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Library, Tuesday

Rinoa had not even wanted to get out of bed today. After her stupid, ridiculous fight with Squall, and yes, she knew she was being stupid, and no, that didn't help anything, she had gone back to her room for a good, long cry. Feeling guilty, feeling like she had betrayed him, feeling like he had betrayed her, feeling like this was all Seifer's fault somehow.

The fact that this was all irrational and ridiculous somehow only made everything worse. That couldn't change the fact that the fight had been ugly, or that she had no idea where things stood, now, or where she even wanted them to.

The library was open, and the librarian's aide was going to be hiding in the shelves as much as possible.

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She's trying to hide IC, but fairly easy to find, and you're perfectly welcome to do so OOC.

It had taken him a few minutes to find her, but eventually Seifer did. When he did find her though, his courage kind of fled and he stood back a bit.

"So, this weekend was a little crazy."

Just a little.

Rinoa knew that voice. Rinoa wished she didn't know that voice. Rinoa also wished she had a teleporter, a million gil, and any idea whether she wanted to punch him or not.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

"A little?" she asked, her voice sounding harsh.

Seifer winced and looked away, trying not to let it show how deep that cut. "At least we weren't Skywalkers or Starks?"

He was really trying to find a bright side now.

Rinoa leaned against the nearest stack of books. Anything so she didn't have to look at him. Because he had come here, to talk, and she was being cruel, and she knew it.

"If I asked you," she said, trying to sound neutral. "How many, this weekend."

Why was that one of the things bothering her? Did she even know how many things were bothering her? None of them even made sense.

Of all the questions she could have asked, why did it have to be that one? The one that was pissing him off, and he had no idea why.

"Does it matter? Last time I checked, Squall was the only one you should be upset about. Besides, you saw the twitter conversation."

Okay, he knew why it pissed him off, because she had no right to be upset with him sleeping with anyone else.

"Yes, it matters," Rinoa snapped. No, it didn't. And it wasn't her place to be angry about it. Why couldn't she stop talking? "Because it makes me feel cheap. It wasn't us and it didn't mean anything but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt, finding out I was just part of some ... conga line."

Edited 2011-09-13 20:29 (UTC)

Seifer took a step back and tried to remind himself that this was Rinoa, and she didn't mean it that way, but the bigger part of himself was just wanting to respond to the attack.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Princess," he snarled. "When I get brain-hijacked, again, I'll remember to read the memo on not to include you in whatever I get dragged into."

"Hynedammit, Seifer, I didn't mean it like that, and you know it," she seethed.

No, she wasn't sure how he was taking it, or how she had meant it, or how they differed. Those were details. He was being weird and she was being weird and why couldn't all of this just stop!?

"I screamed at him," she said, finally. "I yelled, and he yelled, and I don't even know if we're okay, or why this even bothers me so much. None of it was us, and I should just let it go, and I'm being stupid. I admit it. Does that help? Because I keep telling myself that and it doesn't change how I feel."

She hated it when he made 'Princess' sound like a slap in the face.

"I don't know anything right now, Rinoa," which was a lie. He knew that right now, his head was splitting, something very nasty was creeping up and rearing it's ugly head and he was going to suffer the fallout.

Again.

"So why don't you tell me how you feel?"

Rinoa turned to look at him, and that was her first mistake. Oh, Hyne, she was hurting him. This was bad enough without hurting him. Or Squall. Or both of them. She was officially the worst girlfriend/ex-girlfriend ever.

"Hurt," she said, finally. "Messy. Hollow. I don't even ... Like something wonderful was just smashed on the ground and I don't know how to tape all the pieces together again. And it's not just me and him, it's me and you, and me and you and him, and knowing that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and just supposed to get over it and not care, that ... that feels like walking away and not even trying to sweep it up, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do any more."

She wasn't sure why he wasn't yelling right now. He could yell. It was probably his turn to yell.

Seifer wasn't yelling because he tried really hard not to yell at girls. It was the whole knight and saving damsels part of him that he still clung too.

"You do whatever you have to do to make peace with the situation, Rinoa. And if that means you have to blame me, then you do it," he said as he started to turn away.

He was getting used to being blamed.

Rinoa reached out, abruptly, to try to catch the sleeve of his coat ~~if he was wearing it, or his shirt if he wasn't~~.

"I ..."

Her voice was hesitant, and she swallowed past a lump.

"I didn't mean ..."

This was the first time they'd even seen each other since ... well. That. It shouldn't be like this. And she was sorry, even if she couldn't make herself say it.

He shrugged away, pulling his arm out of reach. "Just ...whatever, Rinoa. Make up with Prince Charming and move the fuck on."

She deserved that. That was the worst part of it.

And so she didn't try to grab him again, or say anything else. She let him go, and waited until he was gone to start crying again.

The less emo approach.

If she's here.

BOMP.

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Library, Tuesday

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