fandomhigh | Fighting for Funsies, Friday

Fighting for Funsies, Friday - 9/2

Deadpool was not dressed up like a flying rainbow cat today. Which was probably a good thing for the class. But, possibly to make up for it, possibly just because, there were a number of clown shaped punching bags.

"Its Friday. Friday. Tomorrow will be Saturday," he informed the class seriously. "That probably means that you've spent the majority of this week giving introductions and talking about where you're from and all the deep, underlying trauma that lead you to come to Fandom and oh em gee someone looks just like you! But here's the thing... I don't care about any of that crap. Straight up don't give a damn. I mean, I guess I could smile and nod like I did, but it's Friday, this class is about fighting, not talking about The View, and I'm lazy."

Deadpool: best teacher ever.

He clapped his hands together cheerfully to encourage them to accept these facts and move on. "So, instead, you're gonna hit a clown and tell me how you like to fight." A beat. "If the clown hits back, I'll be both impressed and terrified that they're becoming as smart as people."

Another beat.

"And Madrox."

He says it with love! Stabby, stabby love.

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Like you don't know which seat you should take.

Hank Venture

Cassidy

Edited 2011-09-02 16:45 (UTC)

Surreal

Bruce Wayne

Sov Thade Tage em Ereb

Shane Gooseman

Alex Aaron

Cara

James of Krondor

You know you've wanted to since you walked in.

Hank probably knew judo or something, so he stepped up to a clown and gave it his best karate chop. Judo chop. Thing.

And missed.

The second time he swung, he managed to hit the clown squarely on its "shoulder" -- right where he was aiming!!! -- but not hard enough for it to move very much. The third time, he struck a glancing blow right on the seam of the plastic and managed to nick himself. Was it still called a papercut if you got it from vinyl?

He raised his hand. "Mr. Deadpool, sir? I think mine's broken."

"No, its just an opponent worthy of your skills," Deadpool assured him.

"...It's using a little reverse psychology on me, eh?" Hank eyed the clown warily. "I'm so used to fighting trained henchmen that I'm using entirely the wrong approach!!! Think, Hank, think... W.W.B.D.? What would Brock do?"

He pondered the situation, trying to come up with an answer.

"Maybe he'd try some banter," Deadpool suggested with somehow producing a bag of popcorn from one of those pouches. This could prove to be entertaining, after all.

"With all due respect, Mr. Deadpool, sir," Hank replied condescendingly, "I'm the Brock expert. Banter's not really his 'thing'." With air quotes.

"No, what Brock would do is... this!" And Hank hauled off and swung his fist at the clown.

If Hank's life were a TV show, the next scene would be shot from the clown's perspective, looking straight into Hank's eyes. He would be trying to mimic Brock Samson's sheer crazed bloodlust, but just looking a little constipated. In slow motion, his fist would fly straight at the camera until it filled the screen. The actual moment of physical contact wouldn't be shown, but it would instead cut straight to Hank folding his arms in triumph while the clown swung back until it was nearly flattened against the ground.

It was a perfect punch, and it wasn't likely that Hank would ever duplicate it. "And THAT'S how it's done!!!" he told Deadpool with a cocky grin.

Just before the punching bag swung back up and knocked him clear across the room.

Creepy clown things.

Again.

Cassidy thought that maybe Deadpool just liked seeing people reacting to these things and she aimed a very definite punch at it.

She was so going to blow it up later, wasn't she? Yes, because she was still convinced these things were evil.

They were evil, damn it! Look at those beady little eyes and say it wasn't the most evil thing on the planet. "Good little ginger girl, good. You show that clown."

Cassidy hit the thing again. It was obvious that she really didn't like it.

Only the presence of Deadpool kept her from doing something worse to it with her Jewel.

Maybe.

Surreal just regarded the punching-things warily. "What is it?" she asked, not caring who answered her. "Why does its face look like that?"

There were no clowns in her world. Lucky, lucky girl.

"Creepy," Cassidy said succinctly. "This will be the second time I have been in a class where we punched these things. I still have yet to be given a good reason why I can't just use witchfire and be done with it."

"Use witchfire and be done with it," Surreal suggested. "Or kick the base out from under it. If you fight by someone else's rules, you are always going to lose."

...said the girl seriously considering stabbing one just to see what would happen.

"Because it's an evil, soulless monster known as a clown," Deadpool replied. "Now beat the crap out of it, angry kid."

Surreal looked at Deadpool only slightly askance. And then looked at the clown dubiously.

Which, of course, meant she called in her stiletto and stabbed it neatly through the eye within a matter of seconds. As one does.

"Will that kill a clown?"

Cara eyed Surreal's stiletto enviously. "Do you think I could borrow that a minute...please."

She was capable of manners when it was something important.

If it had been anyone else, Surreal probably would have said no. She knew Cara from class, however, and trusted the other girl not to harm herself or the weapon.

She neatly flipped it over and offered it to Cara hilt-first. "Of course."

"Thanks", Cara said as she took the stiletto since again, manners were called for. She didn't skip off gleefully, but only because she wasn't a skippy or gleeful kind of person these days.

She returned shortly, offering the weapon back. "Nice balance."

"Nicely done," she approved as she took it back, not bothering to hide her admiration of the corpse of Cara's clown. "I do not think it is going to be giving anyone any more problems."

A flick of her wrist and the blade vanished. "They sure are ugly creatures."

Cara didn't preen, exactly, but it was always nice to have your work appreciated ~~especially when it was a brunette with knives doing it~~. "Neither is yours, by the look of things."

She nodded her agreement. "They're worse than gars or banelings." She'd been a baneling, however briefly, she was qualified to judge.

Sov wasn't sure how they had ended up in this class. They weren't really that into fighting. Of course they could stand their ground against their hearthsibs, but why take a class in that?

Without much enthusiasm they threw a punch against the ugly thing they were supposed to hit.

"Booooo! That sucked!" Deadpool: Master of constructive criticism.

Bruce approached the clown in a fairly menacing way, if that could even be a thing while approaching a fake clown, and the punched it really hard right in the nose. The nose squeaked.

"I'm not sure how punching a clown is supposed to be fun," Bruce said, since he didn't know his future and couldn't appreciate the irony.

Edited 2011-09-03 00:04 (UTC)

Goose wasted no time in punching one of the clowns, not that he'd had much to do with them before but he found that they did in fact creep him out.

Alex hauled back and punched the clown. Hard. Then he thought about stabbing it.

Wishing for her agiels or even one of Kahlan's daggers, Cara hauled off on her clown hard enough that if it hadn't been made of plastic and air it wouldn't have been getting up again anytime soon.

Shortly thereafter, using Surreal's borrowed dagger, Cara made sure the clown wouldn't be getting up ever again.

Pfft, property damage, what's that?

James squared off against the plastic fiend and hit it twice--once in the face to topple it, and once in the body to try to move it away.

This was one of the strangest introductions to a lesson...

Maybe about The View...

This class brought to you by

geewhizfellas who earwormed me Friday as I left for work.

THERE IS NO LOVE FOR MADROX! NONE! NOT EVEN THE STABBY KIND!

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Fighting for Funsies, Friday - 9/2

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