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Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Wednesday | Period 1

Today in class, the students were fortunate enough to have a fully-human, fully-clothed teacher. Sure, that teacher was one who had spent the weekend sobbing into an empty bottle of Bordeaux, but that was neither here nor there.

“Today,” said Neal, “we’re going to do a couple of workshops.”

The room was set up with three main tables, with various pieces of equipment in buckets on each one. Yes, the class was a bit small to do workshops like this, but that was what he was doing and that was that.

“I’ve set up three main stations for you all, and each one focuses on a different manual task that’s pretty much essential in this field. I’m not saying you have to be experts at it, especially if you want to move to the more white-collar stuff, but you’ve got to know the basics. So here we have lock-picking, pickpocketing, and forgery.” He pointed to each table as he spoke, then shrugged.

“Any questions?”

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Yeah, the radio broadcasts had made him pretty pleased he hadn't left his apahe said, rtment.
"Oh, I laid low," he said innocuously. "You?"

He knew what she'd done. But that wouldn't fit with his innocent act, would it?

"Errrm and how is Mozzie? I think I figured out his message," Kenzi said, feigning deafness. If she didn't hear it, she didn't have to answer it.

"Actually," Neal said, faintly amused, "he asked about you. I think you impressed him."

Of course she had.

"I did?" Kenzi beamed, straightening. "I think I figured out the code! I mean, it can't be a time, that would be too obvious, so I thought it would be either a place or a contact, and a place would be more regular, you wouldn't want to be too predictable meeting with people, and this way he could tell you where he was so you'd know how to get in touch!"

Yes, she'd delay talk of the weekend forevvvvver.

Yep, no doubt about it: Neal was impressed.

"Good," he said, sincerely. "That's it. Tuesday's a reference to 58th and -- " He broke off, grinning in such a way that made it clear the "slip" was deliberate.

"So how was your weekend, Kenzi?"

Kenzi pouted at him, then settled back to sip her own coffee. "Weird. Really weird. Also, violent in some places. Did you see the new volcano?"

"Yeah, that was definitely a surprise," Neal laughed. (It had hit just as he was finishing up sobbing "Kaaaaaaaaate!" into a wine bottle, but the good news was that it seemed to stop the weirdness that had led to him sobbing in the first place.)

"So what'd you do?" Nope, he wasn't letting this one go.

Flail, then subside with a sigh. "I had a stupid accent. And I might have been mafia. Or ex-KGB. Hard to be sure which. I stole medical files. And broke up a wedding." That had been fun.

Neal just laughed. He was learning to take this stuff in stride.

"Of course you did," he laughed. "Why does that not surprise me?"

"It was a really stupid accent," Kenzi admitted, heartened by him finding it funny and not deeply disturbing. "I mean, I speak perfect Latvian. Why would my accent be that bad?"

"Latvian?" Huh. Neal considered that. "Didn't peg you as bilingual."

"//How do you peg someone as bilingual?//" Kenzi asked, then went on to say, "//It's easy if you grow up with it...// I didn't have to study, if that's what you mean. Nana's English never got up to rock-star standards."

Yeah, he was totally at a loss for translating that. If it had been something easier, like, say, French, he might've had a shot, but...

"Good for you," Neal had to applaud her. "Assuming that you didn't just make up random syllables."

Kenzi cackled, and said, "I could? Te vellum ad lipso sanctum, maritszo, dena!" She cocked her head. "In the language of my people, '58th and where?'"

...Well-played, Kenzi. Well-played.

"Wouldn't you like to know." But he was impressed, and it showed. "Now, I'm just gonna throw this out there -- you miiight have better luck sweet-talking, say, that girl who looks like a baby deer over there." He nodded in the student in question's general direction.

"Who, Miley?" Kenzi smirked. "We're pals!" For given value of 'pals' there.

"Does that mean you exploit her relentlessly?" See, Neal got the dynamic. "Let me guess... she buys your Gremlin-B-Gone?"

Close but no cigar!

Kenzi's eyes shifted, and she knew it was a tell, so she shrugged, looking calm. "If she really wants out of our business arrangements, it's up to her. I'm not scaring or scarring her into it." She grinned slightly. "And she benefits from my experience." Like, Yes, most guys are built like Mr. Caffrey, but not that cute.

It was true. Kenzi's insight was invaluable when it came to nudity. If nothing else, it helped Miley not giggle relentlessly.

"Okay, okay," Neal conceded, accepting that there was something in that story that wasn't being told. "So who have you scammed lately? There seems to be a rumor running around the teachers' lounge about a forgery...?"

~~Self-obsessed mun was self-obsessed.~~

Kenzi looked mystified for a moment, than grinned in delight. "If they haven't busted me I can neither confirm nor deny that any election nomination forms might have been submitted on behalf of parties too busy moping to realize there was a deadline."

So, so devious.

Neal just looked at her for a moment, then laughed. "Man," he said, amused. "When Peter comes by in a couple weeks, he's gonna get such a kick out of you."

Such. SUCH.

Kenzi grinned. "Oh hey, is he bringing his nice wife? I like her. We talked shoes!"

"Maybe," Neal laughed. "I'll have to ~~see if someone wants to play her~~ talk to Peter about it. But I'll be sure to let them know your vote."

A beat.

"And no Mozzie," he said, hating to be the bearer of bad news as always. "Sorry."

"Awwwww." Kenzi pouted. "But, but, but! Codes! Encryption! Possibly special brands of sushi!"

Yes, they'd texted a lot. Most of it confusing. But still!

"He doesn't love Peter," Neal explained. "Authority's... not his favorite thing." He snorted, musing, "Can't imagine what he'd do if he met Zoe."

Sob, probably.

Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Wednesday | Period 1

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