fandomhigh | BASIC STRATEGY, MONDAY, PERIOD 4

Tyrion had dragged himself back to his apartment for long enough to bathe and put on ~~vaguely Medieval~~ normal clothes, but he couldn't do much about the circles under his eyes.

"I spent the night with a broken neck and gunshot wounds at the bottom of an inexplicable stairwell in the park," he greeted the students, once they were assembled. "I spent the day before that up a tree shooting at people. These are not situations I ever expected to find myself in. As such, I've postponed my planned lecture to next week."

A pause. "Dolf, Lucrezia, and Tony." Oh, Gods, he couldn't look at them ~~if they were even there~~. "If you wish, you're excused for the day with full marks."

It was the least he could do after having tried to kill his students, or let them hire him for an assassin.

He paced a few steps, then: "The rest of you, write a two-part essay. In the first part, if you feel your weekend was worse than mine, tell me about it. If you were unscathed, tell me how you managed that. Either way, use the second part to tell me what you'd do if you woke up one morning and realized you'd spent the last two days trying to kill people -- and not even done a very good job of it. When you're done writing, you may leave or quietly study at your desks."

And then he was going to sit back at his desk, rest his head in his arms, and try to think his way to a happy place. Not the one full of naked girls, the other one. The peaceful one, where everything was okay.

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"You were," Tyrion said, matter-of-fact. "I think we forgot to account for the possibility I might not be in my right mind."

"I wasn't full of marbles either," she admitted, lips twisting in an expression of distaste. "I doubt I was in any state to be trying to stop you, or anyone else."

She had been pathetic. Really pathetic and ridiculously weepy.

"Given I was propositioning girls over coffee and out for blood because of a sugar bowl, I doubt I was in any state to be stopped."

Tyrion sighed.

"How often do things like that happen?"

"I haven't seen anything like that before," Kate admitted. "At least when I was a flying pony I was a sane flying pony who wasn't being blackmailed to disrupt a wedding."

"A sane flying pony," Tyrion repeated, dubiously, as he reminded himself not to curse in front of the students. (And also, in some self-pitying part of his brain, realized that if he were a pony he'd no doubt be the kind of miniature strain girls kept as pets.)

"I was hired by one of the grooms to kill his new husband's boyfriend. It was quite a wedding."

"The first I've been to, and I don't think I'll forget it." After that one, she was feeling far less inclined to go to any others she might be invited to in the future.

"Did you actually know any of them?" Because that might be awkward.

"The Starks," Tyrion said. "I think so, at least. People looked wrong. No one I had any reason to kill."

"Weekends like this, maybe I should consider protecting other people from you," she told him, tempering it with a slight smirk. "Rather than the other way around."

"Maybe. If you ever see me with a gun, take it from me," Tyrion informed her. "I'd have had better luck bashing people with a shield."

BASIC STRATEGY, MONDAY, PERIOD 4

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Re: Talk to Tyrion [9/12]

Re: Talk to Tyrion [9/12]

Re: Talk to Tyrion [9/12]

Re: Talk to Tyrion [9/12]