head. Just like in his icon. "... Marshall!" he added, belatedly.

Better work on that timing, Marshall, or you'll never make it on the stage.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[i-am-the-rat.livejournal.com]

Hank slipped out of the room and ran back to the dorm at the first available opportunity. When he came back, he was dressed in the best outfit he owned -- a cheap plastic Ratman Halloween costume.

He slid onto the stage on his knees, and then stood up and started dancing the Ratusi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batusi) while chanting "Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na RATMAN!"

...He may have forgotten to introduce himself.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[hurtingzeebo]

What the hell? It might as well be random dancing, right?

Sam did a quick tap number -- as well as she could in skater shoes, anyway -- and threw up her arms. "I'm Sam!"

She paused, almost as though waiting for Carly to join in.

Alas, there was no Carly.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[new-it-girl.livejournal.com]

Hanna was dancing. At least she had some sort of rhythm, so it wasn't totally embarrassing.

"I'm Hanna Marin," she announced enthusiastically as she twirled around.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[didntchewgrass.livejournal.com]

Elphaba did jazz hands, very lackadaisically. "Elphaba Thropp," she said.

And that was all she was going to do unless someone egged her on.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[dressedinblood]

While Anna was wearing a dancing dress, she didn't really think it was for this kind of dancing. She wasn't sure what 'interpretive' dance was, to tell the truth. (Look, she'd been locked in a house since the fifties.) It looked rather...insane.

So she was standing a bit off to the side from the rest of the group, looking uncertain, and she said, "I'm Anna?"

That probably shouldn't have been a question.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[iwishiwasbig.livejournal.com]

Dave sighed. He was in Jamie's class last semester. He knew that if he resisted, it would only get worse. So he stood up and started stepping semi-rhythmically. That's when he realized that his shoes were kind of loud. And they were making kind of a... tapping sound. It wasn't bad for a first-time soft-shoe.

"I'm Dave Nelson. And apparently, I know how to tap dance." Not well.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[geewhizfellas.livejournal.com]

Like Butters would argue against anything that had him dancing to introduce himself...so long as it wasn't tap dancing, because he really didn't want to just go and kill everyone in class and what not.

"H-Hey, there!" he said, bouncing already. "I'm Butters Stotch, and, well, here's my dance!"

The movements that followed were not particularly graceful, but they were earnest and sincere and even a little talented. There was a lot of sliding and shimming and butt-wiggling, lots of spirit fingers and turns and head bobbing. Through it, Butters told the abstract tale of a small, faithful, cheerful little boy from a small mountain town with a lot of hope....

...and a lot of darkness, too. Jesus help the poor sucker who was actually good at interpreting interpretive dance, because they would find in that bushy-tailed little blonde boy things they would probably wish they could unsee.

Still, Butters ended with a smile, a big dramatic slide forward on one knee with his hands splayed open and a cheerful little, "Ha-cha!"

And then he stood up, bowed, and thanked the audience.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[selfhelphero]

"Um. I'm Billy Kaplan?" Only the presence of Jamie Madrox, and someone equally as crazy, could make him sound unsure of his own name. Then, because he knew better than to not at least attempt to go along with the class instruction, he did some jazz hands.