Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Tuesday | Period 4

[charming_thief]

Today in class, the Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles students would be happy to find a projector set up in the front of the room and a DVD set to its home screen. Unfortunately, upon second glance, that DVD on its home screen was a 40-minute long FBI recruitment video. And on each of the desks was a brochure with the FBI logo on top that contained much the same message.

As if that wasn't bad enough, a fairly miserable-looking Neal was holding notes that had just been faxed to him from Peter, containing a script for today's class.

Peter... may have just found out what Neal was teaching here, exactly.

"Hey," he said to the class once everyone had arrived, looking decidedly unenthusiastic about today. Holding up his notes so as to make it perfectly clear he was reading from a script, he recited dully, "Of course, no training in tricks and cons would be complete without an understanding of how you can use those skills to assist with national security." He rolled his eyes. "Really, Peter?" 

Monotonously, he continued, "Having been taught how to lie and deceive people over the past six weeks, now you should turn your attention to one of this nation's finest career opportunities that will allow you to put those skills to use while helping your country. Please know that the FBI is an exciting, morally upstanding career choice."

That part made Neal feel a little sick.

Putting down his notes, he clapped his hands and said, "Okay. Movie time. And then a little presentation from Kenzi that has nothing to do with... this."

That last word was uttered with more than a little bit of contempt. He really hated Peter sometimes.

Comments

Sign In

[charming_thief]

Like class today blows.

Re: Sign In

[dabblinginbitch.livejournal.com]

Ramona Flowers

Re: Sign In

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

Nathan Young

Watch the Movie

[charming_thief]

Super dramatic, probably meant to be inspirational. Kind of like forty minutes' worth of this.

Re: Watch the Movie

[dabblinginbitch.livejournal.com]

Ramona was alternating between doing her best not to fall asleep (and largely failing) and drawing caricatures of her classmates.

She wasn't much of an artist, but it was easy to guess who was who, at least.

The movie? Not so much with keeping her attention, no.

Re: Watch the Movie

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

Nathan...couldn't ever see himself in a job like this. Plus, that guy that Professor Caffrey had been talking to had the look of the permanently constipated and if Nathan ever ended up looking like that, he'd jump off a fucking bridge.

And come back to life. Sigh.

He was kicked back and pretending to watch but maybe he was sleeping with his eyes open. Maybe.

Re: Watch the Movie

[dabblinginbitch.livejournal.com]

He wouldn't be for long, if Ramona had anything to do with it. She wrote down a note, then carefully aimed it so that when it struck him, it would hit the side of his head.

She was caring.

I really want to join the FBI now so that I can be as attractive as all these informative, sexy people.

Re: Watch the Movie

[wheeler-360.livejournal.com]

Marshall's attention was... kind of on the movie. He was, after all, one of those more-or-less squeaky-clean kids who only ever really thought about breaking rules, not laws, and in his head that distinction was important.

That said, he still had some grey patches, and his nails were still claw-like. if much less-so than they had been; he'd be distracted from anything today.

Re: Watch the Movie

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

It was actually almost refreshing, after a year in Fandom, to see that sometimes teachers punked out and showed filmstrips. Quinn stopped pating attention pretty early on, since her career plans included absolutely nothing that could get her killed. Instead, she opened her notebook and started trying to caricature Mr. Cafferty. It was hard, making a funny drawing of someone that hot.

Re: Watch the Movie

[richieryan.livejournal.com]

Richie, when he wasn't fighting dozing off, spent a bit of time wondering if anyone actually joined up after watching this thing. Or if the people who made it really thought anyone would. Maybe it was just a torture device.

Kenzi's Oral Report!

[charming_thief]

Wait for her to ping in, and you can feel free to ask her questions afterward to torment her, la!

Re: Kenzi's Oral Report!

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot for the Q & A offer, Neal. So!

"Right, today's report is on the guy we saw the musical about a week ago, how he got away with all that stuff in the 1960's, and how you can get away with it now! Or at least try." Kenzi grinned, and shoved aside the projector to hook up a PowerPoint presentation.

