fandomhigh | Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Wednesday

Entry tags:

tricks & cons

Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Wednesday | Period 1

Today in class, the students were fortunate enough to have a fully-human, fully-clothed teacher. Sure, that teacher was one who had spent the weekend sobbing into an empty bottle of Bordeaux, but that was neither here nor there.

“Today,” said Neal, “we’re going to do a couple of workshops.”

The room was set up with three main tables, with various pieces of equipment in buckets on each one. Yes, the class was a bit small to do workshops like this, but that was what he was doing and that was that.

“I’ve set up three main stations for you all, and each one focuses on a different manual task that’s pretty much essential in this field. I’m not saying you have to be experts at it, especially if you want to move to the more white-collar stuff, but you’ve got to know the basics. So here we have lock-picking, pickpocketing, and forgery.” He pointed to each table as he spoke, then shrugged.

“Any questions?”

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Flail, then subside with a sigh. "I had a stupid accent. And I might have been mafia. Or ex-KGB. Hard to be sure which. I stole medical files. And broke up a wedding." That had been fun.

Neal just laughed. He was learning to take this stuff in stride.

"Of course you did," he laughed. "Why does that not surprise me?"

"It was a really stupid accent," Kenzi admitted, heartened by him finding it funny and not deeply disturbing. "I mean, I speak perfect Latvian. Why would my accent be that bad?"

"Latvian?" Huh. Neal considered that. "Didn't peg you as bilingual."

"//How do you peg someone as bilingual?//" Kenzi asked, then went on to say, "//It's easy if you grow up with it...// I didn't have to study, if that's what you mean. Nana's English never got up to rock-star standards."

Yeah, he was totally at a loss for translating that. If it had been something easier, like, say, French, he might've had a shot, but...

"Good for you," Neal had to applaud her. "Assuming that you didn't just make up random syllables."

Kenzi cackled, and said, "I could? Te vellum ad lipso sanctum, maritszo, dena!" She cocked her head. "In the language of my people, '58th and where?'"

...Well-played, Kenzi. Well-played.

"Wouldn't you like to know." But he was impressed, and it showed. "Now, I'm just gonna throw this out there -- you miiight have better luck sweet-talking, say, that girl who looks like a baby deer over there." He nodded in the student in question's general direction.

"Who, Miley?" Kenzi smirked. "We're pals!" For given value of 'pals' there.

"Does that mean you exploit her relentlessly?" See, Neal got the dynamic. "Let me guess... she buys your Gremlin-B-Gone?"

Close but no cigar!

Kenzi's eyes shifted, and she knew it was a tell, so she shrugged, looking calm. "If she really wants out of our business arrangements, it's up to her. I'm not scaring or scarring her into it." She grinned slightly. "And she benefits from my experience." Like, Yes, most guys are built like Mr. Caffrey, but not that cute.

It was true. Kenzi's insight was invaluable when it came to nudity. If nothing else, it helped Miley not giggle relentlessly.

"Okay, okay," Neal conceded, accepting that there was something in that story that wasn't being told. "So who have you scammed lately? There seems to be a rumor running around the teachers' lounge about a forgery...?"

~~Self-obsessed mun was self-obsessed.~~

Kenzi looked mystified for a moment, than grinned in delight. "If they haven't busted me I can neither confirm nor deny that any election nomination forms might have been submitted on behalf of parties too busy moping to realize there was a deadline."

So, so devious.

Neal just looked at her for a moment, then laughed. "Man," he said, amused. "When Peter comes by in a couple weeks, he's gonna get such a kick out of you."

Such. SUCH.

Kenzi grinned. "Oh hey, is he bringing his nice wife? I like her. We talked shoes!"

"Maybe," Neal laughed. "I'll have to ~~see if someone wants to play her~~ talk to Peter about it. But I'll be sure to let them know your vote."

A beat.

"And no Mozzie," he said, hating to be the bearer of bad news as always. "Sorry."

"Awwwww." Kenzi pouted. "But, but, but! Codes! Encryption! Possibly special brands of sushi!"

Yes, they'd texted a lot. Most of it confusing. But still!

"He doesn't love Peter," Neal explained. "Authority's... not his favorite thing." He snorted, musing, "Can't imagine what he'd do if he met Zoe."

Sob, probably.

"I want to be her when I grow up," Kenzi said solemnly. "... if I wasn't, you know. Me."

Aww. And here Neal had thought she was aspiring to be just like him!

"Not sure if I should be hurt," he teased. "What about your friend? Bo?"

Kenzi grinned at him, then her eyebrows rose. "Be like Bo? Seriously? That's like aspiring to be Meryl Streep after you took a few acting classes." She paused, and equivocated, "Plus, Bo has issues. She's awesome, but I don't want her life." She grinned. "I do want yours. But I promise not to go stalker on you."

Neal laughed. "You mean like my 'teaching buddy' did to that student this weekend?"

Yikes, Hermione. Just yikes. But way to blow your cover about not listening to the radio, Neal.

"Dude, she's your teaching buddy? That's as bad as-- some of the other stuff that happened this weekend." Ahem! Ahem. Yeah. "Lots of awkward Monday morning around here."

"Getting that," Neal said, nodding. "Is it weird that it's kind of entertaining to watch, though? I mean, when I leave after this semester, I might sort of... miss it."

"Awwww." Kenzi would miss Mr. Caffrey. Maybe she'd get an actual cat and name him that. "And no, I'm pretty sure it's awesome entertainment if you're not crazy or diseased in the middle of it." And she had two more years of it to look forward to, woo!

Re: Talk to Neal

charming_thief - 2011-09-15 02:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Talk to Neal

regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com - 2011-09-15 03:38 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only