fandomhigh | What was the school board thinking giving Jamie Madrox a teaching position?

Today the class was held in the Dangershop where instead of desks there was a long table where everyone could sit.

There was also a cartoon beagle walking around and serving everyone popcorn, toast, pretzels, jelly beans and ice cream with whipped cream and maraschino cherries.

"Hello my dear students," Jamie said cheerfully. "I know that we're all going through a rough patch at the moment but tomorrow is a holiday where we can hopefully take a rest from our worries. It's called Thanksgiving. It's a holiday where we give thanks for what we have and spend time with family. You might wonder how this holiday came about and so my duplicates and I have put together a little sketch to help you understand the holiday."

"The year... is 1620. Fleeing from their homelands for religious persecution the Pilgrims arrived on Plymouth Rock after a long, long voyage on the Mayflower."

And then a Jamie dressed in a pilgrims outfit stepped forward.

Pilgrim #1:Behold! America! I am glad we are finally in the new world where we can pray without being persecuted.

Pilgrim #2: This place sucks. I'm cold. Can we go back?

Pilgrim #1: No. For this place is... freedom!

Pilgrim "Woman: Okay. Why do I have to wear the dress?

Pilgrim #1: (Hushed voice) Stay in character.

Pilgrim "Woman": Oi! Behold! The free world where I may pray with my husband and then put up with his repressed sexual needs.

Pilgrim #1: (Hushed) Dude. This is classroom.

Pilgrim "Woman": Oh, hell like they're not trying to have sex with everyone they see. They're freaking teenagers.

Pilgrim #1: Dude! Classroom!

Pilgrim #2: Oh! Look! Native Americans approach!

Native American: Welcome to the new world! We see that you are cold and hungry! Allow us to help you learn how to hunt and plant food for the long winter!

Pilgrim #1: Thank you! And in return we shall give you blankets with small pox.

Native American: Ooo! Small pox. How exciting! I like the sound of that.

Pilgrim "Woman": Is this where I start accusing people of witchcraft?

Pilgrim #1: What?

Pilgrim "Woman": Witch. Craft. I've got the makings of a bonfire out in the hall.

Pilgrim #2: Dude. I think you have this mixed up with the Crucible.

Pilgrim "Woman": C'mon. I just want to set someone on fire.

Pilgrim #1: Let us have a feast to celebrate our new friendship with the Native Americans and our new world!

Pilgrim "Woman": Then we can burn them at the stake.

Pilgrim #2: Dude! No!

Native American: Hey, I'd love to come but I've got a fever, rashes, a backache and vomiting. Too bad we don't have intravenous fluids or a vaccine for this fabulous small pox I have.

Pilgrim "Woman": Can I set the turkey on fire?

Pilgrim #1: *sighs* Fine.

Pilgrim #2: Can we end this now?

Pilgrim #1: I want pie.

Jamie: Okay. I think we're done here.

Pilgrim "Woman": (Rushing in with a flaming Turkey over "her" head) I HAVE CREATED FIRE!

Jamie sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"Happy Thanksgiving everyone."

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Claudia was less impressed with the acting than she was looking for a fire extinguisher.

"Strangely enough, I think that's one of my better productions," Jamie mused. "You have anything to put out that turkey?"

"Not on me. You want me to go into the hall and look for a fire extinguisher?"

Jamie was about to give another answer when suddenly the Native American Jamie ran in with a fire extinguisher and hosed the turkey down.

"Nah. I think we're good."

Of course now the "Woman" pilgrim was now attacking the Native American Jamie for "DESTROYING HER FIRE"

"So. Got plans for the holiday?" Jamie asked clearly ignorning the crazy dupes.

Claudia continued to watch them, somewhat fascinated.

"I've been trying to book a portal to Geneva, where my brother's living, but uh. Doesn't look like that's going to work. So I'm sticking around here."

"Ah. Thanksgiving on the island," Jamie smirked. "No worries. They make a mean pumpkin pie here. Or they used too."

"They do. I've been here for it, before." Back when she was still trying to rescue her brother from a pocket dimension. "Unless you meant literally mean. Like, they insult you or something."

"Well... now they will," Jamie replied. "I'd imagine they'd get pretty agitated when you top them with cool whip. So be careful tomorrow."

"I've never been a big cool whip girl, anyway. How about you? Any big plans for you and . . . the rest of you?"

"I'm not a portalocity frequent timey-wimey whatever," Jamie said with a shrug. "So I'll just weather it out here and enjoy the turkey coma."

"I am one, and it still wants to route me through more than half the known universes before it'll send me to Geneva."

"Sounds like a giant pain," Jamie said shaking his head. "But are they charging a baggage fee yet? At least they have one over the airlines that way."

"Dunno, I always just travel with a backpack anyway."

What was the school board thinking giving Jamie Madrox a teaching position?

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