"Con the first: Check bouncing! Harder to pull off these days, 'cause banks start looking for you faster. So, substitute credit card fraud for that. Swipe the numbers, swipe the card, swipe a carbon; people still aren't careful enough. Dumpster dive, and you can find some sweet info." Which Kenzi knew, but let's not get into how. "Just about all major credit cards will forgive the victims after the first $50, so it's not like you're stealing from a person. You're stealing from a gigantic corporation that blows dead bunnies through the carburetor of a 1958 Dodge Oldsmobile. Also? Most companies don't even bother looking for someone who swipes less than a thousand dollars off a card. Some local P.D.'s won't even take a report, 'cause dude, they've got better things to do. Get a quickie job at a mall, keep the carbons, make copies, and the day after you quit, go to town!"

Kenzi switched slides. "Catch Me guy also impersonated and airline pilot, a pediatrician, and a lawyer. Again, not so easy these days to be any of 'em, although there are fake ID (http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Fake-ID) sites on the internet. The trick is not to lie too much. There's a lot of provinces in Canada and the U.S. that don't require a license to be a P.I., for instance. So just print out your I.D. from one of those states, and call yourself an investigator, and you're golden!" She beamed cheerfully. "Also, you don't have to have a college degree to be a lawyer in some U.S. states. (http://blog.directoryofschools.com/online-schools/become-a-lawyer-without-law-school/) Just pass the bar exam. Pay someone to take it for you, switch out the I.D.'s, and voila. Instant representation!"

"The biggest trick of all, of course, was that he sold all this stuff in several books, the movie, and the musical. Some people aren't too sure about the facts here. Same way that that one movie about the 'based on real events' horse race in Saudi Arabia is a total lie. So. Easiest scam ever: start a rumor, make it cool, then sell the rights to your story to Hollywood. We live here on Weirdness Island. Shouldn't be too impossible."

Kenzi bowed and the PowerPoint exploded into fireworks as she threw more chocolate at people from finding it everywhere yesterday. "Thank you for your support!"

Re: Kenzi's Oral Report!

[charming_thief]

Neal? Clapped. More accurately, he gave Kenzi an actual standing ovation.

SUCK IT, PETER.

"That," he said, "was amazing."

And he wasn't even going to torture her with questions!

Talk to Neal

[charming_thief]

A hearty "WTF" would not be out of place here.

Re: Talk to Neal

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

Kenzi was staring at him. Just. Staring.

Re: Talk to Neal

[charming_thief]

Neal quirked an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

Talk to Kenzi

[charming_thief]

I guess if you want to harrass her about something not her oral report?

Re: Talk to Kenzi

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

Kenzi was nomming chocolate, and only marginally ready to talk about last week. Parts of it were just hosed.

OOC

[charming_thief]

Have I mentioned I hate crutches? Because I really really really do.

Re: OOC

[dabblinginbitch.livejournal.com]

You know, I broke a toe this weekend, and you are taking ALL MY STREET CRED AWAY by talking about your legit injury. Hdu.

Re: OOC

[charming_thief]

Ha! Omg sorry about your toe. Did you at least break it in a non-pathetic way? Because there is just about no way to sustain an injury that is more pathetic than how my foot broke. AT ALL.

Re: OOC

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

Crutches are THE WORST. Your sides and underneath your arms are gonna be SO SORE. I know, that's not helpful but man, that's what I remember from when I ripped up ligaments in my ankle.

Re: OOC

[charming_thief]

UGH. SUCKS. Not excited for that one bit.

I'm considering just not getting up for six weeks, but that may not be super practical. Sigh.

Re: OOC

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

*gives you more fake chocolate*

Re: OOC

[charming_thief]

OMG I LOVE YOU. THAT IS THE BEST ORAL REPORT EVER, KTHX.

*bows*

*accepts chocolate*