When the class entered the Dangershop today, they'd find that classroom had been transformed into a bowling alley.

And yes. There were zombies. In bowling shirts.

There was also Columbus who... well let's just say that seeing his little family unit for a brief period of time only to lose them again in less than 24 hours made him a bit woobie-ish.

Standing behind Columbus was a tall man in a green duster, t-shirt and a cowboy hat looking for all the world that he'd rather be somewhere else than right here and now. He was also shooting Columbus dirty looks and muttering about moving on as soon as possible.

"Hey everyone," Columbus said with forced cheerfulness. "This here is a representation of a friend of mine from back home. You might have seen him running around the island this weekend. I had hoped that he might stick around but... Well, anyway. Please give Tallahassee a warm welcome."

The holographic Tallahassee gave Columbus a dirty look and grunted in acknowledgement.

"Sometimes life in a zombie apocalypse can be a very solitary kind of life," Columbus continued. "But if you're lucky you can hook up with someone who can help you increase the odds of survival. Which is why I made up rule number eight."

Yep. Get ready for the block letters.

"You see," Columbus continued, "My friend Tallahassee is in the ass kicking business. And in Zombieland..."

Columbus looked over to Tallahassee to finish the line. Tallahassee frowned back. Columbus nudged Tallahassee a little to make him say something. Tallahassee in turned rolled his eyes.

"Business is good," Tallahassee said with a long sigh.

"So by increasing the odds-"

"Hold on," interrupted the holographic Tallahassee. He held up his hands and then pushed Columbus back a bit. "Now if you kids have been listening to this guy yammer for a while, you've probably figured out that he's a bit of a bitch."

Columbus opened his mouth to object and Tallahassee quickly waved him away and went over to one of the bowling ball racks. "Hopefully you kids haven't picked up too many of his wussy ways. But if you have, I have a lesson here for those of you who'd like to kill a zombie without a ton of blood. Not that there's anything wrong with a ton of blood. Especially if you want to paint your face afterward."

Columbus tried to object again. Tallahassee just ignored him as he dropped the bowling ball into a nearby backpack. "But if you're a bit squeamish you can try this."

Columbus sighed and clicked the remote. And large block letters appeared behind Tallahassee.

Rule # 15: Bowling Ball

"Now get yourself a bowling ball. Preferably about sixteen pounds. Don't use a little pink one. Not enough heft. Now if you need to you can drop it from above or you can just put it in a sack and swing it like this."

Tallahassee began to swing the bowling ball around and around and tossed it at a nearby Zombie. "JENGA!"

And the bag hit the zombie in the head, knocking him down like a sack of potatoes. A gory sack of potatoes.

Columbus gave a little cough. "As you can see having a partner around can certain help. Today I want you to hook up with a partner and-"

"Kick some ass!"

Columbus sighed. "Yes. Kick some ass."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

With an icon of your character's BFF or partner.

South P. Colorado

Montreal, Quebec

England

Balamb Garden

Lion-o

Weaverville, Calif.

New York

And possibly wonder if it's healthy for Columbus to be recreating his BFF in a holographic format.

Well, if the pink bowling balls were out, Butters knew he better limber up or else he'd sure have a hard time with the heavier ones.

Bod got himself limbered up by stretching and running in place. That seemed to get his heart rate going so he figured he was ready for tossing bowling balls around.

Seifer sighed and rolled his shoulders while he looked for the heavier bowling balls.

Partner up and defend yourself from a bowling zombie horde!

While he waited for a partner, Bod was trying to find a suitable bowling ball that wasn't pink and was heavy. He found a few good black ones and kept them in mind.

Seifer looked over at Bod and shrugged. "Want to take bets on how many we take out?"

Bod scratched his cheek and wondered how well he would be able to throw bowling balls for this activity. "I think it would all depend on my aim. I'm not really a sharpshooter especially with heavy bowling balls."

Seifer picked up a bowling ball, testing the weight. "Neither am I. I'm more used to swinging a sword than actually trying to aim at a moving head."

About twenty pounds. He could probably take off a head or two with it, with the enhanced strength from Ifrit.

"I'm fairly sure I'll be able to throw it just fine but where it goes from there?" Bod laughed and shook his head. "That's anyone's guess. I'm willing to try though. Perhaps I'll get lucky."

Seifer nodded and gave it a shot, lobbing a bowling ball at the nearest zombie. Teh ball hit the creature in the head, and sort of... stuck as the zombie fell over.

"Guess I didn't think of the suck factor."

Bod's eyes widened at that. "...should we retrieve that ball or get a new one? I'm sure that one will be messy but it was effective."

"Retrieving it would require walking over there and touching it," Seifer said, a little disgusted. "I'd rather just get more and set the wasted ones on fire."

Fire was his answer to everything 'zombie'.

"I think I'll leave the fire to you," Bod decided, already glancing around for a good sized bowling ball that he could fire. "I can manage a campfire but I don't think that's the proper fire for this situation."

See, now Seifer was just going to experiment. "If big and heavy sticks, I wonder if small and light would bounce."

Bod hefted up a fairly heavy bowling ball before shooting Seifer a look for that one. It sounded....like it would destroy things.

"You're going to try and bounce a bowling ball?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Do you think you can?"

"Bounce it off of them. Or shoot straight through like a bullet." It was a class, not really a life or death situation. "It's good to test these things," he said as he looked for something small and sparkly.

"If there's anything I can do to help, let me know," Bod said, finally taking the ball he'd picked up and heaving it at the legs of a zombie. That effectively took him off his feet though he was still crawling.

See? His aim wasn't the best.

Seifer found a sparkly blue ball and waved it a bit to test the balance. "Now it's easier to kick. Or roll a ball into it's head."

"Kick?" Bod asked, wincing. "You don't think that's going to hurt your foot?"

He wasn't familiar with the heavily protected boots some people wore, no.

Seifer blinked, and then pointed down at his foot. "Dragon bone toed boots. Won't feel a thing."

"That's...helpful," Bod said, not having heard of that before. "My shoes offer no extra protection hence my question. Dragon bone's a new one for me."

Or his holographic partner.

Randomly? Anthony Michael Hall makes a great bad guy.

Tuesday: How to survive the Zombie Apocalypse

Rule # 15: Bowling Ball

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Limber Up/Lecture

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Get a Kickass Partner

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Talk to Columbus!

OOC