Fighting for Funsies, Friday - 9/2

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool was not dressed up like a flying rainbow cat today. Which was probably a good thing for the class. But, possibly to make up for it, possibly just because, there were a number of clown shaped punching bags.

"Its Friday. Friday. Tomorrow will be Saturday," he informed the class seriously. "That probably means that you've spent the majority of this week giving introductions and talking about where you're from and all the deep, underlying trauma that lead you to come to Fandom and oh em gee someone looks just like you! But here's the thing... I don't care about any of that crap. Straight up don't give a damn. I mean, I guess I could smile and nod like I did, but it's Friday, this class is about fighting, not talking about The View, and I'm lazy."

Deadpool: best teacher ever.

He clapped his hands together cheerfully to encourage them to accept these facts and move on. "So, instead, you're gonna hit a clown and tell me how you like to fight." A beat. "If the clown hits back, I'll be both impressed and terrified that they're becoming as smart as people."

Another beat.

"And Madrox."

He says it with love! Stabby, stabby love.

Comments

Re: Punch a Damn Clown

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"No, its just an opponent worthy of your skills," Deadpool assured him.

Re: Punch a Damn Clown

[i-am-the-rat.livejournal.com]

"...It's using a little reverse psychology on me, eh?" Hank eyed the clown warily. "I'm so used to fighting trained henchmen that I'm using entirely the wrong approach!!! Think, Hank, think... W.W.B.D.? What would Brock do?"

He pondered the situation, trying to come up with an answer.

Re: Punch a Damn Clown

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Maybe he'd try some banter," Deadpool suggested with somehow producing a bag of popcorn from one of those pouches. This could prove to be entertaining, after all.

Re: Punch a Damn Clown

[i-am-the-rat.livejournal.com]

"With all due respect, Mr. Deadpool, sir," Hank replied condescendingly, "I'm the Brock expert. Banter's not really his 'thing'." With air quotes.

"No, what Brock would do is... this!" And Hank hauled off and swung his fist at the clown.

If Hank's life were a TV show, the next scene would be shot from the clown's perspective, looking straight into Hank's eyes. He would be trying to mimic Brock Samson's sheer crazed bloodlust, but just looking a little constipated. In slow motion, his fist would fly straight at the camera until it filled the screen. The actual moment of physical contact wouldn't be shown, but it would instead cut straight to Hank folding his arms in triumph while the clown swung back until it was nearly flattened against the ground.

It was a perfect punch, and it wasn't likely that Hank would ever duplicate it. "And THAT'S how it's done!!!" he told Deadpool with a cocky grin.

Just before the punching bag swung back up and knocked him clear across the room.