fandomhigh | The Club Fair, Gym, Friday Afternoon

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!event: club fair

The Club Fair, Gym, Friday Afternoon

Though he'd heard about something like it being in the works, the club fair wasn't what Simon had been looking for.

Regardless, it was what he found, just as it was being set up. He almost left straight away, to avoid being in anyone's way, but then his curiosity won out. So, he decided to stay and take a look at the club schedule.

Couldn't hurt, could it?

[ooc: ~~Wait for the OCD!~~ OCD achieved, have at!]

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...coffee, Tony would totally accept.

"We're almost done with your van." That might be able to fly. Honestly, boys.

"Oh, yeah?" Warren smiled a bit. Hey, the van was awesomely neutral territory. The van was a perfectly acceptable conversation starter. "I was beginning to wonder. You took good care of it?"

"You might need to be careful of some of the new additions." Like all of them. "But I changed the driver's seat for your--" He gestured toward the wings.

"Wings," Warren supplied, because... that was what they were, and all. "And I appreciate that."

A beat.

"What do I need to be careful of?"

Tony cleared his throat. "It might go a little faster than before. And fly."

.... Whut.

"Okay. Two questions, and you can feel free to answer them in whatever order you want," Warren ventured, kind of terrified of the answer already. "How fast does it go now, and why can my van fly?"

"If everything works right, it should his at least two hundred miles an hour on the ground." That was way better for a mini-van, right? "And... Ben and I got a little carried away."

A beat.

"Bobby helped paint. He's not allowed in my lab again, just so you know."

"Usually he's pretty good at not breaking things if you give him something shiny as a distraction," Warren offered, because joking about Bobby seemed way less mind-altering than trying to absorb the fact that he now owned a rocketvan.

"... Where in the world will I get enough open road to get that fast on the ground without alerting the national guard, exactly?"

He was all full of questions, today!

"In case you go to Karla's home!" A beat. "Also, it runs on water."

"... You found a way to make an engine that runs on water?"

At least Warren wouldn't have to worry about a lack of that in Glacia. Or about... rocket fuel or something.

"It won't freeze on me in the winter or anything, right?"

"It shouldn't, but it'll take some maintenance to keep it up," Tony warned him. "It's not like you're SHIELD or something, though. So, you won't be using it all the time."

"You... just told me that I won't be using my own van all the time. Because I'm not government intelligence in charge of national security. You know that, right?"

His van, Tony.

"...Yes?" Look, he also flew around in a suit of armor. A suit of armor.

"The van my girlfriend gave me? I won't be driving that frequently, because I'm not SHIELD?"

He was going to lead into his point slowly, today.

"...Well, they have a similar engine design for the helicarrier."

No, he wasn't getting it, Warren. Sorry.

That sentence alone was horrifying on so many levels, Tony.

"... What else can it do?"

There was always an 'else.' It was probably a good idea to find out before he wound up causing some sort of international incident.

"There are a few small defensive capabilities. In case you're attacked or something."

Missiles. Lots of 'em.

Warren was now just openly gaping at you, Tony.

"Who would attack a bright yellow minivan?"

Somebody who hated soccer moms?!

"And where do we live?"

"Currently on..." Oh. "Point taken. So, what sort of defensive capabilities?"

Better tell him, Tony. He didn't want to accidentally blow up your dorm room or something.

"A few missiles." A beat. "Some lasers."

Laaaaaasers.

Warren didn't even have a proper rebuke for that.

Warren was just standing there and staring at Tony, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide in disbelief.

....

Okay. He was making squeaky noises now. That was progress!

Kind of!

"You might need them!"

"I've never fired a weapon in my life!"

Paintball and laser tag didn't count!

"That's okay!" Tony said, totally not getting it. "They're automatic."

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