fandomhigh | Tuesday: Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse - Period 3

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survive the zombie apocalypse

Tuesday: Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse - Period 3 - Class 1

When the students entered the dangershop today, they would see that it had been turned into a deserted sports arena, complete with a track encircling a football field.

Well it wasn’t completely deserted. First there was the teacher who was standing in front of his students looking somewhat less awkward than he had over the summer.

Also? There was a zombified rugby team standing behind him. They were all frozen much as if someone had hit a pause button in the middle of a horror movie while they went out o get a bucket of popcorn.

But we’ll get to them later.

“Hi,” Columbus said with a nervous wave. “My name is Columbus Ohio and I’m your teacher.”

There was a slight clearing of his throat. “So if you’re here it means you want to learn something about surviving a zombie apocalypse. Or something about zombies. However having spent a little time in Fandom, I think you'll find that the skill you learn here will be more appropriate than you might think.”

Columbus then gestured at the frozen zombies standing behind him. “However we'll just talk about zombies for the moment. Depending on where you might be from there are variations on what zombies are out there. For instance these zombies are from my own world and don’t fall into a magic type of category. These people were transformed into zombies from a mutated version of the mad cow virus. Yes, technically they are still alive however one bite from these guys and within hours you’d be one of them. However no matter where you might have these types of monsters, the rules for survival will always apply. This of course brings us to the first rule.”

Columbus fumbled with the dangershop remote for a moment or two until words in giant block letters appeared behind him:

“Cardio. That’s the first rule of surviving Zombieland. When the outbreak first hit, the first to go were the people who were out of shape. For obvious reasons. Your homework for the rest of this summer session will be to go for a run at least three times a week and keep a log of how far and how long you were able to go. Don’t laugh. It may not be the most manly of skills but it’ll serve you well in the long run. Uh. No pun intended."

"The other rule you need to remember is this." There was a fumbling of the remote and then... yes. More block letters.

"Granted you can't always do this in an emergency but if you have the time, you should always limber up. The last thing you need is a pulled muscle or a cramp when you are running for your life. So that's it for today. Cardio. Limber up. Sound easy? Good."

Columbus punched off the pause button the remote.

“Let’s see how in shape you are.”

[Please note that this is a class about zombies. If you are squeamish or don't like violence this might not be the post to be reading. OCD is coming.]

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Montreal, Quebec

Balamb Garden

New York.

England

Amstelveen, Netherlands

Weaverville, California

Cat's Lair, Thundera

Venture Compound, USA

South P. Colorado

And Limber up. Of course.

Natalie... hadn't actually picked this class, so she guessed this was some kind of a paperwork error she might want to try and get cleared up later.

But mostly she was thinking the zombies looked icky, as she started limbering up.

It didn't take Bod too long to realize that the girl he was ~~staring at~~ looking at wasn't Kate but the resemblance was close enough that he couldn't take his eyes away from her.

It was amazing in a strange, strange way. He blinked to see if maybe his mind was playing tricks on him but no, she was still there.

Yes, still there. Still oblivious to being watched, too, though that didn't last very long.

Natalie rolled her shoulders, then turned to look at the pale guy who seemed to be staring at her, and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"I'm so sorry," he said when he realized he'd been caught. "You just look...amazingly like someone I know and it caught me off guard. I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to stare."

Natalie resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She should've seen this one coming. "The girl who didn't go to college." As she'd lovingly labelled the girl by now. "Are you the boyfriend?"

He didn't look scary enough, to be honest.

"She doesn't have to go to college," Bod said defensively before shaking his head. "I'm Nobody Owens. Bod, for short. I'm very sorry I stared. I missed the welcome picnic and the resemblance just caught off guard."

"It's okay." Somewhat annoying, but it wasn't his fault and she knew that, so she was deciding to just deal with it. "I'm Natalie."

"Hullo, it's a pleasure to meet you," Bod said, nodding and giving her a faint smile. "I'm guessing I'm not the first one to mistake you for Kate if you knew who I was."

"There was someone at breakfast yesterday," Natalie replied, shrugging a shoulder. "And there was a guy at the picnic. I think he's afraid of you."

"...afraid of me?" Bod took a moment to frown before he realized who it had to be. "Oh, Topher. Yes, I struck him the other day because he decided to be insulting to Kate for no reason. I warned him several times. He didn't listen."

