fandomhigh | Wednesday: What was the school board thinking giving Jamie Madrox a teaching position?

Instead of going to a classroom today, the students were directed to the third floor of the dorms where they would find the hallway teeming with Jamie-Dupes wearing labcoats and goggles. Each one of them had a clipboard, calipers, measuring tape, litmus strips, cotton swabs and all sorts of scientific goodies that they seemed to be using on all of the doorknobs on the third floor.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Jamie said stepping forward and pulling down his goggles. "Today we leave our childhood behind and step into the future. Into the grand thing we know as... SCIENCE!"

If Reed Richards knew what was going to happen next, there would be a lot of weeping for the future.

"It has long been hypothesized that the doors in the dorms have curious properties."

Um. No. They really haven't.

"In fact one might say the doorknobs of these doors... taste like bacon."

Yep. Reed Richards. Big honking tears.

"Your job is to lick these doorknobs and see if they taste like bacon. FOR SCIENCE!"

Don't expect to get a Nobel prize for this one Jamie.

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It was a tempting offer. It really was.

"What happens in detention here?" Richie asked. Five pounds of bacon was almost definitely going to end with him puking his guts out, so he had to explore his options.

"You were here over the weekend right?" Jamie noted. "Just think about a vindictive teacher in a danger shop."

That sounded a little bit like Ethics. Professor Skywalker kind of creeped Richie out. A lot. Maybe he'd have to debate which classmate to eat when the bacon ran out.

"I'll take my chances with the detention," Richie said. "You'd probably make me eat raw bacon, anyway. For science."

"Done."

Wednesday: What was the school board thinking giving Jamie Madrox a teaching position?

Re: For SCIENCE!

Re: For SCIENCE!

Re: For SCIENCE!

Re: For SCIENCE!