"He seems annoying." Well, he did! even from the... very little time Natalie had spent around him. Topher's first impressions were crap.

She tilted her head a bit, almost curious. "Do I really look that much like her?"

"At first glance, you're very similar," Bod told her, nodding. "But there are differences especially now that I've gotten over my surprise. You sound different and your hair's longer. But, the face...it's exact."

"Hmh." It was something to think about, that someone out there looked exactly like her. Hair could change, faces for the most part didn't.

Natalie held off on asking whether Kate had been half drawn too. "Well, I'm sorry if it bothers you. I know it's probably... weird."

"It doesn't bother me," Bod assured her, shaking his head. "It caught me off guard and I was slightly surprised but these things tend to happen here. I apologize if I bothered you with the way I was looking at you. I won't do it again."

"I'm not bothered," Natalie said. It wasn't quite a lie, because something like 'intrigues and slightly weirded out' was probably the best way to put it. She considered adding that she didn't mind people looking at her, but... That would've sounded weird.

So, she just nodded and went back to warming up.

Bod returned that nod and went back to working out as well. He'd probably think about this later but for now, he was all right with the lookalike situation.

Seifer's idea of limbering up was to stand there and smirk at the zombies.

This class was a bit of an oddity for Bod. If given the choice, he probably wouldn't have run from a zombie because he didn't tend to think things like that were automatically dangerous.

But, this was his way of expanding his mind and getting it into his head that these things could be dangerous and he needed to be prepared. So, he stretched and suddenly felt very grateful that he spent a lot of time walking.

Tara had picked this class, but she thought it would be more about getting rid of zombies, less about ... running.

She hadn't really exercised in months, and she'd spent the day before curled in her nest. She was not looking forward to class, though she managed a few stiff token stretches because it felt better than standing there looking dumb.

Edited 2011-08-30 15:07 (UTC)

Surprisingly, Lion-o wasn't as limber as he thought he was. He grumbled and made a note that he had to work out more often.

Hank was naturally limber -- or, at least, as limp as a wet noodle. That counted, right? Anyway, he did a few jumping jacks and toe touches and called it good. Mostly, he kept his eye on the zombies.

Ohhhh boy. Ohboyohboyohboy. Butters didn't need any extra prompting to limber up; the zombies waiting in the wings were enough to do that! He was nervous, sure, but the limbering up and going through some warm-ups was a good way to try to conquer that nervousness. As he counted in his head and listened to the instructor, he reminded himself that he'd better shape up or ship out!

Or be eaten alive.

Yep. Run for your lives. No weapons in the arena but there are plenty of tools and shovels that you can mod. Please mod your own zombie experience.

Bod didn't do well with weapons but he did really well with running so that's what he was going to do. He took off like a shot, glancing around the arena for places to hide and climb on. His battle with the Jacks came flowing back and he only wished he knew this environment better.

Still, he was just going to run and use any walls, chairs and cover as a means to confuse the zombies into thinking he wasn't around.

Tara ran, slowly and a bit clumsily, and why did she like long skirts and sandals so much, anyhow? Kennedy would have either yelled at her or laughed.

When a zombie came close, she used magic to toss a few shovels into his path in hopes he'd trip. Her aim wasn't great, but it was enough to knock the creature back.

Tara tioed up her skirt and ran faster after that.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH SUPER RUNAWAY!!!"

Hank took off running with both arms held straight in front of him and his legs wheeling awkwardly. It was an odd-looking gait, but it served him fairly well.

He headed straight for the nearest goalpost and tried to scramble up it, to no avail. When the zombies caught up with him, though, he managed to step on one's head and leverage his way up onto the crossbar from there without getting bit.

"AaaahhhAHHHHAaaaahhhAHHHHH!" said Butters, who was running for his life. Running he could do. Running he was good at.

The screaming and flailing of his arms were just for extra effect. And he might even argue that it helped him run faster, too.

Who isn't being chased by zombies. It's a nice feeling for him.

I had to check the calendar three times to convince myself that class was on Tuesday and not Wednesday.

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Tuesday: Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse - Period 3 - Class 1

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Listen to the Lecture...

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RUN! ZOMG! ZOMBIES!

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Talk to Columbus

OOC